How did your nursery go about potty training?

[srisky]

I've been potty training my daughter for just over a week during which time we were either at home or on holiday. We went cold turkey on daytime nappies and used pull-ups at night and apart from the occasional accident, things have been fine with wees at least; slower progress with poos.

Today was the first day back at nursery, she wet herself and they put her straight into pull-ups. As far as I can glean, there seems to be no regularity with which they take her to the loo - they either ask her if she needs the loo or they take when another child needs to go. Being at such an early stage in potty training, I feel she needs extra support (esp as this is all new to her and she will be distracted with play etc) and going into pull-ups after one accident is a step backwards and, dare I say it, lazy on their part.

Am I justified in feeling this way or is the way it is done in nurseries generally? I will, of course, speak to them directly, but would value hearing other's experiences.

Thanks!

[oimissus]

in our nursery we supply the pull-ups, and each time we tried potty training (3 attempts in total, a week each time, final successful attempt we achieved over the christmas hols) we told them she was in pants, not pull-ups, so that's what happened at nursery too. No idea how often they took her, we did as you say your nursery did, just asked her or took her with me, didn't ever 'put' her on the potty. Usually put 3 or 4 changes in her bag each day.

Just speak to them. Do they think she's ready? I know our nursery had been taking Miss Oi to the loos with other children for quite a while before I attempted training her. I don't think it's the end of the world for her to go into pull ups once but ask what their policy is.

[Saffron]

How old is your LO?

If today was her first day back at nursery, how do you know what their overall approach will be?

I think you should just talk to them and let them know your concerns, but be prepared to listen to their opinions too. Xx

[jennyh]

I will watch this with interest as mine goes to the same nursery. We started potty training recently too and she was in pull ups last week (3 days in total) but I just had the impression they treated them as nappies with the same regular changes. When I asked about potty trips they said they had taken her once or twice a day but otherwise didn't really ask her, preferring to wait for her to tell them herself. That is fine but it is hard to make progress and get to that stage when they don't seem to be actively encouraging her to toilet train...

She had 4 nappy free days at home and only had one poo accident which I gather was because she couldn't find the potty. If she can see it or knows where to find it or asks me for it then its generally successful, my worry with nursery is that they can't see the potties and will play etc rather than focus on whether they need the toilet.

Happy to consider their opinion and will also be asking them how best to proceed as it seems a little difficult to go nappy free when its such a different experience in nursery.

[oimissus]

actually, I'm talking rubbish. We never did pull ups in the day, went straight from nappies to pants, so never had this confusion - we just said she's in pants now, and that was that.

[jennyh]

I did the same... Turned up saying she's in pants and hoping for the best but like srisky says, the first accident and she was put straight into pull-ups.

[srisky]

My daughter's 2.5y and this evening has been taking herself to the potty or asking for the loo unprompted. When in pull-ups she feels she has been given permission to not use the loo, also the sensation of a small leak of wee as cue to use loo/potty is lost. At nursery access to the loo/potty is not easy and, as Jenny says, being engrossed in nursery play means that she forgets to ask (hence the accident) or just does it in the pull-up. She is only 10 days into potty training so does need reminders about going to the loo. Incidentally, as per the last 2 posts, I said she is out of nappies and gave loads of spare underwear/clothes; they used their own supply of pull-ups.

As I said in my original post, I will be speaking to the nursery (and i will be listening to what they say(!), we have a good relationship and want it to stay that way)but just wanted to hear other's experiences as I am hoping the randomness of sometimes being in knickers and sometimes in pull-ups doesn't confuse her.

[etta166]

Quite a few of my friends have taken a week off nursery and work, gone cold turkey with nappies, and then returned to nursery with a pants-only approach. I've always thought that pull-ups were meant to be confusing for them and to make potty training harder, but then I don't know anyone who has actually tried them.

[Saffron]

We've done a combo of pull-ups and knickers, no confusion. But Little Saff is a bit older (3.5yrs). We've been offering potty and toilet since she was ~2yo, but always at her own pace which was a bit slow. She started nursery at 2.5yrs, and they suggested knickers during the day after she'd been there a month as she was able to use the toilets fine with classmates.

For the age group below hers at nursery, I've noticed that they keep extra potties handy when the older and younger groups are playing together.

What are the toilets like for the age group immediately above your LO at nursery? Will toilets be more accessible? Could your LO be moved up to the next group sooner? (My daughter was put with 3 to 5 yo group at 2.5 because she was so active and confident.) Or could the nursery keep a potty handy for her if toilets aren't easily accessed?

[srisky]

etta166 Wrote:

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> Quite a few of my friends have taken a week off

> nursery and work, gone cold turkey with nappies,

> and then returned to nursery with a pants-only

> approach. I've always thought that pull-ups were

> meant to be confusing for them and to make potty

> training harder, but then I don't know anyone who

> has actually tried them.

That's we did essentially - took the latter half of a week off which ran straight into a week's staycation i.e 10 days off nursery and only in knickers/naked during the day. As an added bonus, my niece who is dry day and night also holidayed with us, which provided further encouragement. The whole thing worked quite well. The difficulty is that potty training is a long process and accidents will happen over the next few weeks/months and my daughter needs to learn how to ask for the potty/loo when at nursery and the staff need to prompt her - I sort of feel pull-ups may slow or even reverse that learning process. She's very easy to communicate with and explain new skills to and has embraced potty training, so hopefully she won't be confused by it.

Saffron - thanks for the suggestions, I'll see what nursery staff say

and offer these ideas as suggestions if necessary.

Naively, I thought this would be the easy bit of potty training!!

[pommie]

i thought nurseries didn't take children unless they were toilet trained!

[Saffron]

No, I think legally they cannot exclude children over potty training issues. It's part of their duty of care.

[Belle]

school nurseries tend to say children have to be potty trained - so that's for kids age 3 and up. Even so, I think you can challenge this (am sure a regular poster had this issue in fact and may have posted about it). It's different with daycare type nurseries. My experience with a nursery school where my oldest went 2 mornings a week was that they were really suppoortive of potty-training - there was no mention of going back to nappies, and it so happened that several were potty training at the same time so they did a big sticker chart for them and trooped them all off to the toilets several times a day. From memory my son had a few accidents there and they just dealt with this in a very matter of fact way. I don't recall any poo accidents but am sure they'd have dealt with them the same way. I was very grateful for their support actually. I would absolutely talk to them and make your feelings known re how you want them to handle the potty training.

[oimissus]

Miss Oi wasn't dry until after she was 3 - no mention ever from nursery that she needed to get on with it. Much better, in my view, than those places which force a schedule on to children which in many cases results in potty training takes weeks or even months to be successful (i.e child dry in the day). Had a friend who's very advanced child wasn't allowed up to the next room at his pre-school (where he needed to be, developmentally) until he was dry - cue months of nightmare potty training. Ridiculous.

[srisky]

Thanks everyone for your input.

I spoke with the manager and my daughter's key worker and they are happy to keep her in knickers during the day and use pull-ups for naps. We only use pull-ups for overnight but I am fine with the compromise, as they can still be referred to as her 'bed-time pants'. Potty training is going fine, usually one wee accident a day, although none today - hoorah! - and she has long stopped asking for stickers for her reward chart after each wee/poo. As a bonus, she now says (very loudly) "clever mummy, you did a wee, well done!", whenever she come into the loos with me!

Incidentally, our nursery is a daycare nursery, taking children from 4 months-ish, so potty training is very much part of their role.

[mrs f]

Hey, just to add our experience, we went cold turkey on the sun & naively thought it ok to send c mon & tues am to nursery (a pre school type nursery) in hinsight I think he did pretty well- 5 accidents on mon & similar on tues but they ended up putting him in a nappy, but seeing as we were only one day in it wasn't bad, by the next week he was down to 1/2 accidents (&6 or so wees on the loo) per morn (which is more than he would have at home) but still pretty good considering the nursery setting etc...

If there are a couple of kids potty training at the same time that should make it a little easier almost to try & remember, they can take them together etc perhaps ?

Good luck!

[mrs f]

Hey, just to add our experience, we went cold turkey on the sun & naively thought it ok to send c mon & tues am to nursery (a pre school type nursery) in hinsight I think he did pretty well- 5 accidents on mon & similar on tues but they ended up putting him in a nappy, but seeing as we were only one day in it wasn't bad, by the next week he was down to 1/2 accidents (&6 or so wees on the loo) per morn (which is more than he would have at home) but still pretty good considering the nursery setting etc...

If there are a couple of kids potty training at the same time that should make it a little easier almost to try & remember, they can take them together etc perhaps ?

Good luck!

[Saffron]

Belle Wrote:

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> school nurseries tend to say children have to be

> potty trained - so that's for kids age 3 and up.

> Even so, I think you can challenge this (am sure a

> regular poster had this issue in fact and may have

> posted about it). It's different with daycare type

> nurseries. My experience with a nursery school

> where my oldest went 2 mornings a week was that

> they were really suppoortive of potty-training -

> there was no mention of going back to nappies, and

> it so happened that several were potty training at

> the same time so they did a big sticker chart for

> them and trooped them all off to the toilets

> several times a day. From memory my son had a few

> accidents there and they just dealt with this in a

> very matter of fact way. I don't recall any poo

> accidents but am sure they'd have dealt with them

> the same way. I was very grateful for their

> support actually. I would absolutely talk to them

> and make your feelings known re how you want them

> to handle the potty training.

If daycare-type nurseries and private pre-schools are accepting any early years funding from the government (ie free 15 hours) then they would be obliged by the same equality and disability legislation as school nurseries as far as I understand. This includes potty training. Children should not be discriminated against by holding them back developmentally due to toileting issues. But it seems not uncommon for nurseries to have different agendas.

[Saffron]

srisky Wrote:

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> Thanks everyone for your input.

>

> I spoke with the manager and my daughter's key

> worker and they are happy to keep her in knickers

> during the day and use pull-ups for naps. We only

> use pull-ups for overnight but I am fine with the

> compromise, as they can still be referred to as

> her 'bed-time pants'. Potty training is going

> fine, usually one wee accident a day, although

> none today - hoorah! - and she has long stopped

> asking for stickers for her reward chart after

> each wee/poo. As a bonus, she now says (very

> loudly) "clever mummy, you did a wee, well done!",

> whenever she come into the loos with me!

>

> Incidentally, our nursery is a daycare nursery,

> taking children from 4 months-ish, so potty

> training is very much part of their role.

Hey that sounds brilliant! Good luck!