The Old Fogies Thread

[HonaloochieB]

Ringworm as well. Does she want the King's mistresses to end up with ringworm?

Your Granny should know her grey hairs won't protect her from a charge of treason.

[Michael Palaeologus]

I am distrubed that you and are clearly the only two old fogies left around here. All the others have died, apart from that Dulwichmum who us only allowed to write with crayons.

[HonaloochieB]

I'm the only two fogies left? Does this mean my evil twin's back in town?

[HonaloochieB]

Oh, I see you meant 'you and I' didn't you? But you forgot the 'I' didn't you, you soppy old sod?

The rest of the board is too young to be old and too fashionable to be fogies, and are interested only in buying extravagantly priced plimsoles from expensive boutiques. That's when they're not spending their time in swish clubs.

Bloody kids.

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Honestly, what do they teach in schools these days? Misspelled words and misplaced pronouns. Tut, tut. Hand out Palaeologus.

[Guest]

Bring back the birch I say - a damn good hiding never did anyone any harm.

Would be a regular on this thread but am such an old fogey (see, so old I can even spell it properly) I can't work out how to get broadband at home without signing away my life to BT (see pathetic thread asking for help).

As credentials I would like to add that twice in the last few days I have asked some children to stop playing outside my windows.

[macroban]

I think Lauryn Hill released an LP recently.

[Guest]

Can you play one of those on the Dansette?

[HonaloochieB]

macroban Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I think Lauryn Hill released an LP recently.

Is that Lauryn 'Go On Father You Knows You Likes It' Hill?

I bought her last waxing 'Don't Go Down The Coalmine Daddy, You've Got Rnough Slack In Your Pants' It was a ruddy gem.

Her treatment of 'When Father Papered The Parlour', 'Don't Eat The Baby' and 'Flash, Bang, Wallop' have become the definitive versions in my opinion.

And her 'Little White Bull' had me in tears.

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Put yer hearing trumpet in you deaf old git. Lauryn Hill (mother to Jimmy), not Tommy Steele.

[HonaloochieB]

Ms B Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> As credentials I would like to add that twice in

> the last few days I have asked some children to

> stop playing outside my windows.

I trust that you entreated them to stay down their own flipping end, and implied that you were acquaited with their parents?

[HonaloochieB]

Ms B Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Can you play one of those on the Dansette?

Oh the Dansette, eh? Steady on old girl, no need to go about the place swanking, you know.

[macroban]

How many brain cells does a music expert have to lose before forgetting Lauryn Hill?

[HonaloochieB]

Peckhamgatecrasher Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Put yer hearing trumpet in you deaf old git.

> Lauryn Hill (mother to Jimmy), not Tommy Steele.

Jeff Goldsmith? I remember him, he had a whelk stall outside the Blind Beggar, Reggie and Ron used to kill him every Saturday night for a laugh. Don't recall him playing the trumpet though.

Oh it's that Lauryn Hill. I bet she's proud of her Jimmy. Lovely voice. 'Born Free' that was one of his.

It was the title tune to that film Get Carter, you know that one where Terence Stamp gets an Italian job, you know the one where they have all the stunts in mini-skirts.

Classic British film, not like some of this foreign muck, all sex and garlic.

[HonaloochieB]

macroban Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> How many brain cells does a music expert have to

> lose before forgetting Lauryn Hill?

I don't think any self-respecting music expert would want to forget the mother of Des O' Connor.

The man whose 'Dick A Dum Dum' brought such joy to the country during those dark days of WW2?

I should blooming coco.

[Guest]

Dearie me, midday already, better get my greens on a low light or they'll never be done in time.

Couldn't find a nice bit of tripe in Somerfield - all salmon steaks, ready meals and that how's your father. Disgraceful.

[HonaloochieB]

I know and if you ask them for powdered egg they look at you as if you're talking Greek.

Even the Greek ones.

[Guest]

Another sunny day and Lordship Lane is full of people showing far too much flesh in my opinion. In my day, the weather didn't have much to do with what you wore - I've got my raincoat on over my cardie, just in case. We didn't win the war by walking around with no hat, you know. Where's my umbrella.

[HonaloochieB]

It's refreshing to hear a lady adopting a modest mien these days (if mien is the word I'm looking for).

There are far too many 'fast pieces' parading around in outfits that would be considered racey in the marital bed, let alone in the 'less than ten items' queue in Sainburys.

I sometimes find myself surrounded by midriffs, cleavage (upper and lower), and thighs.

I know it's not fashionable to use the phrase 'brazen hussy' mowadays, but these women are brazen hussies.

It's makes it hard to be gentleman these days.

[HonaloochieB]

Oh and Sainsburys take note it's fewer than ten items.

Bloody kids.

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

If it makes it hard at your age Hb, count your blessings.

[HonaloochieB]

HonaloochieB Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Oh and Sainsburys take note it's fewer than ten

> items.

>

> Bloody kids.

[HonaloochieB]

Peckhamgatecrasher Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> If it makes it hard at your age Hb, count your

> blessings.

I'm sure I don't know what you mean PGC. Besides I'm not a man of my age.

[Guest]

Good point about the 'less than', HB, which reminds me that we need to do something about hideous proliferation of plurals formed by adding apostrophe-s to the singular. Let's buy organic, recyclable marker pens, disguise ourselves as a fogey guerrilla hit squad and sub-edit East Dulwich.

[HonaloochieB]

Ms B Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Good point about the 'less than', HB, which

> reminds me that we need to do something about

> hideous proliferation of plurals formed by adding

> apostrophe-s to the singular. Let's buy organic,

> recyclable marker pens, disguise ourselves as a

> fogey guerrilla hit squad and sub-edit East

> Dulwich.

Ms B. Have I got this correct? You're suggesting that we (and, by the way we have never been formally introduced, and for that matter, have no notion whatever which church the other attends) take a selection of magic markers and randomly correct the work of people who have paid money for advertising? Or our betters as I like to call them.

Ms B, I admire your spunk, but does it all not seem somewhat reckless?