Leaving child abroad with grandparents for a few days - would you do it?

[Ole]

We are going to my visit my parents in Spain for the bank holiday which tags on to the half term week, and it turns out that my nephews (aged 14 and 7) are also going to be there (and my brother too) for the whole week, so my father is taking the whole week off work to be with them. We were due to fly back to London on the monday bank holiday but I am tempted to let my son (aged 3.5) stay on for the rest of the week rather than flying back with us. I would fly back the following weekend to pick him up. He loves spending time with his cousins and since my father is taking the week off work anyway because of the other grandchildren being there. I can't take off the whole week so I have to fly back to London for work. I have never had a night away from my son so part of me is saying 'absolutely not' but the other part of me is saying that he will be with his grandparents, two cousins and uncle so surely there is nothing to worry about and I could do with a few days to 'myself'? I know that my son would love to and I haven't asked him because I don't know if I dare let him stay if he says that he wants to. What would you do? My parents would be delighted if I let him stay in Spain with them a bit longer and his cousins thrilled too. I will feel a bit spoilsport if I do't let him and bring him back to London whilst his cousins stay on, but I have never had a night away from him and it being a different country etc etc.....

[treehugger]

If he is a calm and sensible child, he will be fine. If he is more sensitive and "unsteady", it might be too early. Are you concerned about him or yourself? If the latter, then let him stay. if the former, probably too much of a challenge. There are bound to be other opportunities...

[Pickle]

I would - as you say, he will be with his grandparents, it will be a lovely time for both them and him.

[Ole]

Well, I just remembered that his other UK cousins are coming to London to stay with us the second half of the half term week, so he can't stay in Spain after all! Just as I was getting used to the idea of a few days to myself..... hmm, at least now I know how I feel and that I would be happy to let him stay on because feeling slightly deflated rather than secretly relieved. Next time then. Sorry for wasting people's time with long post!

[Otta]

I'd leave my kids with a stranger if it gave me a bloody break!

[JessM]

Would they like a dry run with my kids?!!

[Ellie78]

Ha Otta & JessM - you got there before me.

We actually left our son with his grandparents when he was 9 months. For a week.

This wasn't something we had planned, and I completely understand why you're torn - we were too - but we had limited choices. My partner and I were both quite ill and weren't really able to parent - having said that, we did recuperate on holiday so we managed to get to an airport.

I talked to a friend of mine who was a mum and baby psychiatrist, in a massive panic about attachment issues etc. She basically said that it would be hard on all of us in some ways, but good for all of us in other ways. She didn't come back to me with a 'no way should you do this' response, which I kind of was expecting - she basically encouraged us to go on the basis that we needed the rest.

And it was. I found it difficult for a little bit, but he was remarkably resilient and happy (erm...kind of embarrassingly so..). He did miss us, but not so much it hampered his enjoyment of spending time with his grandparents who he adores. And the one missing mum and dad related teary episode he had, his grandparents were able to reassure him with cuddles with very little difficulty.

We were in a different country too - we just decided that if things were bad, we'd come home, no worries.

Honestly, it was the best thing for us and his grandparents - get this - thanked US when they brought him home. They found it an incredibly special time.

So...we did it, slightly different situation with ages etc, but we found it absolutely fine. You know your child, you know deep down whether he'll be ok.

I'd do it.

[Ellie78]

I should say that I completely understand why some people wouldn't do what we did - it's so down to the context and individual child. But I was 99.99999% sure he'd be ok, and I was absolutely set on coming home straight away if he wasn't.

[Chillaxed]

If my Mum and Dad lived in London I'd be leaving my son with them every other weekend!

[MGolden]

Chillaxed Wrote:

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> If my Mum and Dad lived in London I'd be leaving

> my son with them every other weekend!

Do you know they would have him?! ;)