Raising 'high energy' children

[Belle]

As mum to two boys who could certainly be described as 'high energy', I found myself for the billionth time yesterday looking on a little enviously in a setting where my nearly 2 year old would ideally have remained seated, and just WOULD NOT sit still but wanted to run and run, and all around I could see kids his age sitting/standing near parents quietly. This happened with my older son and things only improved when I just accepted that this was who he is, plus of course he just got older and can now be trusted not to run off across Peckham Rye Common (most of the time!). I've been googling this morning and found this, which I thought might be comforting to anyone in a similar position!

http://www.themotherhuddle.com/raising-a-high-energy-child/

Despite having been 'that mum' once already, i'd forgotten all over again that we are not alone!

[melbourne groover]

You are definitely not alone...;-)

[Saila]

.

[Strawbs]

I have a child that is definitely high energy and I know exactly how you feel! Sitting down for lunch is impossible, visiting friends is almost impossible, we had an appt that lasted about 5 mins recently and within 2 my partner had to leave with him as he just could not be still, quiet or calm so royally kicked off.. We are in the park 3 times daily just to let him run around. He won't sit and read books etc and I just figure he is very sprited and needs to run off his energy. I will be starting him in baby football and baby rugby soon..

Ill give your link a read. X

[Strawbs]

Brilliant read! She describes my son to a tea..

[womanofdulwich]

top tip- take them to a squash court when they are about 5 -you can hit the ball - assuming you are any good so that they have to run around its pretty good at tiring them out- only last until they are about 10 and start beating you.....

[snowboarder]

My trouble is my 4 yr old is STILL like this. He still runs off whilst his little brother dawdles and lingers behind, and I don't know which one to stay with. I lost him once (well, many times, but this was the worst) in the Horniman aquarium...he did return...with a pencil he had 'borrowed' from the shop. AAAARGH - the shop is about 3 floors up and by the main entrance.

It's all very well letting it be, but I feel generally that my eldest is inches away from danger most of the time (roads/crowds etc) and he is fearless in these situations.

Am hoping school will help?!? (please god...)

[Belle]

Snowboarder, J still sometimes does this to test me, usually when he knows I can't do much about it as looking after T. Awful and can be so scary. He has run off into the undergrowth at P Rye Park before when I've had T in the buggy - genuinely horrible dilemma of who to stay with. I agree, could do with some more practical tips about how letting it be might work, the woman who wrote the blog sounded like in that instance a friend held the baby so she could indulge him by letting him run around the zoo, but would love to know how to apply it in everyday life. Today I took my almost 2 year old to the park and thought ok, we'll let you go wherever you want. But that's only feasible for a small part of a weekend, not something can do normally.

Squash court - yes, or maybe trampoline!

[Ondine]

We have a v funny story DD1 wrote when she was about 5 and learning to ride her bike. She was crashing into a lamp post snd I was sitting on the garden wall with ill DD2 leaning on me. It goes without saying I saved them both!

[bluesuperted]

Love the blog post B, thanks for sharing! You are so not alone!

[Yak]

I would love to hear tips from others who have high energy children. My basic approach is to treat my boy a bit like a puppy - regular sleep, food and vast amounts of exercise - but that doesn't always work!

[womanofdulwich]

Drumming

Football, rugby, gym, swimming, tennis, squash, hockey, badminton, ,running,

chasing balls, catch, balloon chasing, cycling ( very good at Herne Hill track ( and rollers too), triathlons are the best though!!

Mini obstacle races in the garden, table tennis, basket ball hoop.

The thing with the ball on a piece of a string when you whack it at each other- oh and boxing- because the training is second to none as a workout( Luckily that did not last too long).

If anyone can think if a career for this teenager- which is not sports or the armed forces- please let me know.

I thank you.

[Mens]

er...no school doesn't solve it Snowboarder.. Although they tend to be able to sit still whilst at school...(sometimes)!

I am finally able to sit down this evening after yelling for 20min at my 5 year old to "go to bed"....she had to do "just one more cartwheel before bed"...ended up being about 30 cartwheels! I felt dizzy just watching her!! Lol

[spanners45]

Mine definitely fit into that category of high energy; a 3 year old and a 1 year old (and one more on the way). My approach is also food, sleep and plenty of outdoor time but I sometimes think I need to redirect the focus of the 'outdoor time' because a run around the playground/scoot in the park/even Gambados doesn't seem to cut it each time, especially for the 3 year old. He is a very happy, friendly and sociable boy but he has oodles of energy and sometimes it is hard to know what to do with it all. The 1 year old is much easier, but then he is much younger although he is already displaying 'high energy' skills!

I sometimes think I am failing our older boy a bit because I don't quite know how to engage his energy in a successful way: in a way that will mean FUN but will also be a good outlet for all that energy running through his body. I absolutely LOVE his thirst for adventure, his energy (if only I had half of what he has!) and how he is able to enjoy life so much but I want to make sure I am doing my best and that I am not just constantly on his back and 'managing' him if that makes sense through time outs/naughty steps, etc.

Activities we do include footie at Jags and tennis sometimes (not counting parks, soft play, etc). Does anyone know of any martial arts classes for little ones? I would love to hear from anyone with ideas for activities that have worked with their kids.

[Belle]

I've looked into this in the past b ut the ones I've found haven't worked for us timings-wise - think there's one which runs at the Albrighton centre possibly, if you do a search for tae kwondo on here it should come up. I think martial arts are perfect for this kind of kid. And totally relate to everything you're saying above by the way. I wish my son could just run it off in the park but it seems he needs more focus, more to occupy him as he gets older.

[QueenMab]

Ah yes. I was very pleased to read that, thanks for that link. I am also that parent who watches other children sitting obediently in their parents' laps and wondering how this miracle can be achieved and what I'm doing wrong.

I've decided that activities like library story time are a tiresome waste of time for us (he reads plenty at home). I am now focussing on activities for 2year olds that are not excessively structured and which enable maximum racing around wildly.

I must say a recent beach holiday was joyous, no roads, nothing sharp to collide with and acres of space for racing around with no requirement for me to provide any kind of input other than to just keep an eye on him.

But yes, he does sleep well at night, which is a blessing.

[Strawbs]

QueenMab - your beach holiday sounds like a dream!! I think we need one of those tbh..

I quite like dulwich park for my son to run around in as it feels less stressful as he can just run and run and Im not hovvering over him, we have stopped going to the swings at goose green as it is just so stressful there, he is running in to people / things etc and it just feels all a bit crowded.

He still doesnt sleep through the night at almost 2 and I wonder if it is because he is high energy, I would have thought the opposite tbh!!

I must say his nursery are very good with him and he gets extra dancing time / outside time as they know he is happiest when he is running about.

x

[midivydale]

An other high energy mum here! Son that is- not me.

Thanks, for that link Belle.

My son is the most beautiful, loving, cuddly little boy but man- he does not sit still. Ever!!

I find it hard at times, watching with envy as other toddler sit nicely with their parents on a blanket.

I have also had quite a few comments which, sensitve soul that I am I have taken to heart.

The "oh deary me, you have your hands full with him" really get to me at the moment.

Yes, he is wild but he is also the most happy, excited and curious little boy and ultimately he really seems to love and cherish life which really moves me. I adore and admire his so genuine excitement and willingness to explore the world. I find it really touching.

I too have stoped going to some of the activities I know doesnt suit him.

His childminder has been amazing with regards to his energy. She lets him

be who he is.

[Belle]

Contrary to the last, my younger son was a nightmare on a recent beach holiday - takes off down the beach, sounds fun - not in thirty plus degrees heat it wasn't, not after a big lunch especially ;) and weirdly at another beach he just wanted to run OFF the beach towards the little marina and/or roads/cars etc. Argh.

I basically need an enormous well fenced field. Finding P Rye picnic area quite good as allows scope to roam without the worry of completely losing him or him running into the stream or road (has tried, repeatedly). Dulwich Park I agree is great for running around, but i find with my 4 year old to keep (half) an eye on it's too hard. I'm quite looking forward to the elder one going to school next month so I can really let the little one go for it, to be honest.

Queen Mab, I too sometimes wonder what I've done/not done but 4.5 years on, with 2 children exactly like this, I've realised it's not me, it's definitely THEM!

[Anna27]

I read this thread with great interest! I have a 4 year old and a nearly 2 yearl old. Both are extremely high energy boys, although they have quite different personalities they match each other in terms of not sitting still or concentrating on something longer than 10mins, definitely a boy thing!

But I have also come to the conclusion now that the youngest is nearly 2 that its just who they are, there are 10 years between me and my brother and I clearly remember him being the same, he's a well rounded young man.

It makes life harder for me when it comes to activities/play dates etc. looking forward to the youngest having all my attention oncey eldest starts school in Sept, but will equally miss the crazy double duo sometime you have to embrace it! They are both so happy and fearless but also stubborn ( that quality they get from me) it's tough now but I feel that these qualities will help them later in life.

[Mellors]

Not only are my three children all like this, but they seem to all run in different directions ALL the time, without a care in the world for danger. Trees/streams/climbing/hanging off precipices - all just adventures.

I even managed to lose one once from the enclosed P Rye picnic area - was found eventually by a member of the public down by the outdoor fitness equipment. You know the stuff miles away - by the stream? AARGHHH.

I exercise them loads, like puppies. Our garden is full of swings, trampolines, paddling pools, bikes, obstacle courses. They also seem to need feeding constantly. All day, every day, and there is nothing of them. I am already considering a second mortgage just for the shopping bill when they are teenagers.

I have no idea as to answers, but I have learnt to avoid stressful situations (lunch out where they *have* to sit down, kids music classes, any public transport which lasts a long time and where people will tut at me etc) and play to their strengths - camping trips, Beavers for the oldest, forest schools, walking to school, football, park, climbing, swimming etc. I take heart in the fact that I was like that and my mother still seems almost sane...

[midivydale]

Just thinking, maybe a high energy child meet up in the park? Now that would be an idea:)

[Belle]

Was thinking the same midivydale, though sense none of us would finish more than one sentence at a time before dashing off ;)

REally like those sentiments Anna27, and Mellors also v encouraging words, I had no idea there were so many of us :) My youngest has escaped a couple of times from the picnic area but not thankfully as far as the exercise bit, that is pretty impressive.

Totally agree best to avoid situations you know will be stressful. Somehow we still end up with a fair few of these, and my god they make me tear my hair out, but I'm getting better at saying no to people even if it seems rude. It's hard as I must admit it's tempting to give in to too much telly/iPad at home just to buy some peace, chance to get stuff done without thinking one of them may kill themselves if I look the other way. But I know that screen time is probably just exacerbating the problem. In terms of sleep, my first was on the whole a good and reliable sleeper and still needs 11-12 hours a night, though recently has been having bad nightmares which is another thread - but my second is nearly 2 and only just regularly sleeping through, and def needs less sleep than his big brother. So don't think there is a correlation.

This thread has made me feel much better!

[Strawbs]

This thread has made me feel not so completely alone! I thought about a meet up too but would we a actually get to speak? Haha..

We have a friend's BBQ to go to and mini strawbs will be the only child in a small garden with stairs out of the house and honestly besides a cafe or a pub I can't think of anything worse and I prepped my OH that we would drop in but when it got too much we were leaving to which I could then feel the frustration bubbling from my OH but I just reminded that it will be a hell of a lot worse when we are there!

Always happy to meet up if anyone ever needs to get the kids out of the house, we are up at 5 daily so normally at the park by 8.30 or else baby strawbs is climbing the walls!

[uptime]

I have one too. She seems to be fearless and loves climbing, running and jumping but asks to be carried if we have to walk anywhere! Very odd. If we go anywhere new, the first thing she says is 'outside?'. I don't think the 'unable to sit still and concentrate for longer than 5 mins' is just a boy thing, as we have the same issue (unless it's Peppa Pig). I'm home alone with her on Saturday and wondered if anyone had any info on soft play areas that might be open this weekend in Dulwich. I know about Gambados and Peckham Pulse but is there anywhere local and open during holiday time? Have already looked at edtots and couldn't find anything. And I can't face Dulwich Park again.