Cats need loving homes urgently

[woodrot]

My shed of cats need loving homes. Winter is coming and Im not sure the brave kittys will survive on cannibalism alone. Woodrot industries are offering cats - all colours and sexes - to loving homes in ED. All I ask is a that you contribute ?5 per week, on a minimum direct debit lease contract of 3 months to Woodrot industries*

*vets bills and sundries are the responsibility of the new owners. Free delivery in the SE22 area. Satisfaction guaranteed or a new cat delivered within 24 hours. T&C apply. No DSS. Your home may at risk if you do not keep up payment on your sickly mog. 20% discount on ginger toms. GCH not tested.Cats may be delivered pregnant and any litters delivered require an additional payment of ?3 pcm per kitten.

[katie1997]

I'll take two thanks.

[Chick]

Truly one stop beyond East Ham.

[Michael Palaeologus]

Are they organic?

[Huguenot]

Pilot's license?

[LondonLogCo]

Can I trial a few, then pick the one that reaches "The Final"

Y'know , X-Factor style

[Salsaboy]

Are they ready to cook?

[Michael Palaeologus]

Can they be put in the Southwark garden waste box if they croak?

[woodrot]

Please be assured that Woodrot industries use only organic cats & any beloved cat friend cadavers can indeed be brown binned for convenience.

[maxxi]

Michael Palaeologus Wrote:

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> Can they be put in the Southwark garden waste box

> if they croak?

If your cat croaks you have the rare manx catfrog (Rana Felix-catesbeiana), like the American bullfrog it lives near bodies of water (swamps, ponds, etc.) but, uniquely, suckles its young.

[TheArtfulDogger]

I live in a 40s house

have you got a black and white tom as they haven't invented colour yet in my world

[woodrot]

All out of ginger toms Im afraid.

Woodrot industries are now offering a "pets-lite" short term tester deal - one week commitment only ?25 - free delivery. A chance to experience the world of cat loving with no strings attached - imagine the joy of having your ashmatic kids infected with toxoplasma, dead birds dumped on your carpet, your furniture scratched to shit, the neighbours gardens being peppered with foul smelling cat eggs, spunking more money on pet food each week than the average inhabitant of Uganda earns in a month and the chance to be able to talk to a dumb selfish animal as if it were human.

Hurry hurry, there are limited supplies of these wretched mogs.

[TheArtfulDogger]

Are they ferret friendly ?

http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?9,966463