Bedtime Nightmare. Advice?

[colababe]

My child is coming up to 14 months, I am trying to wean him off breast feeding (advice for that please) but he co sleeps with me, I breast feed him to sleep and at the moment I'm rocking him in the night (but he's used to rolling over for milk) so is waking up very often. I want to move him into the cot but the side doesn't come off so wondered if its too early for a toddler bed? He HATES the cot he will scream everytime (yes I have tried to make him play in it) but is not working. My partner doesn't stay around much so it's just me on my own and when I rock him I feel it frustrates him as he can smell the milk.

PLEASE. I need ideas and plans as I have no idea where to start?!?

[canela]

my sister did this around the same age and switched breast for bottle, which seemed to be pretty hassle free. he may accept the cot if he has something to suck whilst he?s there. good luck.

[colababe]

Any advice? Any book recommendations? ANYTHING?!

[espelli]

I agree with what canela has said - inroducing a dummy (or my son sucks the ear of his bunny toy) may help him to get the comfort from sucking to help him off to sleep and to resettle him if he wakes in the night. If my son stirs now I just put bunny's ear to his mouth and he calms down instantly.

This book has been recommended as a gentle way to get a baby into a routine and supports co-sleeping http://www.amazon.co.uk/No-Cry-Sleep-Solution-Through-Foreword/dp/0071381392 although I haven't used it myself.

I'm afraid I haven't got any advice about weaning off breast feeding, although there have been some discussions on here in the past which may come up in a search. Good luck, I hope you get less broken nights soon!

[EmilyPie]

I was in a very similar situation. We went cold turkey in the night first, putting him in his cot instead of in our bed, telling him it was sleep time when he woke up, offering him water and leaving him to cry, with me or my husband going in after 2, 5, 10 minutes etc telling him we loved him but it was sleep time. It was horrible but it worked. Took about 2 weeks. Once that was sorted we tackled the feeding to sleep. I went out and my husband stayed with him, holding his hand until he fell asleep. That bit was surprisingly easy. We then moved on to the same routine as with the night time waking to get him to settle himself, which worked after 2 nights.not necessarily the best way of doing it but it did work. They're often a lot more adaptable than we think! Alternatively you could try giving him a bottle in the night and gradually reducing the amount you give/replacing with water. Didn't work for us as he wouldn't take a bottle and was also snacking most of the night rather than having a set number of decent feeds, but did work for some people I know.

Good luck, I remember how hard it is. It does get better eventually!

[Saffron]

Colababe, where you start depends on what you think will suit you and your LO, and how he responds to the new routine. If your LO has night time separation anxiety or other night time issues, illness, etc, then controlled crying techniques would not be recommended. If you do want to try CC techniques, I'd guess that you might benefit from having some profession support and planning since your partner won't be around to help. Nicola Watson comes highly recommended on this Forum for all kinds of sleep advice, though I've not used her.

I second the 'No Cry Sleep Solution' book for gentle ways to help your baby sleep, although we only had mixed success with it with Little Saff who has always been a difficult sleeper. We did also have some success with behavioural 'fade' techniques, which are sometimes called 'gradual retreat' methods. In our case we used a bottle and did a milk to water fade. There are different schedules for these, you can probably google one that works or searcg the library for sleep books. I'd also recommend 'The Good Sleep Guide'. xx

[tomo]

I successfully used Andrea Grace's Gentle Sleep Solutions book to help when I was night weaning my son at 11 months. I found it really helpful in terms of establishing exactly what I should do on night one, then night two etc. I reduced the amount of time I was breastfeeding him till it got down to a couple if minutes the put him down in his cot awake. I then used controlled crying when he protested, but you could use gradual withdrawal too. No advise on how to deal with his dislike of the cot, but I would imagine it's because he doesn't get to stay with you!

We have recently enlisted the help of Nicola Watson to help with chronic early morning waking. I'd highly recommend contacting her if you want specific advise for your situation. She's incredibly supportive. The key to any sleep training is to find a plan that you feel comfortable with and stick to it. Consistency is key! With time it will get better. Good luck!

[Smiler]

Dr jay gordon's method helped me at 12 months, night weaned but continued co-sleeping and feeding in the day. Took a week or so, first few nights were hellish and my husband did a lot of that! It's free online.

[shaunag]

I went cold turkey with my lo at night at 21 months. Have posted about this before; there is another thread you can search for with loads of advice on it for night weaning. My lo wouldn't take a bottle or dummy and was dairy free so I felt she had a particularly raw deal, but they were our circumstances. A lot of crying on both sides night one, less on night two little waking night 3 and sleeping like a log all night (once finally asleep) after a week. She did still love going to sleep with her head on my tummy though; I firmly believe it is a comfort/closeness thing for them by that stage (and prob from about a year but don't remember). We still struggle to get her down at night though. She went into a big bed at two; you could try going to a toddler bed rather than a cot. I still sleep on a bed next to my lo; she sleeps well but if I sneak out she does notice and gets scared on her own. Will have to change soon as no 2 will be here soon, but we will figure if out when I go on mat leave (I'm going very early so will have time)! It is really hard, but once you get through the night wean you will all get much much more sleep. And your lo will stay as very close to you as before. Best of luck. Xx

[colababe]

Thankyou all so much - feels so good not to be a voice in the dark! i've bought the no cry sleep solution but will buy the others

i dont really want to intodruce him to a dummy as i ont think i could bare him getting over it again - also he doesnt take a bottle :(