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I just got off the phone with a friend in Minnesota,


He said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly waist

high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping below zero and

the north wind is increasing. His wife has done nothing but look

through the kitchen window. He says that if it gets much worse, he

may have to let her in.

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https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/53/#findComment-399341
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  • 2 weeks later...

The Donkey


Young Paddy bought a donkey from a farmer for ?100.

The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.

The next day he drove up and said, Sorry son, but I have some

bad news. The Donkey has died.

Paddy replied, Well then just give me my money back.

The farmer said, Can?t do that. I?ve already spent it.

Paddy said, OK, then, just bring me the dead donkey.

The farmer asked, What are you going to do with him?

Paddy said, I?m going to raffle him off.

The farmer said, You can?t raffle a dead donkey!

Paddy said, Sure I can. Watch me. I just won?t tell anybody he?s dead.

A month later, the farmer met up with Paddy and asked, What happened with that dead donkey?

Paddy said, I raffled him off.

I sold 500 tickets at two euro a piece and made a profit of ?898

The farmer said, Didn?t anyone complain?

Paddy said, Just the guy who won.

So I gave him his two euro back.

Paddy now works for Anglo Irish Bank??????..

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https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/53/#findComment-403966
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  • 2 weeks later...

Paddy's walking through the village holding a bag of doughnuts. He bumps into Murphy who asks Paddy what's in the bag.


Murphy: So, watchya gat in da bag, boy?


Paddy: Doughnuts.


Murphy: Can ah have one if ah guess 'ow many you've gat?


Paddy: Murphy, if ya can guess 'ow many doughnuts oiv gat in da bag, yer can have both o' dem.



Two Irish couples decide to spice up their sex lives by swapping partners.


Afterwards, Paddy says, "That was fockin' grand! I wonder how da gels got on."

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A guy walks into a bar and says "Gimme twenty shots of your best whisky." The bartender pours the shots, and the guy immediately pounds them all down like a madman.

The bartender says "Man, I've never seen anybody drink like that before."

He says "You'd drink like that too if you had what I have."

"What do you have?" asks the bartender.

The guy says "Fifty pence."

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