Making the most of just 1 while waiting for #2?

[Getgoing]

We've been trying for our second child for 6 months now and I'm getting frustrated with the wait! I know that isn't helping and that I need to relax so I'm focusing on that and enjoying my gorgeous son right now.

To help me really appreciate what I have right now, and relax and enjoy it, could you ladies tell me what things I could be doing now with just one toddler that wont be possible or as easy when there is a baby around?? Or things that you loved doing with one toddler that you weren't able to enjoy as much as your family grew? I know that things just work out with a bigger family and you probably don't 'miss' things as such, but I'm looking for some inspiration to help my keep busy and happy while we wait for mother nature!

Thanks

[sunbob]

You could spend some time getting as ready as possible to be able to still do things with your older one when your new child is getting mobile and curious. I am playing catch up (ages 4 and 2) and wish I had a high up cupboard for older child's craft stuff which mustn't be wripped to pieces and am trying, with very limited time and brain resources, to think of how I could create a space for her to use them in without interference (small flat).

[snowboarder]

Oh SO many things! I went to the theatre with my 4.5 yr old yesterday, and had a day in town with him, and it suddenly occurred to me that I've hardly ever spent any time with just him since his brother appeared nearly 3 yrs ago.

I found just getting around with 2 way harder. So trips out would be my recommendation - train trips into town, museums, adventures etc. I've never taken my 2 to the science museum as I just can't face the journey and logistics, even now! My eldest is a bit of a runaway which makes things harder!

And swimming! Not easy with a toddler and a baby!

Have fun....and I hope number 2 comes along just at the right time....

[EmilyPie]

Second all of snowboarders suggestions. My second is nearly 6 months and while I love him to bits there is loads of stuff I miss. All of the above as well as: being able to play with my 2yo and really focus on him without being distracted by the baby/how exhausted I am; going to cafe's or restaurants and it feeling relatively civilised; going to the big soft play places and being able to climb around with him and help him when he gets stuck without being in a constant panic that the baby is unattended; just stuff like going to the playground without it being really stressful trying to keep an eye on two and juggle breastfeeds/nappy changes/demands to go down the big slide with my LO or rescue him when he gets stuck at the top of the climbing frame. Obviously all these things will get easier as the baby gets older, but the ability to really focus on just one child will, I suspect, always be a bit of a struggle. I suggest putting a list together. Maybe a mix of things your LO really enjoys, things you would like to do. Make it a mixture of little things - a trip to the cafe together for instance - and bigger things - a trip into town or a HOLIDAY where you're not so sleep deprived that you can't see, let alone appreciate your surroundings.

I realise this post may make me sound unappreciative. I do know how very lucky I am to have 2, but it is tough, especially at first, and i wish I'd made more of the relative freedom of just having one.

Good luck with it all. I know all the trying and waiting is horrible and I think it is really smart to try and focus on having fun with your LO. Not always an easy thing to do!

[midivydale]

I am really enjoying chatting and exploring with my son who is nearly 2. So playing with his trains, lots and lots of reading, exploring outside and singing the favourite song over and over and over again.

Baking and allowing plenty of time so that he can "help".

In general allowing extra time for everything so that the most mundane chore becomes an activity. For instance in sainsburys we go "hunting for the bananas" counting them as we put them in the bag.

Its alot of fun and I really treasure the 1 2 1 time we can spend together. I am not sure if there will ever be a number 2 for us so I am like you focusing on making the most of the precious time with the one I have.

[Sol]

Enjoy him! the second one will come when is the right time; I wouldn't be able to manage a toddler and a baby and I am glad the second one took one year trying to come and they are 3 years and 7 months apart; now that the second one is 3 years old, it is a bit easier and they are best friends and entertain each other and they also have time apart from each other which is good. Life is really busy with two or more.

[canela]

Go on holiday! Go to the one place you really really want to visit before it is too late! When my eldest was 2 I visited family and friends in Australia, Thailand and Vietnam. Completely blew all my savings but I don't regret it as it felt like my last moment of freedom before entering the adult world for good. As my wise friend said to me, "with one child you can still just be a young couple with a kid; once you have two it all steps up a gear". Really, I would no way contemplate going off with my two kids now. And once you get into school routines etc, your life is planned out for the next 10 years or so!!! Do whatever it is now that you have at the back of your mind you would still like to do!

And, if you don't want to go too far, at least go and stay the weekend with friends and family around the country or even just the city! Enjoy being able to have a drink and not need to get up and feed several times a night.

[Sol]

Agree with Canela, travelling is very difficult with two and expensive; we did a lot of travelling when we had just one but have slow down since we have two which is not easy as we are both from overseas away from Europe

[crystal7]

I echo everything that Snowboarder has said. I've tried really hard to get out and about with too but it is much more difficult than with 1. I took my daughter to the theatre yesterday and then shopping in town and it was lovely! She is now at school and I'm I'm enjoying pottering around with 1 toddler. If your son is still napping and will do so on the go it might be nice to have some lunches out whilst he sleeps. We used to go to the Southbank, tire out my daughter at a Royal Festival hall and the playground and then eat at Ping Pong or similar.

[Getgoing]

Thanks ladies - great ideas and I appreciate the support. Heres to lots of trips out and about and nature doing it's thing at just the right time!

[Samantha82]

I agree with canela, I would try to travel as much as possible with just having one, as it gets so much more complicated with two and also more expensive.

[scareyt]

Days out together can be really nice with just one. I started a blog a while ago about our day trips in London - it's here if you want some inspiration! Www.toddlertrips.wordpress.com