The dark side of the forum. (stupid, aggressive "we'll ruin you on the EDF" comments)

[StraferJack]

Sue is in the 10000 club. I had no idea. Good work

[Sue]

StraferJack Wrote:

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> Sue is in the 10000 club. I had no idea. Good

> work

xxxxxx

Hey, I only found it existed about ten minutes ago in the Lounge! :))

[Alex K]

20 October, 2010, when you twice used asterisked obscenity to attack me as a poster.

***

My case is -- you post CEASELESSLY. You monitor, chide, contradict, and rebuke across all aspects of the forum, and you do so all the time. What breathing space do you leave to other people?

To be tagged as a member of the ten-thousand-club should, I think, cause one to ask herself -- Am I simply loud? Do I offer more opinions than I have thoughts? But you seem to glory in how much noise you have made.

In my eyes, your postings above are characteristic of the lack of insight for which I initially took you to task.

But, that said: A perception of mine, nothing more.

[Sue]

Eh?

I am asking for examples.

You've given one , from nearly three years ago, which you haven't even posted up here - with the context, as presumably I was responding to a post or posts from you - so that people can make up their own minds.

You must have searched for hours to find that one. I hope you think it was time well spent.

It seems to me - judging from your very personal attack on me on this thread - that you, ironically, are a prime example of the kind of low-level bullying that makes some people fearful of posting on this forum.

Unlike you, I am "out" on the forum. Many people know who I am in "real life", as I am half of http://www.thegooseisout.com

If you have an issue with me, you can come and find me easily and have an adult discussion with me face to face, instead of childishly insulting me on here.

Meantime, I will continue to post about whatever I like, as much as I like and however I like - including (recent posts) abour a fox in my garden, thanking people for suggesting London-based activities for my grandchildren's visits, defending the existence of SE22 magazine, and promoting the Goose community and other music events.

Why shouldn't I post on here? I have lived here for over twenty years and clearly have an interest in what goes on in the area.

[unlurked]

Zebedee Tring Wrote:

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> There was someone who used to post regularly who

> was an intellectual bully, who regarded himself as

> superior to most other posters and who always had

> to have the last word. Happily I haven't read him

> recently on the MB. I hope that his absence is

> permanent.

>

> This may be the same person as the one mentioned

> by other posters.

I agree. H was a bullying poster much of the time, and he was always joined by 2-3 regular posters whenever and wherever he posted. Maybe they supported H for fear of being bullied themselves.

[StraferJack]

You name the names unlurked and I will be able to show you many many threads were that is the opposite of true

[StraferJack]

In fact tht kind of lazy, wrong and damaging accusation is worse than pretty much anything people like H are accused of

[numbers]

LondonMix Wrote:

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> Yes though I think earlier in the post others were

> referring to U...

that was my thinking too LondonMix!

anyway, on the subject of the venerable H, I had my fair share of run-ins with him. He could be breathtakingly rude at times but I feel the place lacking without his intelligent and humorous contributions (am i really typing this?). Just goes to show if you can see past the sometimes arsey posts, there were helpful contributions too.

A bully though? Never.

[Alan Medic]

For someone who has lurked, old 'unlurked' has certainly come out all guns blazing. Makes me wonder given the lack of a shy disposition who you were in a previous lifetime?

[steveo]

Huge Nut never made me laugh I must say.

He did know when he'd gone too far sometimes but then he'd retreat into, 'I'm just one of the chaps joshing' mode, rather than apologising.

But nothing on here is like Urban75, which can get brutal

[Otta]

StraferJack Wrote:

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> In fact tht kind of lazy, wrong and damaging

> accusation is worse than pretty much anything

> people like H are accused of

Word!

[unlurked]

Bullying and harrassment whether on-line or not is about the perception of the perceiver. Thats what counts. I would suggest 'chasing' someone around the forum on different threads/demanding answers from posters/posting immediately in response to a particular poster all of the time/belittling posts/joining other clique posters in same behaviour to a poster are all examples that may constitute bullying and a posters perception of being bullied.

[giggirl]

People who use the forum to complain about local businesses can often find themselves shot-down by other forumites who are happy customers of that business. I suppose if someone has genuine cause for complaint then we want to hear about that, but I think most people on here can rise above the petty posting that occasionally goes on.

I don't think any local business should allow themselves to be bullied by someone who threatens to post a bad review on the forum. Bullies should always be stood up to.

I find false recommendations worrying. People who join the forum just to rave about a particular service and then, surprise surprise, they never post about anything ever again. I would go so far as to say that if someone recommends a business and it's their first ever post on the forum, ignore the recommendation and assume it is false. Cynical, I know, but there we are. By the same rule of thumb, I'd take a complaint about a local business from a first-poster with a pinch of salt.

[sheemy]

StraferJack Wrote:

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> "being set upon by the forum bullies."

>

> has anyone compiled a list of who the bullies are?

H has already been named but I think the others are

O

S

E

K

.....they have been known to operate as a pack.

[sandnot]

Andy, I tend to ignore these types of posts and make my own mind up , ignore them, they are idiots!

[aquarius moon]

Sheemy,

Really?

This being your 2nd post, how do you know anything about the forum?

Me, being a regular & having some idea of who you might be referring to......

I can guarantee that none of them are bullies. Neither was H !

[sandnot]

Are you referring to me?

[StraferJack]

Sheemy. Don't be shy.. What's with the fourth grade coyness?

Sandnot. Probably a cross-post-timing thing but looks like the post was addressed to sheemy not you

It is odd that someone who has "never posted before" would suddenly start posting on a thread, with accusations and allegations against hinted names isn't it?

[aquarius moon]

sandnot Wrote:

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> Are you referring to me?

I'm pretty sure he/she wasn't referring to you.

He/she is misguided anyway, so I wouldn't worry about it!

[HonaloochieB]

StraferJack Wrote:

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> Sheemy. Don't be shy.. What's with the fourth

> grade coyness?

>

None on my part. Sheemy's a dolt. Ignore.

[sandnot]

Ok, i have had a Long drive so probably didn't read the posts properly.

But thank you anyway

[sheemy]

I am a regular observer of the posts, debates and arguments on this forum.

I have been watching this forum for the nearly a year. I do not post as frequently as you but this is my perception from what I have seen.

I am not sure about H, he is not the first person that came to mind for me but Strafer Jack suggested a list and I am adding to it.

I think bullying should be called out, sometimes people don't realise they are doing it. I don't think there is any harm in this as I think it is not an accusation against anyone.

If you think that the initials above refer to you then you might want to think about your behaviour.

-------------------------------------------------------

> Sheemy,

>

> Really?

>

> This being your 2nd post, how do you know anything

> about the forum?

>

> Me, being a regular & having some idea of who you

> might be referring to......

>

> I can guarantee that none of them are bullies.

> Neither was H !

[maxxi]

sheemy Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I am a regular observer of the posts, debates and

> arguments on this forum.

>

> I have been watching this forum for the nearly a

> year. I do not post as frequently as you but this

> is my perception from what I have seen.

>

> I am not sure about H, he is not the first person

> that came to mind for me but Strafer Jack

> suggested a list and I am adding to it.

with intials? adding what apart from speculation?

>

> I think bullying should be called out,

so have the courage of your convictions and name names.

Huge was often forthright, sometimes patronising/superior, sometimes dismissive and cynical, sometimes humorous but was never a bully and far from having a coterie of acolytes often faced regular posters ranged against him in his various posturings.

[sheemy]

I have not named H, but others on the thread have. I cannot think of any bullying I have witnessed from Huge in particular.

Yes speculation is sometimes a good thing. The people I am referring to know who they are and might just think about whether their behaviour can be perceived as bullying by others. I think this will be a good thing all round.

[StraferJack]

A phrase springs to mind when encountering someone like sheemy

I will give you the first letters of the phrase

S

R

P

Sheemy will know what it means but

if you can work it out then I'm afraid you might want to have a long, hard think about yourself