The Old Fogies Thread

[Tony.London Suburbs]

HonaloochieB Wrote:

The Adverts.

Adverts? Adverts? Call the offerings of today Adverta?

Now Leonardo Rossiter and Joan Collins doing the Cinzano Adverts, deh was Adverts or The PG Tips Chimps or The original Milky Bar Kid adverts, they were Adverts....

[bigbadwolf]

I may not be an old fogie Tony but I agree that the standard of advertising is about as interesting as reading a bank statement. Watching the "I want to do a poo at Paul's house" makes me want to stick splinters in my eyes.

[Brendan]

None of the splinters you get these days though. They barely even make the wound septic anymore. Back in my day we had proper splinters with extra splintery bits and tetanus.

[Atila Reincarnate]

Tony.London Suburbs Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> HonaloochieB Wrote:

> The Adverts.

>

> Adverts? Adverts? Call the offerings of today

> Adverta?

>

> Now Leonardo Rossiter and Joan Collins doing the

> Cinzano Adverts, deh was Adverts or The PG Tips

> Chimps or The original Milky Bar Kid adverts, they

> were Adverts....

I agree Tony, but the Meerkat advert is a good one.

[HonaloochieB]

The Rolling Stones at Glastonbury?

What were they thinking?

That place is just an excuse for people to get hopped on goofballs.Or worse and fornicate.

YES FORNICATE!

Not a very fashionable word these days I know, but the mot juste in this instance. A French phrase of course, but I hear that like as not they invented fornication. Casual infidelity was bloody invented by them an' all, the buggers (pardon my french).

And Mick? What was he like with his prancing? And them trousers? I swear, you could see what he had for his breakfast and what he was having for lunch the next day.

And him a lord!!

Any road, where was I? Oh yes, what possessed the Rolling Stones into attending that gilded palace of sin?

My friend Noreen reckons they might have been asked by a group of devil worshiping royalty, but I reckon she's blethering.

Although no one's saying anything about the fact that if you rearrange the letters of Michael Eavis you get I C A Evil Shame.

Some fornicators'll call that coincidence I suppose.

Edited, because I missed out a word. I'm that mithered.

[Sue]

zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[Annette Curtain]

Sue Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Sue

Have an afternoon nap, you'll feel all the better for it

[numbers]

Atila Reincarnate Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Tony.London Suburbs Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> > HonaloochieB Wrote:

> > The Adverts.

> >

> > Adverts? Adverts? Call the offerings of today

> > Adverta?

> >

> > Now Leonardo Rossiter and Joan Collins doing

> the

> > Cinzano Adverts, deh was Adverts or The PG Tips

> > Chimps or The original Milky Bar Kid adverts,

> they

> > were Adverts....

>

>

I agree Tony, but the Meerkat advert is a good

> one.

I used to puzzle over the use of meerkats on those car insurance ads, couldn't quite make the connection. It finally clicked the other week.

PS very funny thread hooch, they don't make em like this anymore!! ;)

[HonaloochieB]

numbers Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

>

> PS very funny thread hooch, they don't make em

> like this anymore!! ;)

Ah, but they might Numbers (I'm hoping the name's not a reference to anything that's illegal and makes you sleepy) - no offence, all it takes is the right sort of people to stand up and be counted on to say the right sort of thing to the worst sort of wrong,uns over and over and over again.

And if they happen to be youngsters...

Just off the top of my head, running shoes with a suit. At a wedding. Recently. I'll hold my peace at that.

[HonaloochieB]

Just wait 'til Sue rouses herself, then we'll see what for!

!

[numbers]

HonaloochieB Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Just wait 'til Sue rouses herself, then we'll see

> what for!

>

> !

Ha! That's what I was thinking!!

PS Numbers is my mafia name. And I've seen a bride and groom in running shoes. What's the world coming to? Tsk.

[Jah Lush]

Some modern phrases irritate the hell out of me. For instance - where the hell did this stupid phrase 'My bad' suddenly spring from? I find it really irritating in its ungrammatical pointlessness.

And idiots who say awesome all the time to describe just about anything. Morons the lot of 'em

They need a good slap with a hard back copy of the Collins English dictionary. That'll learn 'em.

[HonaloochieB]

Oh, and prevent me from commencing on 'don't get me started'.

Allow me to begin on that one and we'll all be here 'til sparrow fart.

[numbers]

Jah I swear I could have written your post! Thought it was just me!

Another one I can't bear is people saying 'only x amount of sleeps till blah' I mean who says that after they've reached double figure birthdays. God I love this thread,where's my slippers?

[Jah Lush]

Yes yes yes Numbers. I'm so glad you mentioned that one. I really really hate that. "Sleeps". Whatever happened to days?. No, it's fucking 'sleeps'. Even a five-year-old should be embarrassed to say that. Cupid Stunts. It sounds so infantile. Give 'em a slap with a wet kipper.

[El Pibe]

'Hip', such an awful word, especially when coupled with 'replacement'

and those damned iron horses ruining the sleepy repose of our green and pleasant land

As for Pylons, don't get me started...

Ellipses, do people even know what they're about?

'Much', keep saying it, 'much', stupid stupid stupid word.

Is this the irrational hatred thread? Sorry, my bad.

[HonaloochieB]

El Pibe Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> 'Hip', such an awful word, especially when coupled

> with 'replacement'

> and those damned iron horses ruining the sleepy

> repose of our green and pleasant land

>

> As for Pylons, don't get me started...

>

> Ellipses, do people even know what they're about?

>

> 'Much', keep saying it, 'much', stupid stupid

> stupid word.

>

> Is this the irrational hatred thread? Sorry, my

> bad.

No El P, don't be sorry, just be concerned about your interpretation of the word irrational - everything you mention? Spot on.

Ooh El P? Ah, LP. I remember buying my first record, The Trashmen so it was their 'Surfin' Bird' LP.

But not for me the easy 'Surfin' Bird' option on there, I was always a 'Henrietta' fan.

And now I work with someone of the same name, coincidence? I think not.

Ellipses??? Who uses them? B@STARDS. That's who.

Want to end a sentence or like as not a paragraph, but you've nowt to say?

Three dots.

That'll impress some, it will. They'll think you've depth, bottom even and that what you've written prior (though let's call it typed, shall we? I generally side wi' Gore Vidal on the matter) has as much to do wi' being meaningful and connected wi' owt as me Uncle Sebastian's girlfriend, Connie (short for 'Coniferous', Jesus wept) has of knowing that a breakfast of skunk and Special Brew doesn't make for a productive day.

Haight Ashbury - J'Accuse.

Specially in that London.

It'll take more than that wi' me, though.

Course if I knew that London irony, I'd end this wi' three dots.

Probably, Parker and L Sayer for a bit of a read and Perkins for a nice frock.

[ianr]

> Ellipses??? Who uses them? B@STARDS. That's who.

Spoken with all the conviction of a convert or reformed sinner. Well done. http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?20,90928,93056#msg-93056

[HonaloochieB]

Eeh, thanks for that Ian, lad.

Were that me? Ellipses an' all?

Seems a life time away, someone else's like as not.

[ianr]

Aye, I won't say there's no risk of contagion. I allus use the disinfectant washes at t' forum gate. They's seen me through the while.

[HonaloochieB]

Ooh, that is wise IanR, luv.

And I know there's probably not too much wrong wi' the lot on here you have to go hugger-mugger wi' all't time.

But just the same, you never know, do you?

I live in mortal fear of catching a pox. The thought of forever being branded 'poxy' fills me wi' dread.

[HonaloochieB]

This in't warmth or anything approaching it.

It's a judgement so it is. A plague like as not.

So I call upon you to look into your hearts and consider your sins and beg for forgiveness.

My favourite'd be fornication. Followed closely by gazing in lust at Mick Jagger last weekend.

If you were at Glastonbury then it's a semi-mortal sin, watching on the telly (specially if you were paying too much attention to his cr***h area), that'd be upper end-venal in my judgement.

That counts as adultery if you're married or covetesnouss if you're not.

If you've no deity (God help you though) then don't be frit, I'll forgive you.

Any road, I've said my piece, I'll say no more but I suggest you all do as I'm going to and get on your knees.

I reckon it's all that'll get a sinner relief round these parts.

[ianr]

When I consider the diseases of these times, together with all the signs, symbols and tribulations, I fear a relapse, alas, alas, I fear a relapse.

[HonaloochieB]

Oh, Ian luv, I were convinced at diseases.

But the rest with its vague warning against apocalyptic venereal meltdown, well it just made my day.

Thanks pet.

[uncleglen]

It's ellipsis...