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a joke

Mark

By Mark
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  • 3 months later...
Marmora Man

Marmora Man

Posted
Posted

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter


"What are you doing?" she asked.


"Hunting Flies" He responded.


"Oh. ! Killing any?" She asked.


"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.


Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell them apart?"


He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone.

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 1 month later...
Jah Lush

Jah Lush

Posted
Posted

A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana when he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house 'Talking Dog For Sale'. He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador sitting there.

"You talk?" he says.

"Yep" the dog replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog speak, he says "So, what's your story?"

The Labrador looks up and says, "Well. I discovered I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping."

"I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running, but the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals."

"I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm retired."

The guys is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars." the guy says.

"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's a liar. He never did any of that shit."

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Ladymuck

Ladymuck

Posted
Posted

Man goes to barbers with his little girl to get his hair cut.


Whilst he is receiving his hair cut, his little girl sits close by eating a cake.


The barber smiles at the little girl and says: "you are going to get hair on your muffin".


The little girl replies: "yes, and I am going to get tits too - you dirty old bastard".




Courtesy of my best friend

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georgia

georgia

Posted
Posted

V silly joke...well it is Friday:



I was walking past the fridge earlier and thought I heard an onion singing a Bee Gees song, but when I opened the door it was just a chive talkin.....



I asked the chive if he wanted to be an onion? But it said I'm stayin' achive stayin' achive ah,ah,ah,ah stayin' achive.....

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