does your baby fall asleep on you whilst you are breastfeeding....

[steffie]

My baby will not go to bed unless he is being breastfed...

my hv told me to stop feeding him just before he goes off (semi awake) then lay him down in bed....this is easier said then done he screams the house down then by the end of it he is fully awake again! Am i worrying for no reason as he is 15months old and he is my first.. When do babies manage to settle themselves

[Fuschia]

This might be of interest

http://kellymom.com/bf/normal/comfortnursing/

[steffie]

Thank u for this link very very helpful and reasurring

[Fuschia]

I think it's only a problem if it's a problem for you. I feed my 2 yo to sleep, I love the snuggles snd he is my last so I appreciate how fleeting this stage is.

You could introduce a special blanket, song, soothing cd now that you can use later

[bluesuperted]

Yes she usually does and I LOVE it! She's 5 weeks old. My first BF til 25 months and fed to sleep til 8/9months at bedtime and til the end for naps. I wish he'd kept feeding to sleep at bedtime for longer, it's so lovely and easy.

[midivydale]

I agree with Fuschia, it is only a problem if it is a problem for you. My son alwaye falls asleep with a bottle feed and skin to skin contact he is 14 months and has fallen asleep like this since the early days.

I too enjoy the closeness and have never seen this as an issue.

If it becomes one later I will deal with it then, but for now it is just extra cuddle time.

X

[gillandjoe]

my son son breastfed to sleep every time for the first 18 months. He also fed LOADS - 7 or 8 times a night - so I decided to stop breastfeeding and he went straight from nursing to sleep to cuddling to sleep. Just as lovely and not at all stressful to switch to even after 18 months of solely nursing to sleep.

don't worry! it is natural and wonderful to nurse your baby to sleep. I think health visitors really need to learn the difference between advice based on fact and advice based on prejudice about attachment parenting!!

[steffie]

I am happily breastfeeding him but i was worried that he might think that he can only sleep whilst being breastfed .... I am really happy breastfeeding him as i was worried that i might not be able too before he was born (after listening to horror stories not producing enough or baby not latching on).i went for free breastfeeding lessons at dulwich hospital which were really good. I remember when my son was born the first thing i said was can i try to feed him i think i was so nervous and scared it might not work:) thank you all for you replies there very interesting

[GinaG3]

My daughter is now 4. From day 1 I fed her to sleep, I absolutely loved breastfeeding and so did she. I was constantly told by health visitors not to feed her to sleep as I was 'making a rod for my own back' I didn't care to listen it worked for us and made us both happy. She breastfed until her second birthday spot on, and breastfed to sleep right up until this point also. I got extremely worried I wouldn't be able to settle her without her being at the breast. Honestly, do not worry about it!

This wont be the same for everyone of course but my daughter has always been close to me, always wanted to go to sleep with me (out on the sofa..) BUT she will settle with other people and will settle without me. From birth we also incorporated rhythm at bedtime - a very specific rocking motion, and also songs, 2 songs in fact that I made up to the same rhythm of the motion not hard at all same phrase over and over. Still now aged 4 I sing these every night and occasionally rock her with the said rhythm too. I haven't forced any routine with her as I have never wanted to although I have tried to get her to settle in her own bed by herself at night but not very hard, if she gets upset being on her own I go straight to her and always have. I do intend to get her into some routine over the course of the next few months as she is ready and does now understand all aspects of bedtime, she will also be starting primary school so feel it really needs done but I will be finding a gentle way to approach it that she is comfortable with.

Honestly, try not to worry. All babies do eventually get there, some times it isn't so easy but sometimes it is easier than you think it will be. Enjoy what you have now and try not to worry about the future. Try to incorporate other connections at bedtime like rhythm, songs, a blanket or toy so that there is something else they are used and associate with sleeping/falling asleep.

[gillandjoe]

yup, what i meant by my post was that although my rampantly breastfeeding baby did not self-wean, he still adjusted to not nursing to sleep almost immediately. You shouldn't worry about it at all! To be honest, i miss nursing him to sleep now eventhough he sleeps better throughout the night! x

[canela]

It's about what feels best for both of you. I still nurse 3 year old to sleep, but if I'm not there or she's at my mum's for the weekend - then she manages perfectly well. i really don't get the point of giving up something that you both enjoy and that makes your baby go to sleep quickly.

[steffie]

Yes the health visitor said the same to me "making a rod for my own back" i think i will introduce a blanket or toy that is a very good idea thank you.

[bluesuperted]

I love the rods I made with my eldest, so much so I'm making a matching set with my new daughter!

Agree with gillandjoe re: HV (and often society) being non-evidence-based and prejudiced/not understanding attachment parenting practices. I ignore HVs in the main for this reason!

[Pickle]

In my 6.5 years of parenting, here's my top tip:

1. Never listen to health visitors

;-)

My 15 month old used to always fall asleep while I fed her, but in the last few weeks she has finished feeding while awake and gets put down awake (she chats for a bit then falls asleep). Do what's best for you. If putting the baby down awake means he is upset, don't do it.

[buggie]

As a member of a (not very local) HV team (but not doing my HV training yet) find the advice not to

listen to HV advice really sad :( don't far all with the same brush.

For *some* mums, it can be really difficult to manage feeding to sleep every night and they do worry

about how bubs will settle if an emergency took them away or if their returning to work so not able toffees to sleep for naps.

I would always say that if it's not a problem to you, then fab & continue, but, if there are big life changes coming which could rock the boat, then an ahead & make gradual changes.

HV's are likely wary of feeding to sleep/attachment parenting as their often the ones having to advice the parents who haven't thought ahead & are having difficulty adjusting to changes made and are wanting advice/support. HV teams are v similar to the yellow pates - apart from dvelopmental reciews, Parents don't make efforts to see HV's to tell them everything's fab! :)

[Pickle]

Oh Buggie, I was a little tongue in cheek - admittedly I don't take my youngest to see the HV very often, but the couple of times I've been in the last 15 months I have seen lovely ladies full of sensible advice. My comment was meant more in a "you weren't worried about it, so don't let a HV make you worried about it" way.

:-)

[buggie]

Ah phew :-)

There's a massive increase (finally) in HV numbers as its finally been realised the service was being run into a big hole, so there are lots of fresh evidence-based HV's out there.

Tis the same as with any advice though ( as any advice thread on here shows!): take it on board; consider it; try it even, but if it doesn't work for you there's always an alternative & no one does everything the same way!

[Pickle]

... and my cynicism stems from such useful advice with my son (now nearly 6.5) as "make sure you give him food containing fat... Like chips" (he was 7 months old), and "are you worried about the fact that he is 25th centile for weight but only 9th (or something like that) for height?". Aaaah, can't say I'd ever thought about it. Should I stretch him?

;-)

[bluesuperted]

Sorry Buggie, I've met many really impressive HCPs (particularly since becoming a mum) but think I've been unlucky with never meeting a HV who seemed to inspire say, the trust levels and awareness of their expertise of my amazing midwife for my last pregnancy. I'd love a HV like you of course! And have heard of some positive HV stories, just not round here.

[minder]

I used to look forward to visiting my HVs as I had sleep problems with my first (he's now 20). I used to try putting their advice into practice (have the sleep diaries somewhere to prove it)! Got to remember that there was no internet links, mobiles, etc. and HVs (and Mums and Dads) were the only source of advice.

With my second baby I did things slightly different but was lucky that she slept through the night from 6 months and also my third but they still had a dummy and teddy to go to sleep with which really helped settle them.

I bottlefed all three and can remember sitting up with son with the bottle hanging out of his mouth in a perfect sleep and then putting him down and that was it, back to square one!

Other than that my health visitors were great in giving me good advice about everything (not sure about the chips) and I think it's a good thing that they've made a comeback.

[steffie]

Minder that sounds like my son fast asleep whilst he's still on me but when i pull him away his mouth is still sucking away on thin air luckily he stays asleep tho :) bless him very cute)

Referring to the earlier replies i always found that i didn't really get eye connection with my hv just the usual how are you ...how's baby.... ok see you in 2 weeks..... I also found her door always open with door stop and other mum's sitting right outside waiting to be seen (even if i did have a problem i would not say anything because i knew other people were listening..) I think i spoke more to the lovely nurse who weighed him beforehand, she always said baby looks great how are you, baby is a great weight, well done etc....not that i wanted praise but 1st baby i needed some reassurance....

[Ramble66]

I love this -

http://nurshable.com/2012/07/19/the-wio-wait-it-out-method-of-sleep-training/

[bluesuperted]

Me too!