The Baby Whisperer - Would you Recommend?

[Salsie]

I have looked at a few reviews for this book and it seems to be good for giving babies a routine but nothing as rigid as Gina Ford.

My baby is 8 weeks old and I wondered if anyone has used/followed this book and if they recommend it or not for tips/ideas.

Be interested to hear peoples views and also if they would recommend a different one. We are trying to follow a loose routine and don't want anything too rigid.

Thanks!

Sally

[astrid83]

I don't have my own kids (but expecting my first in June) and only have experience of The Baby Whisperer from when I worked as a nanny several years ago. The baby was 10 weeks old when I started and we used The Baby Whisperer / EASY routine for his sleep and feeds. He slept really well and slept through the night 7 pm - 7 am when I started with him.

It worked well for them.

Saying that, I don't know if his good sleeping habits was due to the routine or the fact that he just liked sleeping!

[Pickle]

I've never used Baby Whisperer, but did use Gina Ford for baby #1, meaning #2 and #3 sort of followed on from that too. Following a Gina Ford, or any other routine, doesn't mean you have to be "rigid". Read a few books if that's the approach you like, and take from them the elements you think will be useful to you, your family, and your baby.

No matter what book you read, you'll eventually find most babies settle into a similar sleep pattern. Gina Ford timings worked for us, I've had three babies who have all slept through the night from a young age and have good daytime sleep patterns. I didn't use anything from her book other than the timings for feeds/naps (and haven't actually opened the book for nearly 6 years).

[katgod]

Yes, EASY is a great ' routine' in that there are no times/rules, it is just about getting into good habits like not feeding to sleep. The language is cheesy with phrases i can only assume were intended to sell her as a Brit in the Usa. but the ideas and philosophy i really liked. and it helps you understand crying and really looks at it from the baby's point of view. so ignore the style and enjoy a friendly helpful book.

[mima08]

Hiya, I liked the baby whisperer because it suggested a pattern (i.e. an order to follow) rather than a routine of set timings (but as Pickle says, those dont' have to be rigid either). From various threads on here, personal experience and friends/family it becomes clear that there is no-one solution that suits everyone. We never managed to get the proper EASY pattern going but a lot of other things in the Babywhisperer did really work - I know others who it worked for fantastically and others again where it did not. A good tip we were given is to try things for a week and see how it goes.

Good luck

mx

[canela]

i had a different experience. i tried to use but i got confused and conflict stressed. in the end my hobby threw it away and i was so relieved. maybe i was trying to follow to the letter too much . and feeling a failure when it didn't work like she said it should. whatever approach you choose, remember you are the best person to decide about your baby and find out what works for you.

[Saffron]

Similar experience to canela... some babies just aren't "by the book" with routines, sleep etc. Worth a go, of course, if you think it looks interesting, but don't get too caught up if it doesn't work out. I really like this book: http://www.thewonderweeks.com/ . This is also interesting for an anthropological viewpoint on early development: http://www.continuum-concept.org/book.html . xx

[edanna]

Like Katgod said, good principles, cringeworthy writing style. Worth a go I'd say. Worked for me with no 1 in the early days. Would also v much recommend Teach your child to sleep by Millpond Clinic. Although the advice covers much older children, it does have stuff about getting into good sleep habits early on, which you're still in a position to take advantage of.

[oimissus]

I didn't like it, though a friend swore by it. I used Your baby week by week which I found very helpful.

[bluesuperted]

I did the opposite of a routine but read on Kellymom this week that the BW book is not very compatible with breastfeeding if that's what you are doing.

http://kellymom.com/parenting/reviews/review_babywhisperer/

If anyone is interested in reading a non-routine approach I really recommend a newcomer book BabyCalm

http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/0749958286

It's an easy peasy read, very evidence based - although very clearly anti-routine from early ages and pro Attachment Parenting principles. It talks a lot, like Canela and Saffron have said, about not expecting your baby to be textbook and trusting your own intuition. Have also heard excellent things about Margot Sunderland's What Every Parent Needs to Know.

[Cheryl_M]

I agree with Canela and Saffron. Every baby is different so please don't try to stick to a routine. I stupidly beat myself up in the early days when my baby wasn't following the routine but then realised babies are just like adults, some days we are hungrier and more tired than others. Go with your instinct and it will create a nicer environment for you and your lovely baby.

[Salsie]

Thanks for all your replies. I think I will give it a go. We are in a kind of routine anyway and I am fairly relaxed about things but I thought it might just give me a few more pointers/tips. i.e the learning about your babies cries and the EASY method.

She is generally a very good baby but just having few difficulties with the early evening feed/sleep where she wont settle from about 7/8pm until the next feed (which I understand is quite common) but this then takes up most of mine and my boyfriends evening and invariably the few hours we have together. It can also give me a feeling of dread about the night ahead, which is a bit silly as she pretty much then settles really well after this for the rest of the night!

If anyone has one they are looking to sell please let me know and I will come and collect; if not I will buy one.

[MichelleT]

My baby was bottle fed (tongue tie) so I liked the BW - wasn't rigid, but worked for me as a framework.

[Pickle]

That unsettled period is very common, all of my babies were the same up to around the 8 week mark, but like you we then had very settled nights. Once we cracked the 7pm bedtime it was plain sailing from then on, so don't despair :-)

[canela]

I would really recommend checking out

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/may/28/carlos-gonzalez-doctor-parents-break-rules

I read Besame Mucho (Kiss me!) - which is kind of the opposite scale to the BW. I guess most people kind position themselves somewhere in the middle where they feel comfortable - but whatever your standpoint the book is really interesting as it gives a history of childcare approaches and techniques, and almost presents them as fashions, obviously influenced by other thinking, science of the time etc. I found that really useful as most of the other books i read presented their particular theory as the be-all and end-all and completely non-negotiable.

[oimissus]

one thing about BW that I'm really not happy about is that it recommends controlled crying before 6 months - only it doesn't call it that, it calls it spaced soothing, but it is the same thing. I followed this advice, not realizing this (having not read much about CC at that point) and although I don't have anything against CC and Miss Oi at 3 years old doesn't seem scarred by this :), I'm annoyed that I did it too early on this book's advice. Maybe that was me being a bit dim, but worth pointing out.

[bluesuperted]

Have heard excellent things about Carlos Gonzalez (his other book is My Child Won't Eat which sounds really reassuring and sensible about how all babies and children are at times picky eaters and that being laid back about food is the best tool we have to 'combat' this). I haven't read his books but it sounds very similar to BabyCalm which explains about trends in parenting books too and even though its pro- AP I think it wouldn't scare off people who didn't want to go the whole 9 yards with AP - in fact the author talks about her own non-AP path and constantly reiterates parents having the choice of doing what they feel is right for them at every juncture.

If anyone would like to borrow my BabyCalm book, let me know, I'm a bit heavily pregnant at the moment but live just off PR common and would be happy to loan it out for a few weeks.

[bluesuperted]

Is that true Oimissus (I've never read it personally)? That is really bad given current advice, especially as I think lots of people choose BW thinking it's a gentler approach to other routine books. The comment highlighted in my link above about wiping off nipples after BFs made me laugh too, seems to be a lot of misinformation within the book...

[rgracieg]

Hi salsie

I have two copies of the bw, you are welcome to have the spare copy just pm me and I'll send you my address

[canela]

to be honest, i got so annoyed at her "this is all so easy-peasy, just like mummy used to say" attitude that I started to imagine other names for her initials....

i especially didn't like my newborn being classified as a "grumpy baby" according to her quick quiz on what kind of baby you have! might have loved her if he had been classified an "angel baby" though...

[Convex]

the baby sense secret is good too

whatever you read, id say read more than 1 and then you can take out what you like of it (like pickle says above)

i did 'gina light' which was using the milk and food times from Gina Ford but taking most of my advice from baby sense and other mums.

[oimissus]

yes, it's in there, bluesuperted, or it was around 3 years ago. Pretty poor, huh?

[buggie]

I loved BW, successfully (and I feel more baby led than me lead) breast fed with it & deaf I rely didn't see any mention of anything sounding remotely like CC in it.

Found it really helped me put into perspective how to get myself organised (but being lead by the baby) & gave me the c

[buggie]

I loved BW, successfully (and I feel more baby led than me lead) breast fed with it & deaf I rely didn't see any mention of anything sounding remotely like CC in it.

Found it really helped me put into perspective how to get myself organised (but being lead by the baby) & gave me the confidence/knowledge to pick up on when/how Bugglet wanted to change nap/feeding patterns.

[oimissus]

that's because I'm even dimmer than I thought, got my baby books mixed up. Baby Secrets is what I'm thinking of! Ignore me . . .