Daughter going to Newcastle Uni mid Sept

[paddyp7]

Hi folks - single parent with 12-year-old and can't really leave him for a few days (school etc) to take daughter to Uni - don't have a car but do drive - not looking forward to the journey there and back - any suggestions - yes I know car/van hire is there but also trying not to make daughter feel awkward to go on her own with someone else the whole way - yes - perhaps need to bite the bullet here.

Thanks all - worry worry and perhaps this post is not as clear as could be

Paddy

[IlonaM]

How about making a weekend of it before term starts? All off together to settle her in. Exploring Newcastle and a bit of the local area to give all three of you a super memory of her new chapter.

[malumbu]

She will hopefully already be on Facebook and Whatsapp university groups so perhaps someone could give you a lift. I found it crazy that the motorways could be solid with parents taking their kids up to uni, and estate cars full to the brim, why more didn't share eg hiring a larger vehicle. It's probably more realistic for later years when they don't need you to be there. Although dare I say I recall some in my time arriving on their own on the National Express with a backpack. I assume students can no longer fit all their belongings in a backpack any more (saying this with a smile on my face rather than being a grumpy oldish person)

[malumbu]

PS love Newcastle, sure she will have a great time

[JohnL]

Make a day of it - but then when it comes to meeting the fellow students - if I remember my days as a student you really want to be there at the beginning before they all know each other.

[RoundTable]

I lived abroad and came to uni in UK. I had one humongous bag (almost at the weight limit), a plane ticket, some cash and a pre-loaded bank card to last me until I had opened my own bank account and my father had transferred money. When I arrived in halls of uni I had to go out and buy myself a duvet, duvet cover, and pillows. Over the next few weeks I acquired a CD player (my first ever), more toiletries, course textbooks and had paid the first term of halls of residence. By the end of freshers? week I was sorted and ready to start and I?d probably matured 5 years in just one week of having to sort it out by myself. I was never jealous of the kids whose parents picked and dropped off each term.

Back then there was no internet or mobile phones. Only one pay phone for about 150 rooms.

I?d drop her off at the train station and let her adventure begin.

[Ruskin]

The Uni message boards are full of these sort of requests. There are a lot of young people out there needing logistical help so do encourage her to check there.

[newresidentindulwich]

Hi,

I'm from Newcastle and I'm sure she'll have a brilliant time. My only tip is that if you do drive her up there, leave as early as you can to get through the Blackwall Tunnel before the traffic is at a standstill. We typically leave Dulwich around 7/7.30am on either Saturday or Sunday to minimise the driving time. It's also better to use the A1(M) than the M1... I wouldn't try to go there and back in a day - that would be a killer! Good luck.

[intexasatthe moment]

Big congrats to your daughter .And to you ,though of course you're fretting about the practicalities.

Something will get sorted.All well be well .

[womanofdulwich]

https://www.shiply.com/

Try these for moving stuff.

[Pugwash]

Having had 2 daughters and a granddaughter at Uni - I know the feeling. Eldest daughter went to Central Lancashire and she had to book into halls before midday. We went up the night before and stayed at a Travelodge type of place at one of the M6 motorway stations about an hour drive from Preston. Car loaded with duvets etc. Left ED around 4.30 am to avoid traffic on M1/M6. Next daughter was at Brighton so much easier. Granddaughter went to Leeds, her Mum also drove up day before and stayed with friends in Knaresborough and this became the routine for 3 years. Why not make a mini break of it taking your son up with you.

If she is in Halls - check what they provide i.e. kettles/microwave etc so to eliminate what you need to take with you.

With both girls - I took them to local supermarket and stocked up with non perishable food (pasta/tins of tuna/Beans/passata/pesto) etc Also supply of loo rolls and washing powder.

Eldest daughter shared flat in halls with 4 others and they remained in touch for several years after leaving Uni. Grand daughter and a couple of her halls flat mates joined up together for next 2 years in a privately rented house.

Despite being back in Kent since last September due to lockdowns, granddaughter kept in touch via email/zoom etc with her house mates who for the vast majority, living with family all over UK.

[bonaome]

Take the 12 year old with you. A couple of days out of school, aged 12, won't make a difference to their PhD prospects.

Pick up your hire car on Thursday and drive up there. If she doesn't drive, consider stopping half way staying in a Travelodge or Premiere Inn - it's a very long way to do in one go with one driver. Stay Friday / Saturday night. Check Booking.com for avails. If the Hilton Gateshead is available and at an affordable rate, stay there - it has the best breakfast in the Western Hemisphere, bar none, and nice views of the Tyne Bridge. Newcastle is a great town. Hang out Friday/Saturday. Wish her good luck and drive home, at a very leisurely pace on Sunday. 12 yr old goes back to school (having miraculously recovered from their "minor ailment" and) having spent a great weekend saying au revoir to big sis.

It might be possible to do a 1 way hire on the car and train it back. You'd have to look at the quotes to know if that was more/less expensive but it would save you some serious driving hours on the Sunday. If you do hire a car read this https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/travel/cheap-car-hire/ particularly with reference to the excess insurance costs and how to cut them right down.

If 12 yr old cannot come with you, can they do an extended sleep over with a mate?

Finally, if you get there and in between finding her room and blue-tacking the first poster to her wall the opportunity arrises to go out with some/all/any of the other students in the dorm area/halls etc, just get out of the way, even if that means you're on your own for pizza on Saturday night, even if she protests, just get out of the way - your job is done.

Terms and conditions apply: I do not know you nor your daughter nor the 12 yr old.

[yeknomyeknom]

How about a motor home for a few days and make it a fun road trip.

[Soylent Green]

For the same price as a car hire, can't you all take the train? You can help her with her bags that way and anything you can't carry you can order online from Ikea and have it delivered to the halls.

[James Barber]

Taking a 12yo to see a sibling going/coming from university may help inspire them. So much to do and see in Newcastle and the surrounding area.

Most university accommodation has start date options on Saturday or Sunday. It would be feasible to travel to Newcastle from East Dulwich on a Friday and return on a Sunday. Many you can order duvets etc cheap starter packs to be there awaiting the students arrival.

Many first years can't be left to meet there soon to be new friends quickly enough!

I hope it turns out really well. Emotional time for everyone including your 12yo. All the very best.

[bonaome]

Soylent Green Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> For the same price as a car hire, can't you all

> take the train? You can help her with her bags

> that way and anything you can't carry you can

> order online from Ikea and have it delivered to

> the halls.

Cheapest train = family ticket at ?139, plus train / tube to KX both ways for 3 people. Plus Metro tickets / maybe even need a taxi from Central Station .... Say ?180 - ?190.

Quick glance at car hire = ?110 for a Focus or similar, from Budget, including everything and CDW etc insurances, buy an add on no excess policy at c. ?8, plus petrol, say ?60-?70 = ?180 - ?190.

So nothing in it on price. I'd say the added door to door convenience of the car is the clincher.

[peckhamside]

Hmmm, is that car hire the price for the day? 300m is a long way to go there and back in a day-especially in a ford focus. Plus petrol will surely be more than ?60/?70 ?

My daughter went to Newcastle and we went on the train, we did stay the night before in a hotel but as train so much faster you could do it in a day and make the time slot.

We will all be eating soylent green if we carry on driving everywhere?

[peckhamside]

Is she in halls? If you go by train you will avoid the long queue to get in the car park!! Saw lots of frazzled families arriving in SUVs !! All a bit crotchety.

[bonaome]

peckhamside Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Hmmm, is that car hire the price for the day?

> 300m is a long way to go there and back in a

> day-especially in a ford focus. Plus petrol will

> surely be more than ?60/?70 ?

> My daughter went to Newcastle and we went on the

> train, we did stay the night before in a hotel but

> as train so much faster you could do it in a day

> and make the time slot.

> We will all be eating soylent green if we carry on

> driving everywhere?

No, going on Thursday, back Sunday.

Also I calculated the petrol based on my own experience and worked on, ?if we go to Newcastle at some point we?ll fill the tank?. However the actual cost of the petrol for the journey works out much cheaper. It?s a round trip of just under 600 miles. Our Focus (by no means new) gets about 40 to the gallon overall, so 15 gallons, which even at London prices of ?1.30 per gallon only comes to ?19.50 making the hire car actually cheaper than the train for the four day trip.

There is the environmental impact to consider. But I think sometimes the car is the best solution.

I have family in Newcastle and have made the trip very many times. I?ve only ever driven about 3 or 4 times though over the years, essentially when there?s been something unwieldy to transport: furniture, lots of music equipment, babies and all their associated paraphernalia, etc.

[Jules-and-Boo]

A family and friends railcard will take 1/3 off and if you book ahead you can get discounts.

[Renata Hamvas]

Friday 17th/Saturday 18th seem to be the most common days to move into halls this year. You are therefore probably looking at a Friday/Saturday overnight trip. If you go by train I would suggest that you check whether split tickets work out cheaper https://book.splitticketing.com/. You stay on the same train but have two tickets (often split at York for the East Coast Line). I also would second getting a friends and family railcard if going by train and if your 12 year old comes with you. Thinks like duvets etc can be ordered on-line for delivery straight there. I would suggest booking accommodation fast as this tend to get booked up early for moving in to University weekends. There are advantages of having a car there eg you take more with you, do an initial shop once you are there. If going by train,you need to get to Kings Cross. There is usually parking space on Linden Grove near Nunhead Station and it's easier to access than Peckham Rye Station (unless you live close to Herne Hill Station).

Congratulations to your daughter!

[Penguin68]

Going (quite) far away to University is a big thing - and with changes flowing from Covid - not something which others can reassure about - nobody knows this year what first year at University is going to be like (as people, broadly did, pre-Covid). Check what you daughter wants/ will feel most comfortable with. The support of family may be important to her, so maybe make a family event of it if it is. Some will want to be independent - and make their way 'alone'. Others will very definitely not. Clearly you have responsibilities for your younger child as well, but this is very much your older daughter's event - and she should dictate, as much as she can, its form. Involve her in the decision - it will be amongst the first of many she will be taking as a new and independent adult. I recognise that it will be also difficult for you - 'losing' a first child to adult life can be traumatic, but focus on her needs (given your other parental responsibilities) as much as you can.

[malumbu]

Newcastle has limited hotel beds - my organisation would not splash out for the Malmaison so at one point I was near the station in a place that had reviews about noisy stag and hen do's. Last time I stayed in a Guest House in Jesmond, close to the uni, but with the metro you could go further out.

Do try to get to see Byker wall, the Baltic and perhaps Gateshead. A walk along the river early evening as people are going out to the clubs and pubs is illuminating. Sadly the floating nightclub - Tuxedo junction - has long since set sail.

[Pugwash]

Must admit seeing my eldest daughter off at Central Lancashire Uni, made me cry - it was her first step into independence. I had seen her accommodation and met a couple of her flat mates, but that final hug goodbye set me off.

Was not as bad with younger daughter dropping off in Brighton - possibly the nearest to ED was a factor (compared with the 5-6 hour journey to Lancs).

[malumbu]

A general point about comparing cost of transport - cars go beyond the cost of fuel which you can double when you add wear and tear, and quadruple for full life costs.

Obviously they have convenience at your end point, and can carry far more stuff. Got caught once when helping move stuff between rented accommodation about three streets apart. In retrospect the cost of doing this by taxi would have been much less than the fuel driving there and back.

You can get some quality time on the train reading, looking out of the window or boozing. Maybe shouldn't be recommending the boozing. Although the trains up to Newcastle going onto Scotland were famous for the latter - oh dear a bit of a stereotype....

I don't recommend the overnight coaches which I did as a student.... Hitching was fun, but that was another world....