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Jumps on Keef, sits on chest (I am as light as a feather naturally) tries to extract cigarettes from Keefs clenched hand saying "It is for your own good" - eventually gives in as not physically capable of removing cigarettes from the great muscular mountain of a man that Keef is ...


Cries out loud like a baby (it works for my daughter), Keef gives in and hands over cigarettes. Runs around quiet room punching the air with delight.


Decides to try the same tactic to get Keefs wallet off him. Jumps on Keefs chest...

Totters back into quiet room laden with purchases from Ed sale. Drags Keef behind enormous Japanese screen in the manner of Trinny and Susannah.


Throws Keefs clothes over the top of screen while make-over progresses.


Pushes Keef out from behind screen.


Holds up sign "what do you think of Keefs new look? Was the spiral perm a step too far? I think it accentuates his chisled cheek bones..."

*Niiice - although I am not sure the permed gypsy look will go down well on LL. With his empty wallet, permed hair, flowery skirt, head scarf and hoop earings - he may be mistaken for a miscreant*


*Still, makes a nice change from the usual Jermyn St suits, egyptian cotton shirts and silk ties*


*I think DM may hae a taken a toot too many of the Benalin*

* Shuffles into the room before anyone else stirs *

* Picks up the sorry-ass caftiere and decides it's not up to the job *

* grabs a solitary owl from behind the top shelf who though he had survived the cull, paints it white, pops it on ebay as a rarity, and nets several hundred pounds withing 5 minutes *

* Takes money down to Argos and buys a fleet of coffee machines *

* grinds some Blue Mountain beans and instantly regrets the noise *

* finally - sets all the coffee machines to "on" and leaves the room to the sound of percolating heaven *

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