How can I get toddler to sleep through the night????

[Mens]

Desperately need tips on how to get my (still breastfed) 19 month old to sleep through the night.

I am sooo tired and often go to work after waking up seven or eight times during the night to feed her. I somehow got away with it with my first two but it finally seems to be taking its toll on my body...

Any tips, ideas welcome/needed....can't sustain this much longer...

[etta166]

Night-time weaning sounds like your only option. How willing/able is your partner to take over all night-time duties until you have broken the cycle of night waking = milk? I found it impossible to settle my breast-feeding toddler at night because of the association in her mind that mummy = milk, so we only managed to sort out sleeping issues by removing me from the situation entirely for a couple of months.

Good luck!

[canela]

i second that.

[SBot]

Hi. It seems that your little one needs the breast to get back to sleep. It's not hunger it's the association she's made. Like some babies get rocked, have a dummy, music playing, these are all things that the child associates with sleep. She needs to learn to go to sleep by herself, so then when she does wake in the night she will be able to settle herself back to sleep. Maybe introduce a new cuddly toy that is for sleep time only. Do you plan on stopping breast feeding completely?

[bishop]

How often does she feed in the day? My youngest, also 19 months, was still breastfed up until very recently. She woke up 6-9 times from 7pm-7am. She fed on demand during the day, and pretty much was filling herself up with milk and not eating anything much or drinking any water, so was awake constantly at night from hunger etc. The moment I cut down/out her bf intake during the day, she got a lot better- still waking once or twice but nowher near what she was up to previously.

[Mens]

Thank you for the responses.

Planning to keep feeding her until she's two.

When she's with me she feeds all day long, which I really dislike. Although on nursery days when she hasn't filled up on milk she still feeds all night even though she's eaten normally throughout the day (and had unbroken sleep at nursery!!!).

You're all right, the key may be to stop her associating getting back to sleep with milk from mummy.... The one night I had a LONG night out and daddy put her to sleep she didn't bother waking up until the morning. I guess staying away at bedtime might be the solution.

[canela]

mmmmm, when we decided to stop night feeds mr canela used to tell our still BF 3 year old that mummy was out working. if she thought i wasn't there she wouldn't bother waking. can you plan a month of her favourite foods during the day so she doesn't feed so much?

it sounds like BF in general is taking its toll. As a long-time BF-er I know this feeling so well! Did you feed your others until they were two? Are you anaemic or anything? Sounds like with 3 kids, BFing, night waking and working you have an awful lot on your plate! make sure you take care of yourself too!

[Mens]

Thanks Canela. I BF first till she was 10mths. She self weaned as she had developed anaphylaxis. Second was 2 and a half, I didn't crack the night feed thing, just told her one day that it was her last feed ever and she was fine with it.

I probably need to buy vitamins.

7 and a half years of either pregnancy or feeding is wearing me out...

[shaunag]

I went cold turkey night weaning with mine at 23 months. After about a week she stopped wakin at all looking for it. She now sleeps like a log- literally nothing wakes her. We all get more sleep and are happier for it. But, I hated having to do the weaning, I wasn't ready to give up, but there were lots of reasons why I needed to. If 24 months is the magic no, then you only need to struggle through another 5 months. If you are feeling like you can't cope with the tiredness, maybe worth a re-think on what you want vs what you need. Good luck. X

[canela]

that happened to my sister. her little one was 20 months and wanting to BF constantly day and night, and suddenly she just couldn't go on. she was so tired, and the tiredness was taking its toll on the whole family. in the end she weaned him to a bottle - which i know is what you're not meant to do, but it gave her the break she so desperately needed. he didn't seem to really notice to be honest. just wanted lots of milk in whatever form. then when she had her strength back she weaned him off the bottle, and onto more solids. like with previous poster, she had wanted to continue BF for longer, but realised she was at the end of her tether. not saying that is what you should do tho. just that every situation is different, and sometimes we all try to be super mum.

[Mens]

Yeah.... I probably should stop. I have started feeling annoyed whenever she comes towards me, poor thing.

One of the problems is that she had a brain infection last year and the only thing she had for two weeks was breastmilk. The Drs were really supportive and couldn't believe she didn't need a drip.

Even though her getting ill was completely random and extremely unlucky, I still need to convince myself that even if it does happens again it doesn't necessarily matter if I am feeding her or not....

Will soldier on until I've talked myself round......

[Smiler]

I nightweaned my one year old using Dr Jay Gordon approach, 5 nights of hell but worked, and continued to bfeed her in the day until she was over two. She is still not the best sleeper mind you.

[WorkingMummy]

Like Shuanug I did nighttime weaning cold turkey at about 21 months. Awful at first but very rapidly got better. Kick started it by sending LO to her favourite aunty's overnight, which worked really well. Agree with others that it will help you both if someone else could step in as a circuit breaker.

Sounds like you understandably have mixed feelings about stopping nightime b/f??? You sound exhausted, and are annoyed when she needs it, but on the other hand when she was very ill your b/f really improved her chances/helped her. Also after 7 years it must be a difficult thing to say goodbye to, on one level.

This sounds a bit cringey, and just ignore if unhelpful, but do you need to give yourself permission to take your sleep back after all these years of satisfying but exhausting devotion to successive children; to put your need for sleep above your daughter's wanting you at night?

I may be talking to my own situation when I say this. Like I say, please ignore if not helpful.

[Mens]

Yes, I need to get into the mindset of realising that I am important too.

I like Dr Jay Gordon's approach...will try that actually...

[canela]

you (we all!) need to be able to honestly assess your own situation and your own limits. you are important for you. you are also important because if you get sick/over-tired/depressed and just cannot go on, the repercussions are felt by everyone who depends on you. if you don't listen to your body and mind when they speak quietly, they will start to shout.... (from personal experience....)

[Mens]

Oh my gosh!!! I've cracked it!!

Last night I said "mummy's not going to feed you anymore at night but I will feed you at wakey, wakey time". She said "ok" and slept all night. She also went down to sleep without a feed tonight!!!

I guess she was feeding because I "taught" her to do this.

She actually seems relieved to be able to sleep now!! I can't believe how different some babies are! Gosh!!

[lucyA1308]

Well done.