Ruskin park - word of warning

[Skin_deep]

Dear all,

Just now, at Ruskin Park playground, I noticed an older man (white, late 60s/early 70s, 5?11) watching the children playing for at least 20 min. At first I thought he was a grandad waiting for a family to leave but he left alone, in direction past the splash pool.

This could be completely innocent and he could just be enjoying watching the children play however it made me uncomfortable enough to put on here.

Let?s be better safe than sorry especially as it?s getting darker earlier.

[KidKruger]

What behaviours exhibited by the gentleman, specifically, made you uncomfortable ?

[Skin_deep]

Pacing up and down the perimeter fence of playground, occasionally putting his hands in pockets and making an up and down motion within them.

Again, I would hate to vilify this man especially as it could of been completely innocent but it was quite the peculiar movement.

I didn?t want to add assumptions in my first post but seeing as you asked I have elaborated.

[MonkeySee]

My grandfather used to put his hand in his pocket to try to control and mask his shakes. Hopefully it was something innocuous like that

[Sue]

Thank you for making people aware, Skin_deep.

[FallingDownMoment]

Was this the man? I believe he has form...

[AylwardS]

Skin_deep, thanks for posting. everyone should be wary but as you say it could be innocent

Be alert but also be kind. There will be grandparents who haven?t seen their grandchildren and want to see that carefree attitude only children have. Unfortunately there are also those with less innocent motives.

[JohnL]

FallingDownMoment Wrote:

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> Was this the man? I believe he has form...

There do seem to be parallels. The same questions though - is someone lonely and others perceive as strange or is someone malicious.

https://www.theguardian.com/film/2020/oct/21/rudy-giuliani-faces-questions-after-compromising-scene-in-new-borat-film

[anonymous_third_part]

Not all older men on their own in parks are peados.

[KidKruger]

That?s obvious.

Which is why the OP has been careful with their words.

So...?

anonymous_third_part Wrote:

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> Not all older men on their own in parks are

> peados.

[Jules-and-Boo]

Similar post on here a while back about a man in Dulwich Park watching kids in playground.

[KidKruger]

Bloke I knew years ago his wife left him and took their young kids (she went to the man she?d been having an affair with), he had to go through the courts to see his kids again, against lies about him being dangerous etc.

His time with kids was reduced from 24/7 to zero overnight, then months later he only could see them through a contact centre (until social services realised that, guess what, he was safe to be near his own children).

He used to spend hours near school playgrounds (at lunchtime when at work) and parks / playgrounds, just to hear children sounds. Poor poor bastard.

Instantly assuming a man near children is a kiddie-fiddler is shameful, not that the OP has done this.

[Chick]

No but other people have in the past.

[KidKruger]

Yes I think they have, also veiled accusations of racism.

But call people out for it and they scatter like scared pigeons, demanding you spell out your accusation while hiding behind the fact they didn?t have the spine to fully spell out theirs.

But that?s another thread subject I guess.. !

[jimlad48]

Did you observe any laws being broken?

Are there any byelaws preventing this person being there?

Did you call the police at the time?

If the answer to the above 3 questions is NO, then How dare you post allegations, online, implying that someone is a Paedophile if you had no intention of doing anything practical to stop it.

How would you like it if your father was the man in question, and you logged into discover someone calling your father a paedo?

I really hate the people who think its okay to not do or say anything practical, but its perfectly fine to post the gravest possible inference online and character assasinate someone without having the moral courage to confront them or do something about it.

Next time, intead of logging into EDF either dial 999 or heaven forbid, speak to them.

[Sue]

The OP was very careful in his or her wording.

If I had children young enough to go to playgrounds I would be glad of a heads up.

To suggest calling 999 is ridiculous.

ETA: And the man in question has not been named or otherwise identified on here.

[JohnL]

jimlad48 Wrote:

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> Did you observe any laws being broken?

>

> Are there any byelaws preventing this person being

> there?

>

> Did you call the police at the time?

>

If you're single and male you do notice there are things you are expected not to do in todays world It's not against the law just frowned upon and most people don't want to be the object of gossip even anonymously and don't want to make people feel threatened in any way either.

Some people don't pick up on these rules for various reasons.

[KidKruger]

fair points I guess, just a shame that people don't recognise and act according to fact that the majority of what is being feared above happens within the extended family and it's social circle, not strangers in parks in front of parents.

In which case why should innocent males have to 'watch their behaviour' when they are out minding their own business ?!

[KidKruger]

I don't know, I'd suggest that if one fears a specific man is a child abuser then confront them or call 999 before considering warning people on the internet. One is taking action, the other is starting rumours. It's worst level curtain-twitching.

Sue Wrote:

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> The OP was very careful in his or her wording.

>

> If I had children young enough to go to

> playgrounds I would be glad of a heads up.

>

> To suggest calling 999 is ridiculous.

>

> ETA: And the man in question has not been named or

> otherwise identified on here.

[Sue]

Skin_deep has explained why they posted.

And if they hadn't done, and then something untoward happened, how do you think they would feel?

Do you honestly think it would be better to have used up scarce police resources by dialling 999 on the basis of an uncomfortable feeling?

Or to "confront" the man in question themselves? What would they say? I don't feel comfortable with you watching the children for so long when you don't seem to be with any of them?

I was once in a similar situation in the playground in Brockwell Park, although in this case the man in question appeared to be possibly taking pictures of the children on an iPad, whilst ostensibly sitting on a seat in the playground "reading" the iPad at an angle.

He wasn't with any children. Two community police officers appeared, and he put the iPad in his bag, but they didn't approach him.

I wasn't able to talk to them because I was with two small children on the other side of the playground, and I couldn't leave them alone.

I've always regretted not in some way doing something, particularly as I assume the police were there for a reason. If that had been a park more local to me I might well have posted something on here.

Many playgrounds have notices up saying that adults are not allowed unless accompanied by children. I don't know whether the one in Ruskin Park has?

It's a bit of a stretch to call posting on here starting rumours or curtain twitching. I'd say it was a reasonable action from somebody who felt sufficiently uneasy about a situation to share their unease and explain why.

[KidKruger]

?And if they hadn't done, and then something untoward happened, how do you think they would feel? ?

It?s up to individuals how they react to things they have or have not done, Sue.

I can?t represent reactions for individuals, especially people I don?t know, their reactions are up to them.

A person could only feel bad about not posting on the Internet, but not about failing to call the police ?

Well, thank God we invented the Internet!

I guess this means that before the Internet people would just ignore the behaviour.

?Do you honestly think it would be better to have used up scarce police resources by dialling 999 on the basis of an uncomfortable feeling??

If I didn?t, I wouldn?t have suggested (above) calling the police would I?

And I certainly wouldn?t put concerns over calling the police before the welfare of children.

? Or to "confront" the man in question themselves? What would they say? I don't feel comfortable with you watching the children for so long when you don't seem to be with any of them? ?

What they would say is up to them, I am nobody?s script writer.

Perhaps they would need to say something along the lines of what their actual concerns are and why they have those concerns, otherwise approaching them would be kind of pointless, wouldn?t it ?

As you have emphasised yourself before Sue, people put opinions on the forum because, err, it?s a forum...!

And your anecdote - I thought taking pictures in public is legal wherever you point your camera (apart from upskirt, obvs)...

[jimlad48]

If you're genuinely concerned about the welfare of children, then call 999.

No police officer will ever chastise you for doing what you genuinely felt was the right thing to do.

Perhaps a good test is 'if I wasn't prepared to call 999 as the risk seemed genuine, why am I prepared to conduct an online anonymous character assassination of someone that I didnt feel needed action to be taken at the time".

Either the risk is real, in which case call the police, or the risk is imagined, in which case there is no need to share further.

[Sue]

I can only think that some of the people posting on this thread have not properly read the OP or his/her subsequent post in answer to a question.

As regards taking pictures, many (possibly all) schools etc no longer allow pictures to be taken of the children within school grounds except in official school photographs and/or with parental permission. And many (all?) have changed to solid fences to prevent people looking in at the children playing.

I have once or twice wanted to take a picture of a child I didn't know (not in a playground) and I have always asked the parent's permission, which is the obvious thing to do.

If you would be happy for a man you didn't know, with no children of his own present, to be apparently taking secret photos of your children in a playground, KK, fine. Each to their own.

Anyway, this thread has wandered far from the purpose of the original post, and it is clear that we are not going to agree.

[KidKruger]

? If you would be happy for a man you didn't know, with no children of his own present, to be apparently taking secret photos of your children in a playground, KK, fine. Each to their own.?

You can extrapolate what you want Sue, just be clear that?s your opinion.

I said that as far as I know taking pics in public places is legal (meaning you can?t do sweet FA about it).

If I want to say something I?ll say it, you don?t need to extend my logic for me, thank you all the same !

[seenbeen]

Maybe he should set up an easel and do a L.S. Lowry: There's one in the Tate called 'Coming Out of School'