"I've had enough of you lot, you're all...."

[SeanMacGabhann]

Lot's of people have, in the lifetime of this forum, declared:

"right that's it - I've had enough of you lot with your intellectual/liberal/mysoginistic/ridiculous/etc etc ways"

And whilst I'm sure many of them keep their promise, many people do seem to still be here. Why make so public a declaration and why come back? I'm not complaining about anyone coming back just curious what drives the thinking

[ratty]

Emotions run high sometimes. People act out very diffenrelt on a message board than they do in real life and it is easy to interpret people's opinions / views as something else when you cannot take in their non verbal signs too!

Also, the forum is, sometimes, a very valuable resource which must attract people back!

Personally I just slag people off then change my user name so no one knows it was me

Among my other user names are:

Keef

Mockney Piers

Dulwich Mum

Louisa

SeanMacGabhann

Ladygooner

????s

In fact I am the only person on this board and you all think I am different people!

Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrm???????

[MelbourneGr]

Although the statement says "you lot", im pretty certain they are referring to a select few.

[SeanMacGabhann]

maybe so MelbourneG - but why would that be? And am I right in assuming the few you are thinking are included in ratty's list?

Ratty - that was chucklesome

[Brendan]

Because it?s a local board for local people it isn?t that easy for people to just hide behind a username and be indignant with all and sundry. The people on here are the folks you share the bus with in the morning or wave to over your fence on a Saturday. It gives people a bit more respect for one another?s opinions than they would (I imagine) on another kind of message board.

Having said that you are all mostly wrong about most things most of the time. I?m just too lazy to get into it.

[MelbourneGr]

That was purely coincidence. It took me a few minutes to type that one-liner due to a phone call.

If there is a disagreement with a few people on one thread, that probably won't stop most from interacting on another thread with another group of people.

Like Ratty said, emotions run high sometimes. People cool down and come back.

[Bellenden Belle]

"But alas, I have better things to do with my time, so have clearly got the message - I hope you enjoy the "community" you have created here."

I blush reading my own statement from May 2007.... mmmmm, one year on I clearly don't have better things to do with my time - thank God!

[SeanMacGabhann]

ha - excellent BB! How endearlingly precocious... extra marks for self-quotation as well

[ratty]

PS My list was not meant to mean anything - just memorable names is all! ;)

[Bellenden Belle]

Precocious? Excuse me .... how very dare you - right that's it, I've had enough, I won't endure this a moment longer...

[Cassius]

"I'm off and therefore I want you to beg me not to go - pur-lease beg me not to go - oh ok then - I won't go I'll stay and piss you all off a bit more seeing that none of you even like me enough to beg me not to go"

[Annasfield]

I did it on the football thread and guess what? I'm still posting..... :-$

It's like a fix - I will get the sack one day.

[cdonline]

I reserve my right to flounce off and return as though nothing happened.

I think that one thread here has really got my goat and would rather express how I felt and have it out in the open, for others to agree or not. I do try to separate what somebody writes and comments as opposed who somebody really is.

Why come back? Becuase I enjoy it, it's local, it keeps me busy at work and I like slumming it with the hetties.

[SeanMacGabhann]

oooh cdonline - I don't remember you threatening to do "one"

I know the thread you did get upset in and agree it's better to express those concerns but I don't think you did a "Bellenden Belle" as we should now call it ;-)

[mockney piers]

he he. Weirdly, now that I know BB, I can't think of anyone less stroppy.

I've done some throwing toys out of the pram myself, always on a dreadful hangover, but I've not done an Home&Away*

"I thought you were different, but you're just like all the rest, I'm running away!!!!"

*See also Neighbours, Hollyoaks, Eastenders etc

[KalamityKel]

Apologies in advance for my ramblings and inconsistent comments - I get carried away and easily distracted and then lose my train of thought...

I think sometimes people get a bit carried away with the moment of a heated discussion (as already mentioned) and also forget this is an online forum and not, dare I say it, "real life". Yes I know for many on here it does or will effect the "real world" too (businesses, those who may be a bit of a local celebrity within the community etc) and so making a good positive impression of themselves is important and therefore when are cornered or pushed into a discussion that runs away with itself find it difficult to pull back and remain in favour. An easy way out of course is to quickly department whilst expressing a silly outburst of expression. One that one will always be remembered for ;-)

Returning to my thoughts on the whole "online thing". I have had many years experience with various online social networking things and this kind of thing always pops up. We all join groups such as this for different reasons - to meet new people, to become more involved in the local community, to escape the hassles of every day life etc. It is very easy to create a different world completely different from the one users exist in and so can have difficulty in distinguishing between what is "real" and what is not. Some forget that people have feelings and what one may think is a completely innocent comment to make while upset another. Many have said it before "I bet you wouldn't dare say that to Xs face" and for many they wouldn't but there are also some that would making it difficult again to distinguish what is appropriate and what is not. so saying harsh brutal things can be taken to heart by other unintentionally.

Communication through text is always a grrrr topic when things are easily miscontrued. How many times have any of you got completely the wrong end of the stick coz something hasn't been presented in the way you would like? Asking for clarification is helpful but also openmindedness and attempting to get an understanding of the way someone thinks and writes in necessary.

Of course you also get those who use these facilities for their own agendas. Maybe they have nothing better to do. Maybe not. Some may be thought as sad, lonely, those you should feel sorry for but I always try to think of it more as I wonder why they are like that. What really is their problem deep down that they choose to escape from it on here?

So why bug er off and vow never to return to come back shortly afterwards? It's an interesting thought... maybe the only answer is addiction? Attention seeking? Loneliness?

At the end of the day life is certainly too short for anger and arguments. Feel the love man!

[Keef]

At the end of the day, this forum probably does come across as a bit cliquey, and I'm probably amongst the guilty. However, there have been occasions when a new poster has been really shot down in a smug way, that has really annoyed me. I'm glad the likes of BB stuck with up though.

[SeanMacGabhann]

My reaction to any argument is to usually try and rationalise- this often means I don't take into account other's emotions at the time. But then again some people seem to run on emotions so finding the right time to talk about things rationally can be difficult

The reason I started this thread was because, in the course of various recent arguments, I had a look back at some people's posting history (you know the one - click on their name, view all posts by) to see what kind of person they are generally, whether I had argued with them before, whether we had shared views before etc (some people might call that OCD - I thought it was manners ;-) )

and I was surprised to see posts from early 07 from people I consider regulars who left in high dudgeon at some point

[RosieH]

I think flouncing's brilliant (although only really works if someone loves you enough to forgive you and not to remind you constantly of your shameful behaviour - I once flounced out of a game of ludo aged about 30 - my friends have forgiven though not yet forgotten)

I think it is possible to think that this forum is a bit cliquey in that respect, because it's really the people who bother to turn up to forum drinks and get to know and like each other who are most likely to say, "no wait, we love you, come back". So for me, not much flouncing opportunity to date, but I'm working my way up to drinks, after which I will look forward to flouncing and then creeping back in apologetic shame

[Cassius]

I haven't felt it on this forum, but on some others I visit and have been involved in quite heated arguments that I have wanted to leave, but in the end you put quite a lot of time and energy into being a regular poster, so it's best to cool off, ignore the forum for a while and then come back when feelings have cooled down a bit.

[Brendan]

There is always this argument. Say you are in the pub and there is a group of people chatting. They all have different views on a topic which are generating discussion and controversy. You feel that you have some valuable input and want to put a word in. You can:

1 ? Pipe up saying that they are all a bunch of idiots, you know better and further more you don?t like the way any of them are dressed or the accents they speak with.

2 ? Say, ?Hello, excuse me but have you thought of it this way??

Which do you think is going to get the better reaction?

Personally I think that option 1 is a lot more fun but don?t go crying to mommy if you aren?t up for the fight you started.

[SeanMacGabhann]

but as a clique is defined by being "exclusive" I can't see how it applies to this forum - there are people who post too much (hello me) and people who post infrequently and there are many in between and many who never post but just read

But "exclusive"?

How can anything that started as 4 men and a dog and now have several thousand unique views every day be "Exclusive"? It's expansion can only be because of it's inclusiveness I would say.

Many of seem to frequent other forums - any good examples of 1) cliquey or 2) more inclusive places I wonder?

[KalamityKel]

Where ever you are whether it be online, socially or at work you will always get groups that seem to be "cliquey" - meaning that there are those who feel there's "popular" crowd where they may not fit in.

I personally don't see it here but, through general experience, I can understand how/why others may make that assumption. At times I see an overall point of view that I may not agree with which may give off the impression of a "clique" - if you don't agree you are outcast kind of thing, (yes yes I know this is not the case. I'm just expressing how others may percieve it) and so guess other that those who are not "regular" contributors may think on these ocassions a set group exists.

A forum is what you choose to make it. If you want to get involved get involved...we all like to express our views, socialise and all that :)

[RosieH]

quite so - Sean I don't mean that it IS cliquey, more that it can be perceived that way because there are people who have actually bothered to get to know each other, who clearly like each other and enjoy each other's company and share jokes (often about drinking too much at forum get togethers which is all to the good).

That's a nice thing, but to people who haven't been to forum drinks / curry night / book club etc it can seem that there's a gang they're not a part of - through their own choice of course by not attending any of the aforementioned evenings - but I do think that flouncing is more acceptable within your own gang and wonder how that plays out on here

[Bellenden Belle]

RosieH Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I do think that flouncing is more acceptable

> within your own gang and wonder how that plays out

> on here

As a flouncer, I have to say I flounced when very much an outsider on the forum... I think it was literally one of my first ever threads... and actually what made me come back was the fact that even during the debate there were enough people who made me feel welcome. And yes, I did get lovely pms from people saying Come Back - which really were no reflection on myself, because I was a stranger to everyone at that point, but instead reflected the fact that many people on this forum really care about it being an inclusive place, rather than a clique.