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Having spent most of my time in the Music room I finally pluck up the courage and enter the Quiet room

Reverentially walks past Keef's Lazyboy and nervously mumbles "hello" to all in the room

Sits down on a spare beanbag hoping that it isn't someones favourite seat

Quietly starts to leaf through Mockney's discarded Big Book of Facts

*Wanders in through door after Antarctic stroll to feed the penguins*

*removes fake yak fur gloves and hood and goggles and raises a hello towards Ben, Bagpuss and Dulwichmum*


*pours out 5 hot toddies, hands four out and sprinkles the last over the pudlle - changes into Hawaiian shirt and linen slacks to soak up the evening sun*


*ohh apparently a bee has 5,000 nostrils*

Tears huge expanse of white fabric from enormous petticoat and ties it around Mr Ants leg.


Gives dirty look to Mr Ben, and thinks to self "this man has a young family to support - poor darling".


Hears distant growling of Mr Batdog from handbag.


Smiles to self.


Takes can of Stella Artois from chiller cabinet in handbag and divides out two half pint measures for Mr Piers and Mr Ant.

Tramps into quiet room wearing enormous pair of aqua blue Crocs - stained with black coal dust, and pristine white Jeans. Looks down at feet and scowls...


Sits on aubergine velvet arm chair by the window next to chums. Takes three Vente Lattes (Starbucks naturally) from capacious handbag and offers to chums. Takes large cake box from hand bag, containing pretentious cake from Au Ciel in the Village, a large Global Japanese folded steel knife, side plates, forcs and napkins.


Cake anyone?

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