CPR

[Toby]

What is happening with the police on CPR?

[uncleglen]

Are there moves afoot for them to resuscitate on the spot (especially given the increased use of tasers)?

[Simon Cyrene]

Found this thread a long long time ago, but we decided not to comment until we felt the time was right. Now, two years to the day, and appropriately with this on page 108, and soon to leave our family home behind, thought we would enlighten you.

Toby, what was happening? We had been unable to contact our Mother for a couple of days, and my sister upon arriving with her young daughter could not get in, due to the front door being chained up. Nobody passing in the street and going into nearby houses came to her assistance despite hearing her frantic shouts through the slightly opened door. So much for the great community spirit. She had to call the Police as fear and trepidation had set in and with good reason. Our Mother had suffered a massive heart attack and had passed away. I see from your "history" more concern for a car mirror than your neighbours. Not surprising, seeing as you are an estate agent.

Uncleglen, turns out to be a wholly inappropriate comment really, about resusitating, wouldn't you agree. Yes/No?

It is believed Mother had been dead for a couple of days. It is truly regrettable that the big lunch community party that had taken place the previous day (Sunday) and purporting to be an event that particularly catered for the young and old,which Mother had always attended and supported, had not had the organisers knock on her door enquiring after her welfare,even though Mother was the longest permanent resident of the street (78 yrs.) now that really would have shown community spirit.

So now you know.

[KidKruger]

Simon, I am sorry to hear about your Mother's passing which under any circumstances will always be traumatic.

To find the door chained like that and not being able to gain access must have been awful.

People do post on this forum with a little humour / tongue in cheek and I'm sure, with knowledge of even a hint of the circumstances, would perhaps have worded it differently. But they didn't know.

The street party organisers that I know (I was involved two years ago) are very nice people and I'm sure there was no intentional oversight on their, or your mother's neighbours part.

A lovely old lady lives opposite me on CPR, she has lived in the house all her life and never moved away or got married. She's getting frailer by the year and although I do pop over to fix leaks, change bulbs and help with the odd repair, she is a staunch loner. She won't come over for a cup of tea to sit in the sun or at Xmas for a sherry. I bring her pies and she gives me cooking apple from her tree, but there's definitely a 'line' with her that one cannot cross and that's entirely her choice which I respect.

If she passed (which she will) her brother, who lives outside London I believe, may conclude her neighbours were negligent or didn't care, which wouldn't be accurate.

The reason I'm saying this is the situation may not have been as neglectful as you portray, sometimes older people are extremely independent and being so old, with most of their peers having already died, prefer their own company.

Of course, I didn't know your mother, so I could be entirely wrong, but sometimes there's a brighter truth to the impression one has received.

The lady I speak of, Evelyn, has lived there for 83 years and is I believe the longest continuos resident of the street - but it wouldn't surprise me if there's someone been here longer as people live so long these days.

[Jeremy]

Sorry for your loss Simon, but the blame you are directing at the neighbours is misplaced and unfair.

[Otta]

Not without sympathy, but that post is completely out of order.

[Simon Cyrene]

KidKruger,that's nice to hear. Think our Mother might have known her, we can remember her talking of an Evelyn. Please don't take this the wrong way, but make sure you continue to do this. Where I live, outside of London in a small village, we all look out for each other regardless of age.For example, we organise Xmas lunches paid by us for the older folk. They in turn look out for others property when out at work all day. It is a proper community, looking out for each other.

Jeremy, we are not putting blame on neighbours, nothing could have been done, that is why we have deliberately allowed a passage of time before replying, otherwise it would have looked exactly like that, misplaced grief. The point is you, that is to say the royal you, seem to feel there is a great helpful caring community spirit, but people walked on by with their heads held down hoping not to be noticed at a time of need. I do realise this is the way of the world in a large city nowadays.

Anyway, thanks to you both for replying, we shall not post on here again, but felt it polite to reply to your replies. You will see from our history that we have generally used the forum to assist in the disposal of furniture. Our few other contributions you will also see has been to try to help others. Subject matter almost always descends into I know best my dads bigger than your dad school children behaviour, and when this is pointed out stifling free speech seems to be quoted. This subject WILL go that way because it ALWAYS does. No, don't think so, just look at Otta post above.

[Otta]

You obviously feel quite bitter, but you can't possibly know that no one knocked on your mum's door and when there was no answer, assumed she was out. And equally, had people knocked every day she may have felt they were harrasing her. I spent years working with older people and a lot of them don't want to be bothered.

Had your mum been left for a number of days then perhaps you'd have a point that a neighbour should have raised alarm, but according to your post you "had been unable to contact our Mother for a couple of days". You had felt there was no need to run around there immediately, so why expect more from the neighbours?

I was not being nasty to you, but I felt your post was needlessly aggressive. The OP simply asked what was going on, and they were not to know. There was no need to have a dig at them.

Uncleglen's comment was inappropriate, but uncleglen's comments usually are.

I take your point about the "community spirit" thing though, it's largely a load of old bollocks. But then the bloke that lives next door to my parents will do things for them like clearing their gutters. With neighbours it's simply luck of the draw.

Anyway, I am sorry for your loss. I don't think I know best, or that my dad is bigger or smaller than anyone else's dad. I just thought there was no need for the tone of your post.

[red devil]

It's a bit disingenuous to draw comparisons with a rural village. However, compared to other parts of London, IMO ED and it's environs does have a better local community spirit and feel to it...

[uncleglen]

Perhaps the OP should have titled it CPRd then I would not have misinterpreted. I have a medical background ffs

[Jeremy]

I don't recall anyone claiming ED was some sort of special close-knit community. It may have a "community feel" thanks to a thriving high street and the occasional street party, but it's still London. Lots of people only stick around for a couple of years. Even the ones that stay longer often only get to know a handful of their neighbours. Your criticism is misguided.

[MrBen]

You can wind this one up quite nicely with a general point...that if there is someone elderly or frail on your street then it's a reminder to keep a look out for them.

Simon - I'm sorry for your loss and the circumstances.

[civilservant]

hi, Simon, I am one of the folk who organise the street party. I and the others who were involved, such as KK, were (and still are) shocked and sorry to hear about your mother.

We started up the street party in the hope of building community spirit, and it has indeed brought some of us together. But I certainly wouldn't claim that it has built the kind of caring community that you've got in your village. For most people it's just something that someone organises on their street. I actually find it quite galling to see how estate agents have used it to add interest and "local colour".

We work hard every year to be as inclusive as possible of everyone on CP Road, but a few of the older folk on the road prefer not to engage with the street party and it's hard to tread the line between intrusion and inclusion. In all honesty, I am not sure what we could have done on the day, given that we didn't know your mother personally. I can only hope that your sad experience reminds people that they need to look out for their neighbours - it's a lesson that I will certainly bear in mind.

[Sue]

Simon Cyrene Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

We had been unable to

> contact our Mother for a couple of days

I am very sorry for your loss, Simon, but I think it is somewhat unfair to lay the blame at neighbours' doors here.