Breastfeeding Advice Please!

[cornelia]

When I had my baby less than two years ago, none of the midwives we saw in the first ten days after the birth knew anything about breastfeeding, and apart from advising me to top up with formula they didn't offer any help at all - in fact, I asked about expressing milk instead and they referred me to the yellow NHS leaflet for instructions on how to do it.

Imagine my surprise when I couldn't get anything to come out - sounded so easy in the leaflet.

So by all means take formula along - especially if not keen to breastfeed - and don't assume anyone will be able to help if you do have problems. (I heard some real gems... One senior paediatric nurse even told me I need to drink milk to be able to make milk!)

[midivydale]

Hey buttercup,

I had my baby at kings in march this year and they do provide aptamil as others have said. The mw said that if you plan to formula feed you should bring your own but if you plan to bf and for whatever reason it doesnt work out you will be provided with aptamil. They also have a pump that you can use and mw will help you.

I had no bottles/formula at home or in my bag as it didnt occur to me that bf may not work out. I wish that antenatal

Classes had Covered the fact that it may not work out.

For us it didnt, for a number of reasons (most of which were medical) and i had to stop.

Heartbreaking at the time and the pressure and insensitivity from others made it so much harder.

For me - not bf wasnt a choice i made, circumstances meant it wasnt an option for me.

What i am trying to say is that i understand the pressure and it is hard.

Dont be bullied - we all know "breast is best " but formula fed babies have just as capable and loving mothers.

Good luck with whatever decision YOU make for YOUR baby.

It can get abit heated in here whenever bf is discussed or even mentioned, if you have other questions please feel free to pm me if you prefer some privacy.

All the best

Xx

[Pickle]

When I had baby #3 in January I was on the post natal ward for a few hours afterwards. One of the Mums was getting (from what I overheard) great one on one assistance with BFing from what seemed to be a specialist midwife, the other two were getting equally as supportive assistance with the ins and outs of bottle feeding. I was sitting reading a magazine enjoying the relative peace and quiet before going home and facing life with 3 children ;)

It is completely your choice, and I think Kings are pretty good at backing up the decisions made by Mums.

Good luck, I hope all goes well for you in the next few weeks.

[littlebelka]

Buttercup, if there would be any problems with BF, speak to the midwifes or ask to be referred to La Leche League. And the rest is up to you.

[lucyA1308]

All the advice here about what others did is not really necessary if you seem to have made up your mind, but I would urge you to make sure your partner is really on board with your decision.

The bonus of being able to breast feed is that the food is always there when ever your baby needs it. No warming up / cooling down milk, while the baby is crying with hunger. Sterilising bottles. Coming down to a cold kitchen in the middle of the night to re-load the next bottle etc etc. (These are just the reasons that I prefered to breast feed, but that is not to say breast feeding dowen't have it's down sides too).

I just felt that I could quite happily get on with breastfeeding without creating too much extra work for me.

If you do decide to bottle feed, do make sure that your partner is cool with this, and will be some help to you with the preparing - particularly in the early days, when you still feel very tired.

[susyp]

If you don't want to breast feed don't let your partner force you into it. Some men can be very adamant about it but they are not the ones stuck at home doing it! Breast feeding is lovely but bottle feeding gives you a lot more freedom in my opinion. Wish I had done it earlier.

Just sounding the other side of the issue not going to get drawn into any discussion here!

Good luck with however it works out. Try and enjoy the first few months, they are very hard, and you need to do whatever you find creates less stress.

Susypx

[LondonMix]

The OP didn't ask for help making the decision about how to feed her infant so its not our business to advise her or try to influence her. Just because you don't understand her decision doesn't open it up to discussion. All choices come with pros and cons and everyone weighs these up differently for their families.

SusyP, I agree men sometimes have strong opinions about things women should do with their bodies. One of my dearest friend's wife recently admitted to me that her husband bullied her into having a vaginal birth (despite being warned her baby was very large) and she bitterly regrets it. He is one of my dearest friends but I was furious with him on her behalf!

ButtercupSE11, if there is a special brand you want to use, I would suggest you bring it along. Good luck!

lucyA1308 Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> All the advice here about what others did is not

> really necessary if you seem to have made up your

> mind, but I would urge you to make sure your

> partner is really on board with your decision.

>

> The bonus of being able to breast feed is that the

> food is always there when ever your baby needs it.

> No warming up / cooling down milk, while the baby

> is crying with hunger. Sterilising bottles. Coming

> down to a cold kitchen in the middle of the night

> to re-load the next bottle etc etc. (These are

> just the reasons that I prefered to breast feed,

> but that is not to say breast feeding dowen't have

> it's down sides too).

>

> I just felt that I could quite happily get on with

> breastfeeding without creating too much extra work

> for me.

>

> If you do decide to bottle feed, do make sure that

> your partner is cool with this, and will be some

> help to you with the preparing - particularly in

> the early days, when you still feel very tired.

[gillandjoe]

R & A wrote:

"gillandjoe Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I wonder why you are so set against breastfeeding,

> buttercup? Is there a reason? Just interested!

What makes you think the OP is set against bf???

She says she wants to bf in her post and asks a practical question about taking forumla into hospital

Pls don't try and turn this thread into an attack on another mother's choice, whatever that may be

That may not be your intention - but saying 'set against bf' sounds like you're picking a fight"

Actually, I was just curious as buttercup did say she had no intention of breastfeeding past the first few days. It seems an uncommon viewpoint in an expectant mother and I was wondering if there was an interesting reason for it.

Maybe you should read back, R&A, and get the full picture before you start accusing me of picking a fight. Completely and utterly ridiculous post from you, I must say. If I want to pick a fight with someone now, it will be you, not Buttercup.

[gillandjoe]

Buttercup wrote:

"Also I think there is a pressure to breast feed. My partner wants me to breast feed for the first 6 months but I have told him that I want to do it during our time in hospital and once we arrive home until the bottles are sterilised and made. He's not too happy about this but I've said it's my body and it's what I want to do."

Amen, R&A

[R&A]

.

[sillywoman]

susyp Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Breast feeding is lovely but

> bottle feeding gives you a lot more freedom in my

> opinion.

> Susypx

And from the opposite corner; having done both formula feeding & breastfeeding, I feel just the opposite. I was much freer to travel, go where I liked & do what I wanted, when I wanted with my breastfed children than I ever was when dominated by the tyranny of finding water to boil & cool, a place to sterilise bottles and making sure I had enough bottles/powder/ready made formula/ or shops that were open where I could buy it.

Just making sure both sides of the case are stated. :)

[gillandjoe]

R & A - you are wrong. The OP clearly stated that she had no intention of giving breastfeeding a go past the colostrum stage. You are also wrong in assuming I meant to be confrontational - I was actually just curious.

The purpose of a forum is to discuss issues and it is commonly accepted that threads have a tendency to digress in interesting ways past the original purpose of the first post. It is what most people understand as a kind of conversation. I can't understand why you would find a simple question like, 'I wonder why you are so set against breastfeeding, buttercup? Is there a reason? Just interested' provocative and offensive. It makes me wonder how you make it through each day dealing with people if a simple question like that offends you. Get a life!

[LondonMix]

Decisions on how to feed infants has become a bit of a polemic in the "mommy wars". I think it?s a kind of understood taboo to openly question someone?s choice on something that is a deeply personal matter and that really isn?t anyone else?s business. Even if you are just curious, since it?s a rather sensitive topic people will often take it as an attack these days regardless of your intentions.

If you are really curious, I can give you a list a mile long though ask me on another thread as not to hijack this one. There are clearly pros and cons and everyone experiences these differently (Susyp found formula more convenient for her life and Sillywoman found breast feeding more convenient for instance).

[Saffron]

gillandjoe Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> R & A - you are wrong. The OP clearly stated that

> she had no intention of giving breastfeeding a go

> past the colostrum stage. You are also wrong in

> assuming I meant to be confrontational - I was

> actually just curious.

Fair enough.

>

> The purpose of a forum is to discuss issues and it

> is commonly accepted that threads have a tendency

> to digress in interesting ways past the original

> purpose of the first post. It is what most people

> understand as a kind of conversation. I can't

> understand why you would find a simple question

> like, 'I wonder why you are so set against

> breastfeeding, buttercup? Is there a reason? Just

> interested' provocative and offensive.

I also thought the statement I wonder why you are so set against breastfeeding, buttercup? was, shall I say, oddly phrased. This is particularly true in so far as the OP never says she's against bfing, merely that she does plan to bottle feed. However, she also says that to start she does want to breastfeed. I found the statement odd because it assumes for the OP a position she categorically does not take for herself in her opening post. I don't find it offensive (I'm pretty hard to offend, though!), but I can see how others might have miscontrued it.

>It makes

> me wonder how you make it through each day dealing

> with people if a simple question like that offends

> you. Get a life!

Makes ME wonder how YOU get through each day dealing with people who you think can't deal with people!

;-) xx

buttercupSE11, If you're happy to have a go at bfing to start, then I agree with others that you probably don't need to bring bottles and formula. Instead, make sure you have enough food, snacks, and drinks packed for yourself. If you labour late at night or early in the morning it may be hard to find snacks and food for yourself that you like. And you might be really hungry after the baby is born if your labour is long and you don't eat much during it.

That being said, you have to pack your bag in such a way that you can sleep at night. If you wake up at night wondering if you should have put bottles in the bag, then just put some bottles in the bag. xx

[gillandjoe]

Please read what the OP wrote herself and get the full picture, Saffron

Buttercup wrote:

"Also I think there is a pressure to breast feed. My partner wants me to breast feed for the first 6 months but I have told him that I want to do it during our time in hospital and once we arrive home until the bottles are sterilised and made. He's not too happy about this but I've said it's my body and it's what I want to do."

I think that it is pretty obvious that she is saying she is choosing to bottlefeed!!! And what is wrong with that? Absolutely nothing, I just found it an intriguing point of view in this 'breast is best' day and age.

Do you not find it interesteing why mothers make their choices in parenting? It is probably the most interesting thing to me, in recent years.

I also find it funny that you have both assumed that I am an evangelical breastfeeder, without asking me, all from a simple question that was without any loaded wording and even finished off saying 'Just interested!' What you might construe from that is that, perhaps, I was just interested!!!!!

[gillandjoe]

PS London Mix, ummm, why would you post, asking a load of perfect strangers, a question about formula with a load of personal background info if you were too sensitive to answer a question about your publicised positions on baby feeding?

[LondonMix]

I think the OP has a right to ask for information regarding formula etc without being asked to justify her choice. As the OP expressly said she feels under pressure from her partner and is unhappy about this I thought it could be seen as a bit insensitive to question her decision and motives (as if the idea is so odd you can't imagine why any reasonable person would make it). Perhaps I am totally wrong though and she'll come back to answer you shortly.

[Family Room Moderator]

Please, ladies (and gents?), try to stick to the topic raised by the original poster and do not turn this into a breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding discussion. If you wish to debate the subject please feel free to start a separate thread.

Many thanks

FRM

[gillandjoe]

This is not a breastfeeding vs bottle debate, moderator. This an argument about the intention behind a question I put to the OP.

LOndonmix, I did not ask the OP to justify her choice. I was simply asking a genuine question because I am interested to know why someone would opt for bottle feeding over breast before having experienced either in real life.

I think I have perhaps hit a raw nerve with some of you and if I have, I apologise. I thought that asking why someone wanted to bottlefeed would be a bit like asking someone why they wanted to be vegetarian. Not a heartbreaking and earth-shattering interrrogation, as you are insinuating. Buttercup hasn't responed because she is probably flabberghasted at all of this nonsense, as I am.

I had no idea an honest question would lead to this kind of rubbish. I take it back, please feed your babies their bottles in peace, free from any judgement from me. If anyone ever asks me about why I breastfed I will remember that the accepted form of repsponse is to bite their head off.

[midivydale]

Everytime bf is mentioned here the OP gets hijacked and so the "debate" sidetracks the question asked by the OP.

Why oh why is it that a vulnarable first time mother can not ask a practical question without the thread being sidetracked about bf!

This happens time and time again and it is nothing but disrespectful.

Please be supportive and answer the questions asked. If you dont have the answer but a burning desire to start a bf debate, start your own threads.

Buttercup, i have replied via pm to you.

X

[Strawbs]

Here is my experience. Had baby strawbs at Tommies who were great, they had lactation consultant type people available everywhere who worked very hard with me to try and get baby strawbs to latch on. BUT reality was my milk didnt come in for 8 days in the end, I had gestational diabetes and as a consequence baby strawbs had to eat 4 times in the first 12 hours of his life so he could be tested so they had to give him formula, all the whilst I was trying to hand express colosturum(sp?), baby strawbs would latch on but I had nothing in there so we ended up in a situation where he was screaming for hours (and I mean about 6 hours before they relented) and I ended up demanding formula as they were very hesitant to give it to me because of the whole 'breast is best' mantra. They ended up relenting and giving me some.

My advice is take your own if you feel that it might be something you want to do, it cant hurt to pack it and if you dont use it then just bring it home. Just go and buy a few small bottles and the ready to go cartons and go from there.

I ended up only breastfeeding for 6 weeks as my gp took him off my breast (not literally haha) because he had such severe reflux and was choking and got put on a paste like formula which he ended up not being on after two weeks as then we discovered he had a dairy allergy! My biggest regret is that as soon as I got home from the hospital I didnt get a lactation consultant in to come and help me, the only way we could get baby strawbs to latch in the end was with a nipple shield, but my supply was so low (or his latch wasnt great) that he would sometimes feed for 3 hours and just scream his head off as he was hungry! I was too embarrassed and tired to head to a breastfeeding cafe either which in hindsight I really wish I had of. For the brief time I did breastfeed I thoroughly enjoyed it and for the next baby I will hopefully have I will get someone in to help me.

Its a totally personal choice re boob or bottle and nothing anyone says should impact your choice so do what you feel is right for you and your baby at the time. Its very easy to judge other mothers and I dont think that is right.. I know when people asked me if I was breastfeeding baby strawbs and I said no I got some filthy looks but if they only knew the reality of what life was like for him and also the tears and guilt I had felt and shed over not being able to feed him they may have thought twice about making me feel even more rubbish than I did.

another piece of advice dont overpack your hospital bag. I took everything under the sun and didnt use a thing. I was induced so in a hospital gown for two days, all I used during labour was chaptstick and a hairband! Pads are definitely important, they gave me a few but then I used my own. The two things I didnt take that I definitely felt I should have is my own pillow and some dark towels, I was given NHS standard issue white towels which were about the size of a handtowel and given how heavily you bleed after birth not sure why white is the standard colour to use! Take some dark towels of your own..

good luck xoxo