georgia Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 What cheese is used to disguise a small horse? Mascarpone What cheese is made backwards?Edam Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/58/#findComment-446068 Share on other sites More sharing options...
a bloke Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 Wayne Rooney has used Colleen's pubic hair for his hair transplant.Apparently the success rate is much higher if transplanted from one kunt to another. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/58/#findComment-446113 Share on other sites More sharing options...
???? Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 1400 Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/58/#findComment-446129 Share on other sites More sharing options...
a bloke Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 I've never been able to complete the alphabet...... I don't know Y ? Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/58/#findComment-446194 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhinestone Cowboy Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 The missus asked me, ?When you?re on a boys only trip away, do you think about me?? Apparently ?Only to stop myself coming too quickly? wasn't the right answer. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/58/#findComment-450003 Share on other sites More sharing options...
srisky Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 Apparently you can but Meatloaf underwear - on the front it says 'I'd do anything for love' and on the back it says 'but I won't do that'... Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/58/#findComment-450007 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Scarlet Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 A friend of mine told me he was off out today to have sex with an American billionaires wife. I have just seen him and asked how he he got on and he said he came up Trumps. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/58/#findComment-450338 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Scarlet Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 I grew up in a deprived area. When I was a kid people used to cover me in chocolate and cream, then place a cherry on top of my head......yes life was tough in the gateau! Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/58/#findComment-450339 Share on other sites More sharing options...
katie1997 Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 and there was me thinking you must have lived in the Black Forest...in the 1970s. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/58/#findComment-450516 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ted Max Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 "Are there any Greek dry cleaners nearby?""Why?""I've got Croesus in my trousers." Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/58/#findComment-450520 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jah Lush Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 Just after my wife had given birth, I asked the doctor, "How soon do you think we'll be able to have sex?"He winked at me and said, "Well, I'm off duty in ten minutes - meet me in the car park." Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/58/#findComment-450576 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Scarlet Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 Medical Fact: if a woman drinks two glasses of wine a day,it increases the chance of a stroke. If you let her finish the bottle she will probably suck it as well Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/58/#findComment-451141 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Scarlet Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 What do you call an ape in a minefield?A baBOOM. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/58/#findComment-451142 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salsaboy Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 I've just got myself one of those penis enlargers. She's blonde, aged 25 and called Sophie. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/58/#findComment-451175 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jah Lush Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 The Psychiatrist and the Proctologist Two best friends graduated from medical school at the same time. They decided that, in spite of two different 'specialties', they would open a practice together to share office space and personnel. Dr. Smith was the psychiatrist. Dr. Jones was the proctologist. They put up a sign reading: Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: "Hysterias and Posteriors". The town council was livid and insisted they change it. So, the docs changed it to read: "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids" This was also not acceptable, so they again changed the sign. "Catatonics and High Colonics"......No go. Next, they tried "Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives"....thumbs down again.Then came: "Minds and Behinds"....still no good. Another attempt resulted in: "Lost Souls and Butt Holes".......unacceptable yet again.So they tried: "Analysis and Anal Cysts".....not a chance."Nuts and Butts"??.....no way."Freaks and Cheeks"??.....still no good."Loons and Moons"?.....forget it. Almost at their wit's end, the docs finally came up with: Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones -- "Odds and Ends."Everyone loved it. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/58/#findComment-451737 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Scarlet Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 Two hydrogen atoms step out of a pub. One pats its pockets and says "I think I left an electron on the bar", "Are you sure?", "Yes, I'm positive!" Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/58/#findComment-451979 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frankito Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 Which key can open every locked door?A pikey... >:D< Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/58/#findComment-451981 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Scarlet Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 An Englishman, Scotsman and Irishman sitting in the bar, the Eng said,,I have a good one ! My wife floated 2 feet above me when she had an orgasm, great! I'll drink to that they said. 5 mins later Jock says, My wife floated 4 feet abv me after an orgasm, WoW! I'll drink to that they said. 5 mins later Paddy pipes up and said, I got a wee cracker, me missus hit di fikin roof after I whipe me dick on the curtain. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/58/#findComment-452279 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Scarlet Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 Steves birthday partysteves wife took him to the strip club as a suprisethey got to the door and the bouncer said ...hi ya steve,nice to c yahis wife said ...how the fuck does he know yousteve said ....he is my friend from ages agoso they went in....they got to the bar...and the barmaid said....hi steve.. pint of carlsberg ? ..his wife said...you bastard...steve quickly replied ...she is my best mates sister, she knows what i drinkhis wife felt guilty, so she asked the best looking stripper to come over and treat steveshe said ...hi steve, do you want the usual? i might not have enough time to give you a blowiesteves wife smacked him round the head and demanded to go home, not believing any of his protests at innocence...steve explained she was just being jealousthey got in a cab andthe taxi driver said hi ya Steve...usual hotel mate??... *ucking hell, you pulled a right minger tonite mate Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/58/#findComment-452280 Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyBee Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 One afternoon my neighbour asked me ( Hi ya !!!!)Can I tell the hacker man that your windows are closed and your friend is listening the radio on his TV , and I said NO, NO please tell him my computer is on and my accounts are open he will be fine with that, becouse he won't find anything apart from me. ha, ha, ha, Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/58/#findComment-452289 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loz Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 I think that one lost something in the translation... Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/58/#findComment-452303 Share on other sites More sharing options...
maxxi Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 Loz Wrote:-------------------------------------------------------> I think that one lost something in the> translation...from bot-ese to English you mean? Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/58/#findComment-452306 Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyBee Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 maxxi Wrote:-------------------------------------------------------> Loz Wrote:> --------------------------------------------------> -----> > I think that one lost something in the> > translation...> > from bot-ese to English you mean?Don't worry he is only protecting the Foxes Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/58/#findComment-452313 Share on other sites More sharing options...
guna nua Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 That is by far the best,although I do like bagpuss,keef and jah lush.. especially for his englishness Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/58/#findComment-454665 Share on other sites More sharing options...
???? Posted July 22, 2011 Share Posted July 22, 2011 Greece - Sales of tzatziki and taramasalata plummet provoking widespread fears of a double dip recession Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/58/#findComment-456827 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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