"wow, she's pretty for a black girl"

[Kerri]

Peckhamgatecrasher Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Tentatively putting my confused head above the

> parapet here.

>

> About 15 years' ago I got into pretty hot water

> when I suggested to a mixed-race colleague that

> she was completely denying her white, middle-class

> heritage. She insisted that she was black and had

> even traced her father's ancestors to his Masai

> tribe, had changed her name to an African one,

> that I knew nothing and was racist. She was backed

> up by our all black colleagues and I felt pretty

> stupid in the face of such militant propaganda.

>

> Since then, I have assiduously called all

> mixed-race people black, taught my daughter that

> this is the correct term, etc, etc.

>

> So what's the correct form now in light of the

> above posts?

Almost exactly the same thing has happened to me on a few occasions. There seems to be a lot of mixed race people who just regard themselves as black, from what a few mixed race friends have told me, I think this may be due to a fear of being told they're denying their 'roots' if they don't, by other black people, even though half of their roots is white; there seems to be a lot of black people who would rather acknowledge a mixed race person as just black rather than half white and black, which is why probably some white people label a mixed race person as black, as they don't want to be told they're racist and end up in arguements, as I have been in a few arguements.

Chav: An old friend of mine was trying to become legal guardian her grandchildren (her daughter was a drug addict and the kids were in care), who were of mixed race, white/black; there was a long drama as she was white and social services thought it more fitting to put the children with a black family, to be in the right culture??? The woman was their grandmother and the children were half white??? The social workers working on this case were mainly black. Eventually she got the kids, but I do think it is very odd!!!

As for these guys saying 'she's pretty for a black girl' what absolute pricks and I know the anger you felt.

I was stuck in traffic at a round-about in Brockley the other week and a car opposite me wound down their window and the guy was trying to get my attention shouting 'oi white girl, oi sexy white girl', I felt enraged, but was also amused that he thought that this kind of pick up line would actually work!

I was also walking down Rye lane minding my own business shopping, when a group of girls started following me discussing my appearance with comments like "she looks like one of them really fake white girls with blonde hair" Considering there is nothing fake about me and I was on a local shopping trip so hardly had much make up on etc, I found it quite amusing, as although I was femininly dressed and they were tracksuited up, they were plastered in makeup with hair extensions to boot etc, so I don't know who they were calling fake.

Peoples ignorance can be very annoying.

[Dulwich Born And Bred]

I am mixed race and I like to be known as mixed race as I am not black, nor white. I have a mixture of Jamaican, Dutch, Greek and English, so despite having brown skin, it doesn't make me black.

And I most certainly do not feel like I am denying any parts of my roots to black or white people, because it is not about them, it is about me, I have parents who are of different origins and that does not make me black or white,it makes me mixed...fact.

[NatashaD]

I have it on good authority that it is politically incorrect to be called 'mixed race'. It is now 'dual heritage'. To the original poster who clearly has a massive chip on her shoulder - GET OVER IT. Sticks and stones and all that. Better to be called pretty than ugly.

[pk]

Kerri Wrote:

> Chav: An old friend of mine was trying to become

> legal guardian her grandchildren (her daughter was

> a drug addict and the kids were in care), who were

> of mixed race, white/black; there was a long drama

> as she was white and social services thought it

> more fitting to put the children with a black

> family, to be in the right culture???

my understanding (from experience) is that in these circumstances (not saying that it's right or wrong) is that they want a adoptive family who understand what it is like to be the victim of racism

personally i think that this theory may have some value when placing children outside their blood family, but in the above circumstances probably should not apply

[alethea]

I had a funny one the other day I overheard a group of young lads giving me marks out of ten when I was getting my car, and funnily I got a 10 but got knocked down to an 8 because I had a ford focus.

Wasn't quite sure whether to be chuffed or not.

[Dulwich Born And Bred]

NatashaD Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I have it on good authority that it is politically

> incorrect to be called 'mixed race'. It is now

> 'dual heritage'. To the original poster who

> clearly has a massive chip on her shoulder - GET

> OVER IT. Sticks and stones and all that. Better to

> be called pretty than ugly.

I like how the higher powers that be decided that it is politically incorrect to be called mixed race! My skin, my mixture and I like the term 'Mixed Race'. I don't actually find it comfortable to say 'Dual Heritage' and all the mixed race people I know love being called 'Mixed Race', hell, there's even lots of face book groups entitled " Mixed and loving it!" and there are lots of members!

[muffintop]

  Quote

To the original poster who clearly has a massive chip on her shoulder - GET OVER IT.

Obviously looking for a rise NatashaD, quite how my getting a racist and derogatory comment (that means belittling or disparaging, basically not very nice comment), appears to have made me come across as clearly having "a massive chip" on my shoulder, bewilders me!:-S

[muffintop]

I find your comment to be both offensive and completely untruthful and have reported you.

[Administrator]

Comment noted and acted upon.

[NatashaD]

I am not looking for a rise. It is an opinion based on your comment, if anything giving rise to further discussion. It is your opinion that the comment from those blokes was 'racist' and 'derogatory'. You accused me of speaking 'unsubstantiated twaddle' on another thread, when I had checked my facts. You hadn't. You made comments about how paedophiles tend to be white (totoally irrelevant to the thread, incidentally), but could not accept that in this country there are overwhelmingly higher numbers of single parent black families FOR WHATEVER REASON. Many single parents are doing grand jobs of bringing up their children, but the statistics prove that delinquents tend to come from single parent families.

[TillieTrotter]

Natashangles, it ain't what you say my dear, it's the way that you say it. :(

[NatashaD]

Saccharine sweet aint my middle name TillieTrotter, but thanks anyway.

[Guest]

Have to disagree with you on this. I don't think anyone with two brain cells to rub together could interpret it as anything other than racist and hence derogatory.

[TillieTrotter]

Obviously not but it doesnt cost alot to try to be SLIGHTLY nicer to folk!

[Administrator]

NatashaD

The original poster (and post) was commenting on how the she had a racist comment directed at her and found it offensive, and it has come to you telling her to "GET OVER IT". You may not be aware that this is out of order but I am telling you again that it is. Please restrain yourself.

[NatashaD]

Ms B, I have not said the comment WASN'T racist. I apologise for saying 'muffintop' has a 'massive chip', as I can see how the comment has been misconstrued. It was in reference to to some of the rather aggressive responses (my opinion) I have recived from this poster on other threads.

Of course this comment about 'pretty for a black girl' was sexist and racist, and therefore inappropriate.

[NatashaD]

Yes administrator. 'Get over it' was a rather blunt thing to say. I apologise.

[KalamityKel]

There there NatD come have a :)-D or two :))

[NatashaD]

KalamityKel, I have had a few last night and am feeling tha rather ill effects of it this morning!:-S

But appreciate the sentiment - even though it is rather early in the day for me.

[KalamityKel]

rubbish! tis never too early and is the cure to ALL things :))

:-$ did I just type that? ::o

[VeryBerryCherry]

Muffintop,

I think there must be something going on with people on trains at the moment. It could be an epidemic (;-))

I was on a train yesterday and was chatting to a guy who'd been at Glastonbury too, working as a steward. All going nicely and then he started to tell me how he was surprised at how few thefts there were at Glasto this year considering Jay Z was playing!!!

I sat there open-mouthed (caught a few flies too) while he explained how he thought Jay Z and "his sort of music" would bring in more black people and (obviously) this would men that there would be more thefts as a result!

Once again, I really didn't have a clue how to react to this. I wanted to say something smart and funny and put him in his place, but nooo, could I utter a word?

[SeanMacGabhann]

that's shocking VBC!

Then again, if someone had said the same about Happy Mondays I would have shrugged and probably thought "yeah,fair enough"

[VeryBerryCherry]

Ha ha ha!

funnily enough, You have reminded me of something else that was said during this conversation. It's not so much about racial slurs as about negative stereotypes in general. He was a seasoned Glastonbury-er and was saying that the new fencing was great too because it kept all the theiving scousers out!

Maybe i'm too naive and need to change my rose-tinted contact lenses to a cold hard shade of reality-blue. But I really find these stereotypes so abhorrant. Yes, we share similarities with people, whether it's colour, sexuality, nationality, hair colour. But above and beyond all of that we are all different people, with indiviudal thoughts, beliefs, styles, attitudes etc... Why pigeon-hole people when you can invest a little more time getting to know them and see how interesting and different people's live are.

(There's a crackly vinyl playing Loius Armstrong's It's a Wonderful World" in VBC rose-tinted world right now)

[SeanMacGabhann]

How odd - as I was "aaaht aaaht" last night at the Herne I taped a bunch of stuff on BBC4 - part of which is Nick Cave and Shane MacGowan singing the very same song and was playing just 5 minutes ago. Spooky

But otherwise - absolutely, everything you say etc. (hmmm.. I seem to recognise how inarticulate I am this morning and yet I'm unable to actually correct it)

[Guest]

Sorry, Tillie, wasn't disagreeing with you but with Natashad on her 'it's your opinion' point to Muffintop, but somehow rather slow on the draw and two posts got in before mine.

Agree about being nice to people though, of course. I actually deleted some more obviously frustrated comments from my post for just that reason before I sent it!