New Drive Thru ATM machines

[jumpinjackflash]

Barclays are installing new Drive through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for

your gender.

>

> *******************************

> MALE PROCEDURE:

>

> 1. Drive up to the cash machine.

> 2. Put down your car window.

> 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

> 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

> 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

> 6. Put window up.

> 7. Drive off.

>

>

> *******************************

>

> FEMALE PROCEDURE:

> Unfortunately, most of this part is true !!!!

>

> 1. Drive up to cash machine.

> 2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window

with the machine.

> 3. Set parking brake, put the window down.

> 4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to

locate card.

> 5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang

up.

> 6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

> 7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its

excessive distance from the car.

> 8. Insert card.

> 9. Re-insert card the right way.

> 10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on

the inside back page.

> 11. Enter PIN.

> 12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

> 13. Enter amount of cash required.

> 14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

> 15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

> 16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.

> 17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in

back of chequebook.

> 18. Re-check makeup.

> 19. Drive forward 2 feet.

> 20. Reverse back to cash machine.

> 21. Retrieve card.

> 22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into

the slot provided!

> 23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

> 24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

> 25. Redial person on cell phone.

> 26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

> 27. Release Parking Brake.

[Brendan]

Yeah they tried to introduce these in Jo?burg a few years back. It presented a fabulous opportunity for you to not just get car-jacked but to have your bank account emptied at the same time.

Needless to say they didn?t really take off.

[bon3yard]

This stereotype=true. Dont do all your banking at the blinkin' ATM woman. Me I'm a Cashpoint Ninja.

[KalamityKel]

Any sensible woman wouldn't even bother going to a ATM for the purpose of withdrawing cash... Thats wot credit/debit cards are for right? OR as I'm sure DM would agree, significant other halves ;-)

[annaj]

Sorry to go on about it, but are we saying this kind of sexist drivel is fine, but I'm being called a misogynist on another thread for having an opinion?

Time for me to take a forum break to avoid an embarassing flounce off I think.

[KalamityKel]

It's only NOT fine if you have issues about such things Annaj ;-)

[jumpinjackflash]

Just to say that JumpinJackFlash is indeed herself a bird, sorry, female and I thought it was funny. If I thought it was sexist I wouldn't have posted it. Chillax!

[SeanMacGabhann]

Anyone with an email address sees these emails faaaaaar too many times - they come in both flavours tho, so I'm sure the equivalent male-as-hapless-idiot version could be found

wouldn't make it any funnier tho'.

I wouldn't call them anti-male or female.. (plenty of women I know have sent me the same email - including my sister - and found it hilarious for some reason)

"You know sticks? they're really brown they are.. and if they aren't wet you can set fire to them and they burn! Say what you like about stones, they don't do that!"

There are far FAR worse jokes on the jokes thread (which is where this should have gone btw)

[bon3yard]

Blimey, I've been found to be both a woman hater and a gay baiter today(and me a fully gay man n'all)...I was so full of hope when I got up this morning too! Maybe we should get the administrator to vet all postings for anything potentially inflammatory. I did mention something a little risque involving pets too...God, I'm a lost cause.

[Moos]

JJF and Sean - for what it's worth, I think this ancient joke is incredibly sexist, and not particularly funny. Not sure how you can interpret it as not sexist when our brave heroine is vain, stupid, badly co-ordinated, dizzy, careless and selfish.

But humour of course is in the eye of the beholder.

[KalamityKel]

Shame on you all! :p >:D<

hehe

[jumpinjackflash]

Time of the Month perhaps for some people today...

I (a woman) received that email from a woman who received it from another woman who..and it goes on..it's just funny and if you don't find it funny don't bloody read it

[Moos]

Wow, I was just about to edit my post (having re-read it) to say sorry, didn't mean to come across as arsey, and then read your reply.

It isn't a big deal if you want to post sexist jokes and sure, a woman can find a sexist joke funny. But my point was intended to say that whether it's funny or not it's definitely sexist. So - sorry to have put an (unintentionally) stroppy post.

But I do take offence at comments about time of the month. And as for 'if you don't find it funny, don't read it' that requires powers of insight I'm afraid I don't possess.

[Cassius]

Many jokes reinforce stereotypes - some are funny, others are not so funny. I don't mind them particularly - its not as if they are causing real offence or upset.

[SeanMacGabhann]

All that said it really didn't deserve a thread of it's own - funny or not

The jokes thread can be found:

here

As for humour and offence - it tends not to be something that can be argued with. If people find something funny and you or I find it offensive, no amount of arguing about "the joke" is going to change anyones mind....

[Asset]

I think saying "time of the month for some people" is sexist also actually, it implies that someone doesn't find that amusing due to hormones which is a load of bollox.

Bit difficult to know whether it is funny or not without reading it isn't it?

[KalamityKel]

Just out of curiousity (darn I'm well into stuff today!) JJF wot age bracket would you put urself in my dear? I only ask, now don't anyone go getting all humpfy about this, but I often find those of whom are in the "younger" groupings often don't tend to take these kind of things to heart whereas those maybe slightly older sometimes do. No no no no no I'm certainly not trying to make an issue out of this or over generalising in anyway (I hope) but IME I have found this to be so. AND no I'm not directing my observation at anyone in particular OR indeed see it as a general rule as I also know many others who wouldn't give a flying moustache either! :)

[Moos]

JFC, now I'm hormonal and old!

Think it's time for me to log off...

[Asset]

Many jokes reinforce stereotypes - some are funny, others are not so funny. I don't mind them particularly - its not as if they are causing real offence or upset.

I think that depends on the sterotype don't you? What about reinforcing the sterotype that Jews are tight, or that Irish people are stupid?

[Cassius]

Asset Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Many jokes reinforce stereotypes - some are funny,

> others are not so funny. I don't mind them

> particularly - its not as if they are causing real

> offence or upset.

>

>

> I think that depends on the sterotype don't you?

> What about reinforcing the sterotype that Jews are

> tight, or that Irish people are stupid?

Like I said some are not so funny - and I tend not to be on forums that post jokes about Jews being tight or Irish being thick so avoid the issue.

[jumpinjackflash]

Kalam Kel - I am 29 years young! You are right, maybe the younger lot don't tend to take these sort of things to heart although I think a lot of women my mother's age would still find it humorous (I think). Maybe it's because I work with a bunch of male stockbrokers (whose daily comments, opinions and general use of the English language would cause a cardiac arrest in a few of our forumites!) has made me immune to jokes like these. Either way, despite placing the thread in the wrong category (thanks Sean McG) I personally found it funny.

[KalamityKel]

I think it's possibly those in the middle JJF ;-) :)-D

[Moos]

I must be one of those 'in the middle', I guess, which means JJF hasn't got long.

Just to be clear - I didn't mean to tell anyone what they can and can't find funny but only to say I was surprised that anyone wouldn't find that joke sexist. However, my post did come across as a bit stroppy since I wrote it without re-reading it, and I was just coming back to change it when I saw there was already a reply.

Regardless of whether you think it's OK to post stereotype jokes, I don't think it's polite to accuse someone else of being hormonal because you don't share their point of view - and then to ignore a retraction.

[Cassius]

Actually KK - do you not think that sometimes it is the other way around - older people who have had the misfortune to grow up with Bernard Manning and the Black & White Minstral Show tend to be quite thick skinned about humour - whilst younger people tend to think with their PC hat a little more firmly on. Obviously another stereotyped view that will be shot down in flames but also an observation.......

[KalamityKel]

I think it does really depend on which age group and dare I say it "social background" too. I didn't want to get too deep into the whole thing and as is my habit I haven't made my point particularly clear, altho in this case I think it more deliberate as I know I'm likely to cause a lot more offense than I may have already which was/is certainly not my intention.

*shutting up now* :-$