Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Thought I'd start a new thread for posts that have really made you spit your tea over your keyboard!


I'd like to start with this


macroban Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Ocado has been making huge losses for the last eight years and was just about to break even when the recession hit. This > service may not survive.

>

> Foxtons sales are running at under 50% of the 2008 business plan. This service may not survice.

>

> I would not be buying shares in London Scaffolding, which had a near monoploy for East Dulwich loft conversions.


Which drew this response.


Macroban.. you've excelled yourself.

Be sure to pop over in December and give our boy the hard facts about Father Christmas.



Top drawer >:D<

Link to comment
https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/3757-lol-posts/
Share on other sites

I liked this one.... another *bob* spesh..





*Bob* Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I see what you're getting at now, jrussel.

>

> If I may present my own parallel experience:

>

> The other day I had a disagreement with an orange,

> who I accused of behaving exactly like Celine

> Dion. I understand that there are differences

> between oranges and Celine Dion (geographical

> origin, accents, cruel thin nose etc) but in the

> context of our disagreement - first and foremost -

> and without (herewith) no further ado, I, er..

>

> And other nonsensical made-up stuff.



Good work Bob!

Link to comment
https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/3757-lol-posts/#findComment-118693
Share on other sites

ed_pete Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Is this not more of a lounge topic ?


No Pete, for heaven's sake pay attention.

MM wants to have a picnic, at the very least he'd have to go as far as the garden.

You can't have a picnic in a living room.


Another fine riposte from HonaloochieB, whose well tuned sense of humour always makes me smile.

Link to comment
https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/3757-lol-posts/#findComment-120450
Share on other sites

And another gem from HonaloochieB from the Old Fogies thread today. This guy is seriously funny and has me laughing out loud on a regular basis..


It's refreshing to hear a lady adopting a modest mien these days (if mien is the word I'm looking for).

There are far too many 'fast pieces' parading around in outfits that would be considered racey in the marital bed, let alone in the 'less than ten items' queue in Sainburys.

I sometimes find myself surrounded by midriffs, cleavage (upper and lower), and thighs.

I know it's not fashionable to use the phrase 'brazen hussy' mowadays, but these women are brazen hussies.

It's makes it hard to be gentleman these days.

Link to comment
https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/3757-lol-posts/#findComment-120477
Share on other sites

I am also a fan of the work of *Bob*, but let us not forget the following from Colindaz- I am particularly fond of the ?15 discount for niceness to animals (in bold)


"When Glass as been toughend the only week points are the edges, so as long as all edges are protected you can't break it.

You can jump up and down on a piece of toughend glass and it will not break, but tap a edge with a metal object and it will explode.


One of the biggest glass companys in the world (Pilkinton glass) toughend the glass for your unit and I think they should know a thing or two about glass, don't you think so.


I wouldn't ask a carpenter about glass

I wouldn't ask a glazier about wood


The cheapest option for me would of been a panel and glass as we discussed ( I would of made a lot more money that way)


I wanted you to be happy with the finished job, so it looked good and it would still be sercure.


The only reason for not having a square cut out in a unit is the large cost involved.


They charged me ?70 per square hole in each piece of glass plus ?60 for the unit a total of ?200


I was going to charge you ?265 fitted (not the ?280 we agreed) because I liked the two of you for what you were willing to do for your dogs.


I was told the unit would be ready in a week, but it wasn't ready until wednesday.


I should of phoned and explained, but I had more pressing problems at the time as explained on the phone later"

Link to comment
https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/3757-lol-posts/#findComment-120484
Share on other sites

Another good one from HonaloochieB


SeanMacGabhann Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> >

> Speaking for my people Keef... - oh ok then,

> speaking for me..

>

> There IS a certain type of English person who

> likes to use the history between both countries to

> try and be the big man. And yes the English have a

> poor history with regard to the treatment of Irish

> (B&Bs with no black no dogs no Irish in the window

> doesn't scream "parity" does it?)


Honestly the way Paddies pronounce 'party' cracks me up.

Filum, that's amother one.

Link to comment
https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/3757-lol-posts/#findComment-121242
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Latest Discussions

    • There is a large amount fresh veg available in the green book cage outside the copleston church,sprouts,spring onions,potatoes,parsnips and bread rolls,pop down shame to see it get wasted          
    • On the original topic - there was more of this on Whateley Road today. Same place but the other side of the road. Could be the same dogwalker as for the other nearby roads?   I don't have a dog - but would have thought it's hard for owners not to notice when a dog is doing it in the middle of a pavement? 
    • Thought I’d take a trip down to Rye Lane this morning to visit the charity shops etc. I usually park in the Morrisons car park and buy stuff there and then the nearby shops. I know there are a few shops near the Aylesham centre that are having to close (Boots the chemist was a shoplifters favourite over the years) but I was shocked to see the extent of shop closures, graffiti, overall decline in the area.  Sometimes I get the bus and wanted to visit the Crises charity shop but it didn’t open until 10.30am and it had a coffee place inside. They have a shop in Rye Lane but are missing out on early rising customers. Walking down towards Santendar and the Primark store was very empty.Just hope that isn’t due for closure. The security guards are very nonchalant. The Scope charity shop has a prime position but doesn’t promote the shop Greggs have done away with their self service due to the number of thefts of food items.  The Poundland was quite empty too but I visit this one as they have stock since the Camberwell one closed down.         
    • Maybe I'm behind the times, but in the old days if you went to a pub for charity fundraiser you'd have a quiz or karaoke and you'd be chipping in for a new scanner at your local hospital or maybe sending some poor kiddie for some cancer treatment abroad. Nowadays you can roll down to the Old Nun's head in Nunhead and tip your money into a bucket for some sad young woman to go a private surgeon and have her breasts sliced off -  as if that was going to be some kind of life-saving treatment!  Not only that, she's publicising her Valentine's crowdfunder with a funny ha ha (not) cartoon of a girl (see pic) with a hypodermic in her bum and calling it 'Valen-Tits-off'. Jesus wept. Whatever happened to hearts and flowers? It's so unbelievably sick. I'm a woman, I've pretty much still got all the woman-bits intact. Periods and puberty weren't much fun, I was bullied at school, wondered about my sexuality and boys and spots and the rest of it, got called a lezzer by the class cow, but I got through it. And I would no more think that cutting bits off a girl was the solution to her misery than I would put my teenage daughter on a diet if she was diagnosed with anorexia. I can't be the only person who finds the pub - and its publicity material - very VERY offensive?
Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...