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Rosie, I think if it were me, I'd follow kidkruger's advice - he seems to have hit the nail on the head:


>>>>Get rid of it snd say you lost it.

Get rid of it and say you we're 'burgled'.

Get rid of it then before end of tenancy replace it with a sofa 2nd hand from EDF of equal quality (you'll likely be able to get better quality) quite cheaply. You can say something like a friend weed on it - something which writes-off the landlord wanting to keep it but shows you've resolved/improved his sofa situation.

Surely you left the window open while you were making tea in the other room, and a fox got in and shat on the sofa? No sane* person would ever want a sofa after that. You had no choice but to replace it out of the kindness of your heart, obviously.




*Of course this plot hinges on your landlord being sane...

Jesus, when my decomposing, cat-eaten corpse (they break in you know) is found seeping into the covers, he's not going to want it back anyway...


Fizzy cola bottles cannot quench my existential angst.


Actually, I'm not sure anything can quench an angst, especially not these little cocknballs-shaped haribo.

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