Sue Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 :)) Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/53/#findComment-397959 Share on other sites More sharing options...
daizie Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 I just got off the phone with a friend in Minnesota,He said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly waisthigh and is still falling. The temperature is dropping below zero andthe north wind is increasing. His wife has done nothing but lookthrough the kitchen window. He says that if it gets much worse, hemay have to let her in. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/53/#findComment-399341 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jah Lush Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 Apparently Gary Glitter has applied for a season ticket for Aston Villa. He?s heard that the strikers are Young, Bent and maybe Keane. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/53/#findComment-402937 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluerevolution Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 . Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/53/#findComment-403024 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narnia Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 The Donkey Young Paddy bought a donkey from a farmer for ?100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next day he drove up and said, Sorry son, but I have some bad news. The Donkey has died.Paddy replied, Well then just give me my money back.The farmer said, Can?t do that. I?ve already spent it.Paddy said, OK, then, just bring me the dead donkey.The farmer asked, What are you going to do with him?Paddy said, I?m going to raffle him off.The farmer said, You can?t raffle a dead donkey!Paddy said, Sure I can. Watch me. I just won?t tell anybody he?s dead. A month later, the farmer met up with Paddy and asked, What happened with that dead donkey?Paddy said, I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two euro a piece and made a profit of ?898The farmer said, Didn?t anyone complain?Paddy said, Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two euro back.Paddy now works for Anglo Irish Bank??????.. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/53/#findComment-403966 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emerson Crane Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am today, 2:30am!!!!! Lucky for him I was up playing the drums. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/53/#findComment-403984 Share on other sites More sharing options...
felt-tip Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 i like that! Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/53/#findComment-404704 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jah Lush Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 I was sitting on the train this morning opposite a really sexy Thai bird.I thought to myself, "Please don't get an erection. Please don't get an erection."But she did. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/53/#findComment-407964 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scribe Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 Paddy's walking through the village holding a bag of doughnuts. He bumps into Murphy who asks Paddy what's in the bag.Murphy: So, watchya gat in da bag, boy?Paddy: Doughnuts.Murphy: Can ah have one if ah guess 'ow many you've gat?Paddy: Murphy, if ya can guess 'ow many doughnuts oiv gat in da bag, yer can have both o' dem.Two Irish couples decide to spice up their sex lives by swapping partners.Afterwards, Paddy says, "That was fockin' grand! I wonder how da gels got on." Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/53/#findComment-408056 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Scarlet Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 I had a friend, He couldn't stand his toes, so he cut them off, I couldn't stand it,I guess I'm lacktoes intolerant. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/53/#findComment-408803 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scribe Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 1/10. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/53/#findComment-408805 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Scarlet Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 The Egyptian Government have devised a way to settle the unrest on the streets.Everyone has to get in a car, toot their horn and chill.. . . ....... sorry about this but............it's called Toot and Calm Downsaid I was sorry.XX Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/53/#findComment-408869 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scribe Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 1?/10, Corporal Scarlet. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/53/#findComment-408878 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scribe Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 Not so much a joke, but more of a statement: I don't believe in all that stuff about God being the Architect of the world. But if he was, I don't like the man. Nobody in their right mind would get bored of dinosaurs. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/53/#findComment-408881 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Scarlet Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 Scribe Wrote:-------------------------------------------------------> 1?/10, Corporal Scarlet.would you like me to post some hunting jokes for you Scribe?.Tut tut...Stalking now are we?....that was a joke!. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/53/#findComment-408882 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Scarlet Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 My son got kicked out of class today. The teacher asked him, "If I gave you ?20 and you paid ?5 to Joanne, ?5 to Jane and ?5 to Katie, what would you have?"Apparently, "Three blowjobs and enough left for a kebab," was the wrong answer. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/53/#findComment-408883 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scribe Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 Teenagers on 50cc mopeds - South London's answer to Vuvuzelas. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/53/#findComment-408886 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Scarlet Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 How do you know when someone has a new Iphone?They tell you. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/53/#findComment-409065 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Scarlet Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet.Yorkshireman: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat."Vet: "Is it a tom ?"Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've browt it wi' us." Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/53/#findComment-409070 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emerson Crane Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 Captain Scarlet Wrote:-------------------------------------------------------> Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet.> Yorkshireman: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee> about me cat."> Vet: "Is it a tom ?"> Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've browt it wi' us."(tu) Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/53/#findComment-409094 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jah Lush Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 A girl goes into a bar and asks for an example of double entendre, so the barman gives her one. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/53/#findComment-409182 Share on other sites More sharing options...
rifleman harris Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 I went to the doctors the other day and he told me to go behind the screen and get undressed.I did this and I called out "Where shall I put my clothes" and he replied "Over there on top of mine"!:-$ Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/53/#findComment-409198 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jah Lush Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 A guy walks into a bar and says "Gimme twenty shots of your best whisky." The bartender pours the shots, and the guy immediately pounds them all down like a madman.The bartender says "Man, I've never seen anybody drink like that before."He says "You'd drink like that too if you had what I have.""What do you have?" asks the bartender.The guy says "Fifty pence." Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/53/#findComment-409223 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarot Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 Thats a good one J.L. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/53/#findComment-409226 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emerson Crane Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 The Brittle Bone Society offered me ?750 cash in hand for a job, I tore their hand off for it. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/53/#findComment-409233 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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