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Strange man caught doing a number two on our front doorstep this morning

Ms Smalls

By Ms Smalls
in The Lounge

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Loz

Loz

Posted
Posted
Just wondered if you were anywhere near the Goose Green end of East Dulwich. I saw a man hunkered down producing a turd on the grassy area by the mural, flanking the playground. It was so odd and so public, that I just averted my eyes and carried on. I'd forgotten all about it until this latest tale of the turd.


Obviously, being so near the mural, he was a performance artiste. It was a clever and witty comment on modern art in general. You really should have stopped and applauded or, at the least, scratched your chin while saying "hmmmmm, deep".

Squirrel

Squirrel

Posted
Posted

Hello everyone,


I am also a 1st timer here, this is the 1st ED issue i've read + i think I have a story Ms Smalls might like 2 hear!!


Last year when I was working in a pub in Nunhead, 1 of my colleagues arrived 2 work extremely ditressed! Reason being, the night before she'd been walking her dog through Peckham Rye Park and spotted a man about 50 yards in front of her squatting down and looking her way...


As she got closer she realised that this man was not only having a fat poo but smiling at her whilst he did so... She (not literally) shit her self, grabbed her dog, swore at him and run home.


That night she reported it to the police but strangely whilst walking her dog the next morning, she spoke 2 her other dog walking friends in P.Rye park and not only found someone else who'd had the same experience but who'd also heard of others that had seen him too... Ha Ha!!


Vile but hilarious!! They reffered to him as the Peckham Rye Pooer... Brilliant!!!


Doesn't sound like Ms Smalls's Pooer as he was apparently not at all apolegetic, in contrast looked like he was having a great time, but might possibly be the same Pooer that alba has seen...


Perhaps the Peckham Rye Pooer is branching out?!


Thought u all might like to know.


x

Carrie

Carrie

Posted
Posted
Maybe the Peckham Rye pooer was the same person who relieved himself on our office doorstep on Monday morning - no-one was caught in the act but a steaming pile was deposited sometime between 9 - 9.30 am - he chose a pretty public spot because we are right on Rye Lane not hidden round a corner!
bigbadwolf

bigbadwolf

Posted
Posted
I admit it does sound funny but am I alone in the fact that if I caught someone taking a shit on my doorstep in broad daylight I would seriously loose my temper which would also register with me if I were about to do the same to someone else. And the fact he actually wiped his arse after being caught is unbelievable. Did he have the look that he was perhaps care in the community Ms Smalls, if he was some little burberry clad pikey I'd have given him slap.
Tony.London Suburbs

Tony.London Suburbs

Posted
Posted

Louisa Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> When you need to go, you need to go, give the poor

> chap a break. >

> Louisa.

.....Tru Say Mi Sistren! Seen!

p.s.Wa Gwarn? My Man is almost certainly a genuine salt-of-the-earth Working Class Geezer just keeping it real!

local1

local1

Posted
Posted

Louisa Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> When you need to go, you need to go, give the poor

> chap a break.

>

> Louisa.



Ahh, how sweet. Well if the poor chap is reading this ,perhaps, with such a warm welcome he may turn up on your threshold. At least he will get a cup of tea and a kit kat.

bigbadwolf

bigbadwolf

Posted
Posted

Louisa are you on some kind of mind altering drug today? I hope you're being sarcastic in regard to those in a hurry or am I wrong in thinking I'd be welcome to break into your house tonight and lay a cable on your living room floor. Don't tempt me.

Tony whats all this about giving him a 'finger'. I don't mean to be patronising but if you stick your finger up there you'll be in serious danger or ringing his back door bell. And making contact with an already excited mans prostate will mean you'll have a completely different mess on your hands, sorry front step.

Tony.London Suburbs

Tony.London Suburbs

Posted
Posted

bigbadwolf Wrote:

Tony whats all this about giving him a 'finger'.. if you stick your

> finger up there you'll be in serious danger or

> ringing his back door bell.

Urrgghh! I have to say I've never been one to visit The Tradesmans Entrance(6)B)

I'll be more careful where I stick my digit in future...:))

  • 1 month later...
lauraontoast

lauraontoast

Posted
Posted

In an attempt to save this thread from descending into utter un-poo-related filth (which it already has, to some extent) I thought I'd add my 'Mystery Pooper' anecdote:

When staying the night at my best friend's house, in the morning she went out to bring the milk in and there was a big, fresh turd plonked directly in the middle of the four bottles.

Now either there is a cat in our area with incredible aim, or (more likely) THE MYSTERY POOPER STRIKES AGAIN. :-S

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