Ladies or women?

[civilservant]

???? Wrote:

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> Re surnames| don't take your husbands but keep

> your dad's - right on sisters

well, I share my dad's genes, don't I, so obvs it makes more sense

New Girl's post (i.e. pleading non-englishness etc) triggers the thought that most other cultures don't expect women to take their husband's name upon marriage. Not even in Muslim countries. It seems to be an English practice that's been exported worldwide.

[Otta]

My wife kept her last name, and uses Ms. Our kids have both our names (mine first, but only because it flows better).

[Alan Medic]

My wife is Spanish. She has her father's name, then her mother's and after we were married, mine was added. The law in Spain has since changed and mine got dropped.My son in the Spanish style, has my surname and my wife's father's name. Given that he was born in England, speaks fluent Spanish and has an Irish father, he doesn't even know what nationality he is, never mind caring about what he is called. And some people get het up about being called a Lady. It's a mad world.

[maxxi]

Is Otta's experience the common one among the children of married couples who retain their own surnames?

If the hyphenated offspring of such an arrangement marries someone from a like family and follows their parents' example, do their children have a quadruply-hyphenated surname?

And is there a limit or can someone end up as Smith-Brown Squared?

[Alan Medic]

My son doesn't have a hyphen between his names. Is he missing out? Where did hyphens come from, anyone?

[Asset]

Oo, look, there's the 'het up' again. It's a discussion.....

Check the Wiki entry for lady. It's quite interesting re. The social uses etc. and evidently not a new discussion.

But seeing as how quids' mum would feel insulted being called a woman and thinks lady is polite I'll just have to bite my lip ;-/

Sue - exactly in re. The differentiation in marital status with mrs and miss, though I can't say I've ever filled in a form where the only option is ms. I don't see why we need to have anything really.

[Asset]

AM - hyphens are between the zero and the equals sign

[civilservant]

hyphens! I wonder if people would be quite as keen about them if they knew why they arose. Essentially, hyphens originally denoted that a man had married a woman from a posher family than his own i.e. committed hypergamy. If a Mr Smith married above his station, say to a Miss Jones, then he would take her name and they would become Mr and Mrs Smith-Jones (or even Mr and Mrs Jones).

In my own experience, many of the more modern examples of hyphenation arise because people need to keep track of which of their partners was responsible for helping to produce which sprog...

[Alan Medic]

Some people have taken it to the level of 'het' do you not agree?

[Asset]

or possibly even hysteria?

[Alan Medic]

Asset Wrote:

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> AM - hyphens are between the zero and the equals

> sign

So they are. There's even a little one and a big one. Why is that?

[Asset]

upper and lower class I guess

[Alan Medic]

I'm glad my son isn't stigmatised by the type of hyphen he hasn't got. Having his father is sufficient.

[maxxi]

I suppose if one wanted to be ultra-correct about this, and as the trend for governments to appologise for the actions of their predecessors is on the up, one could trace the old family tree back a few gens and introduce retrospective hypenation based on Grandmothers' (Maternal and paternal) surnames.

If it catches on, credit cards may need to be a lot longer.

[????]

,

[????]

.

[maxxi]

well, yes quids... introducing punctuation marks in lieu would be simpler, more democratic and keep credit cards a handy size. Nice suggestion.

[Mick Mac]

Quids is a gentleman, and therefore of good breeding.

[Huguenot]

I think het is just a past participle of heat. As in 'I got heated up', it's not a variation on hysterical.

Don't want to get into a history/her story dead end.

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

I think Asset was being ironic. Look at the etymology of the word.

[LadyDeliah]

Ladies, let them call us what they want, then blow them out if the water with our skills, determination and fire.

If they don't get the message, a good old scratch of the arse crack or tit crease tends to do the trick.

ETA - any guy who calls me lady is fair game in my book and would get the full force of my slightly macho, competitive nature to show him the difference between a 'lady' and a full blooded, descendant of warriors,'woman'! Lol

[Otta]

Okay LadyDeliah / LadyChe3.

[LadyDeliah]

Being described as a lady is different from using lady as an ironic moniker for the least ladylike woman in ED :-)