Quiet room...

[Huguenot]

*scratch scratch*

*shuffle*

*scratch*

*pat pat pat*

"Aha, there's the flipping bung"

[KoolBananas]

ahem! ahem!

Oh for a light!!

[Jah Lush]

*Walks in...lights blue touch paper....stands well back.*

[Jah Lush]

BANG!

[dulwichmum]

In the name of God! I was trying to sleep...

Does anyone have a nail file?

[Michael Palaeologus]

Darling DM, at your advancing age one needs plenty of sleep. Arent we another year down at the end of the week? Is it a special one? I this when you get your reduced price bus pass?

[will dex]

*cling cling cling cling*

*8 bottles of 1/2 price carlsberg from sommerfeild roll across the floor*

[Moos]

*cracks open the Special Brew*

In here, Keef!

[Moos]

We've ditched that thread, LuvPeckham, come into the Quiet Room for beer and first aid.

[dulwichmum]

Sweet Michael,

Lean over here sweetie, I have just renewed the batteries in my dog stunner...

[Michael Palaeologus]

Oh here you are! You disappear for weeks on end, ignore the birthday greetings of your chums, hurl the memory of Batdog in my face in our first discussion after your re-appearance AND claim that the procurement of a canine mop was the cause of this vile treatment. Pah!

*Stomps off to the Library to sulk*

[dulwichmum]

Oh Michael darling,

Can you even begin to imagine how much havoc one small dog can visit on my minimalist yet capacious home (did I mention that it has the square footage of the new Terminal 5 at Heathrow?)?

You can call me superficial if you must, but I am a devoted mother, dog owner (ITS A DAMN LABRADOODLE AND NOT A COCKAPOO IN CASE YOU MEET ME IN THE PARK AVEC ENFANTS ET CHIEN) and wine drinker. The financial insititutions of the planet have been trundling towards hell in a handcart, so I have been a little pre-occupied. I have been missing you Michael, and to be honest, your perky yet masculine physique, ginger top and jolly japes always draw me back, try though I might to stay away, you always win me back. I simply can't stay away...(gasp)

[Michael Palaeologus]

Meh!

Try harder ;-)

[dulwichmum]

Oh Michael dear one, you know how I find it hard to resist you. Yes I am a married lady and sex repulses me, but there is something about you I cannot resist. I am torn between an undeniable need for my husbands extensive fortune and the fact that you have knuckles like hams and bear a striking resemblance to Frank Butcher.

[Michael Palaeologus]

Doh!

RICKYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[dulwichmum]

Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I finding men like you simply fascinating Frank... er, I mean Michael!

[mockney piers]

*ssshhhhhhhhwwwwwshhhhhhhhhhwwwwooooosshshhsssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhh*

*dunnnnnnnngggggggg*

*dunggggggggggggggg*

*ssshhhhhhhhwwwwwsshhhhhwwwwoooOOOOoosshshwwwwwwwsssssssshhhhhhhhhhh*

 

[bignumber5]

*hem hem*

*could i just...*

*thanks, sorry*

*sorry*

*just wanted to...*

*thanks, sorry*

[dulwichmum]

Wafts in behind enormous Chinese screen, removes bath robe and jumps onto PowerPlate. Switches on.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

OHMYGOD! This simply has to be doing something!

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

[Michael Palaeologus]

Congratulations DM. You have managed to make the whole of the EDF membership blush........

Wanton Woman.

[KalamityKel]

speak for yaself MP *rolls eyes and sighs*

*&^&%*$"edited for my inability to type this morning!

[dulwichmum]

Gosh! I look super fabulous from my vibratory exercises. I adore my Power Plate.

Wafts out from behind screen and marches Michael in to show him what the noise was.

"See!"

"How incredibly foul minded you are young man."

Pours out large glass of Chablis. Sits down on Power Plate, accidentally leans on "on" switch...

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ OHMYGOD!!!

[Moos]

*sits with hands over eyes*

Not looking! Not looking! Not looking!

Pass me a glass when you're done, DM.

[Michael Palaeologus]

Dm. Your face, it looks a little different. You look very much like, what is it? Ah yes - the Mummy of Tutankhamen. Strangely shiny, emotionless and lifeless. An improvement it has to be said.

Has there been a little filler applied? Some essence of the excretions of nubile Au-pairs imbibed?

Really you are too thin, your bones are standing out - what you need is a good curry.

[dulwichmum]

Michael dear heart, one can never be too rich or too thin.

And no, I have not had Botox or fillers ... (lately), my face is motionless because I am ethinolic (hic).