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Everyday a male co-worker walks up to a lady at the coffee machine,

inhales a big breath of fresh air and tells her hair smells nice.


After a week of this, she cant stand it anymore, takes her complaint to

a superviser in the personnel department and asked to file a sexual

harassment grievance against him.


The Human resources superviser is puzzled and asks " Whats threatening

about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice? "


The woman replies " Its Revill the dwarf! "

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A guy comes into a bar one day and says to the barman, "Give me six double vodkas."


The barman says, "Wow! You must have had one hell of a day."


"Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay."


The next day the same guy comes into the bar again and asks for the same drinks. When the bartender asks what the problem was today, the guy says,


"I've just found out my younger brother is gay too!"


On the third day the guy comes back into the bar yet again and orders another six double vodkas.


The barman says "JESUS! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"


"Yeah! Says the guy, "My wife..."

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A guy walks into Joe's Cafe and sees a rabbit ordering bacon on toast. The next day he notices the rabbit orders cheese on toast. On the third day the rabbit is not in the cafe, so the guy asks Joe why the bunny hasn't shown up.


Joe said : Oh him ? He died from mixinmetoasties.

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The Pope was having a shower.

Although he's very strict about celibacy, he occasionally felt he needed to exercise the Papal wrist, and this happened to be one of those occasions.

Just as he reached the Papal climax, he saw a photographer taking a picture of the Holy seed flying through the air.

"Hold on a minute," said the Pope, "You cant do that - you'll destroy the reputation of the Church."

"This is my lottery win," said the photographer, "I'll be financially secure for life with these photos."

So, the Pope offered to buy the camera from the photographer, and after much negotiation, they eventually settled on a figure of ?2,000,000.

The Pope clothed himself and headed off to destroy the images on the camera.

Along the vast Vatican hallways, he bumped into his personal housekeeper.

Being a bit of a photography buff, she noticed the camera and said, "That looks like a really expensive digital SLR camera, how much it cost you?"

Not being one to lie, the Pope replied, ...."Two million Pounds."

"TWO MILLION Pounds!" Replied the housekeeper, "they must have seen you coming"!

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An elderly lady goes to the doctor's. "Doctor...", she says, "I seem to have this terrible flatulence problem. I'm passing wind so much. Fortunately they are silent and don't smell, but could you help me?"


"Hmmm", says the Doctor, scribbling a prescription. "Take these for two weeks then come back and see me."


Two weeks later the lady returns. "Doctor I don't know what you gave me, but it's made it worse. I'm still as flatulant as ever, but now they really stink. It's terribly embarrassing."


"Good, they worked", said the doctor.


"GOOD? It's awful. How can you say it's good?"


The doctor said, "Well, they've successfully cleared your nose out. Now let's see if there's something we can do about your hearing..."

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Captain Scarlet Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> How many scenesters does it take to change a light

> bulb?

>

> It's an obscure number, you won't have heard of

> it!



Just for you Sue....amother joke!....whats boring anout posting a joke?


My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him under

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A sadist, a masochist, a murderer, a necrophile, a zoophile and a pyromaniac are all sitting on a bench in a mental institution, bored out of their minds.


"How about having sex with a cat?" asked the zoophile.

"Let's have sex with the cat and then torture it," says the sadist.

"Let's have sex with the cat, torture it and then kill it," shouted the murderer.

"Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it and then have sex with it again," said the necrophile.

"Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it, have sex with it again and then burn it," said the pyromaniac.


Silence took over... and the masochist says: "Meow."

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