Overheard in the PLayground . . .

[womanofdulwich]

I think you have a good point there gill and joe-I feel sorry for men who are locked into working like this. I do for women too though!

I do think its London that does this though. If you dont come from your London, you probably saw your Dad go to work at the same time as you went to school and you all had tea/ dinner together at 6pm :(

[Carbonara]

I would bringing it up at the next AGM of the PTA and ask if her personal views affect the way she raises and spends PTA resources.

Silly woman.

Small place, ED, not may schools, someone will recognise her and alert her to her public shame.

[midivydale]

This brought back memories of when I first turned up in the UK from Sweden to start university. I had saved for two years and was so excited for my future.

At the welcome session our faculty dean started with.

"in front of me today are some of tomorrows most wellpaid bankers, and some of the prettiest wives to be"....

I was crushed!!

[midivydale]

"can I be a feminist and a stay at home Mum?

Hell yea!

It is about freedom of choice! I have just returned to work this week after a year off with my son. I am heartbroken. If I had the option to stay at home I would do so in a heartbeat and would most def not see myself as any less of a feminist. In fact, I hope that we are all feminists in our own way working to teach our children about equal opportunities.

[bishop]

midivydale Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> This brought back memories of when I first turned

> up in the UK from Sweden to start university. I

> had saved for two years and was so excited for my

> future.

> At the welcome session our faculty dean started

> with.

> "in front of me today are some of tomorrows most

> wellpaid bankers, and some of the prettiest wives

> to be"....

>

> I was crushed!!

WHAT!? That is OUTRAGEOUS.

[mrs f]

I agree jillandjoe, I started my own business after I had my son, I as of yet have no income from it so rely on my husbands wage I'm doing something I love & am very passionate about and feel very lucky for the opportunity. There is no way I could have done this without my university education and subsequent jobs. My husband on the other hand feels stuck in a job / industry that he hates because we need a certain level of income to survive.

Both of us need the education we had. Even though he is technically the "breadwinner" currently

[etta166]

Words fail me that anyone actually thinks this way still!

Most of my musing on this area recently has been more leaning towards thinking that men get a rough deal (e.g. most mothers in my office work flexibly but no fathers work part time at all...). I'd always thought that the only way things were going to equal out was if men stood up and asked for the same kind of flexability to try to get the right balance of work and family life. Looks like I'm wrong, thought :(

[Bouncy]

Midivydale - NO!!! Seriously??? It's impossible that could have been all that long ago, right, as you're a recent mum? Did anyone react??

[midivydale]

Oh yes, there was plenty of reactions- cheers from the "men" and nervous giggles from young women to young, naive and too keen to fit in to know any better.

I thought perhaps that I had misunderstood, that my English was letting me down but no.

I have thought about that comment so many times over the years (this was 1999, when I was 21).

I was crushed and not equipped to deal with that situation at the time.

Oh, if only I could meet him again, today.

In fact- I may write to him.

[Bouncy]

You should! - especially if he's still in that position / a similar position!

[sillywoman]

Oh my goodness Midivydale, that's just shocking. I'd like to hope that at some point in the intervening years someone wil have pointed out to him how outrageously offensive that statement is - more likely they've 'retired' him off.

Carbonara, your suggestion is so wickedly funny that I laughed out loud. I'd love to do that, sadly I'm not really a PTA type and not around enough to go to any of the meetings. I might see if I can find a class rep with a wicked sense of humor and strong sense of justice to do it for me though ;)

[Pugwash]

Having watched yesterday's TV re the machinest strike at Fords over equal pay - I was reminded that I was 18 in 1968 and working with the GLC - I do not remember if we had equal pay with the men there. I did not go to Uni when leaving school, my single parent mother kept me on at school for 3 years past the school leaving age as having a disability I was at a disadvantage already and her view was to get as many qualifications as I could as in those days disability was equated with low intellegence and ability. My 2 girls were brought up in the view that education was the great leveller and they could be whatever they wanted to be . One toyed with the idea of becoming an engineer, the other an interior designer. Both went to uni, as I did at the age of 40, and have forged out careers for themselves. I now have a professional qualification and earnt twice as much as hubby. Nowadays - I earn five times as much as he was retired on health grounds at 58. Eldest daughter swopped a career for motherhood, but worked part time, and has recently completed her second degree and has a professional qualification which is recognised world wide. She recognises that her daughter is academically nore able than her son and wants her to achieve her potential. Whilst her son is bright at school, his interests lie in sports and animal welfare and his aim in life is to work in a zoo with reptiles. Who knows at this stage how my grandchildren's lives will pan out - but I know that as far as education is concerned - their parents would want them to achieve in their areas of interest and have a satisfying career.

[sillywoman]

I wish there was a 'like' button for some of these posts, as on Facebook.

[WorkingMummy]

midivydale Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> "can I be a feminist and a stay at home Mum?

>

> Hell yea!

> It is about freedom of choice! I have just

> returned to work this week after a year off with

> my son. I am heartbroken. If I had the option to

> stay at home I would do so in a heartbeat and

> would most def not see myself as any less of a

> feminist. In fact, I hope that we are all

> feminists in our own way working to teach our

> children about equal opportunities.

100% agree with this.

It is also possible (in fact, very easy) to be a working mother and buy into a fairly unreconstructed mindset of what a woman should be and what her duties are.

Feel your heartbreak Midivydale! How many Kleenex a day are you on?

[skyblue]

Men came to dominate the world because they are physically stronger than women, and it is stupid comments like the one mentioned in the op that allow this dominance to continue. Banking, politics, education, religion, media, police, law where are the female judicial appointments? on and on and on.

If we as a country and a world could eliminate discrimination towards women then everything else would would be so much more easily solved. As for the stupid woman in the playground, she is fooling herself and damaging her daughter's future security.

[LondonMix]

Err, I like the sentiment, but I've never really bought the whole, if women ruled the world we'd be so much better off idea! Ending discrimination for me is an end in and of itself. Not sure women in banking / the judiciary etc would be any better than men.

[skyblue]

what I am saying is that women should be given exactly the same opportunities to succeed as men and they are not. That is all.

[LondonMix]

Sorry, I thought the " everything else would be so much more easily solved" part of your post was referring to the world's problems.

[Worker]

Going back to the OP's question, and as proved by almost every response, 'no, it's the PTA Mum that's out of sync, not you'.

[midivydale]

WM- i go through ALOT... Also blaming my red swollen eyes on hayfever (which I have never suffered from in my life).

[WorkingMummy]

LondonMix Wrote:

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> Ending discrimination

> for me is an end in and of itself.

Liked.

[Bouncy]

Oh Midivydale - I remember your other posts related to your return to work - how's it all going??? I hope not too horrendous??

On whether women ruling the world would make things better: I agree that what is deisrable is equality and parity rather than feminine take-over. However, I do feel that we need some more females / people who have 'feminine' values in power, so that this can be achieved.

In order that we can have true equality of choice in career and childcare, we need a structure where both are valued and real choice made possible. I think it's a massive obstacle to this that, for example, it's impossible to be both a politician in central government and an involved parent (because being a central government policitian is all-consuming - much more than full-time, plus evenings going through 'boxes,' etc).

This means that even the female politicians have to relegate the importance of family involvement, and move away from this part of their life, and reconstrue any pre-existing beliefs around it (otherwise, they'd be left with massive cognitive dissonance) - in turn relegating the importance and time devoted to family-friendly policies (for both men and women)...