Best man speech advice wanted.

[mlteenie]

I am to be best man for the first time at a wedding in NYC this summer.

I have always dreaded this request coming from someone and now it has happened. The 'strippers in Prague' gags, etc. will not go down well with 200 sincere catholic Albanians (my new relatives - I am best man to my half-brother. Don't ask), although short, snappy and humourous is probably fine.

Any suggestions out there?

Thanks.

[Jenni]

Be honest - if their is anything simple and nice you can say then go with that, don't complicate it and every time you write a version read it out loud - keep reading it out loud - preferably to anyone who will listen and you'll be more confident by the time you get round to it, I have never been a best man but i am a writer and convincing words sound best if they're honest, simple and rehearsed. J

[lozzyloz]

Along similar lines to Jenni. Don't write anything down. Structure a short and sweet speech in your head and tell it straight from the heart with a humorous anecdote thrown in for good measure. All the guests will be thanking you, especially if the brides father spoke for far too long.

[Nero]

Keep it short, natural-sounding and devoid of any visual aids or props. I have never been a best man but have been to enough wedding receptions to know that the better ones share the above aspects. Nero

[mockney piers]

First time I did it i made notes sorted an anecdote or two. Bloody terrifying, it went down pretty well but I wasn't convinced it was all that great.

Second time I wrote it all out, which made for a much tighter speech and got a standing ovation.

Third time was an unorthodox event, and there were 4 best men, so I kind of compered and gave a little honest 'I effing love you gumbo' type stuff, but again forewent the script, and again massively terrifying.

My advice is write one before and read it. It may be less natural, but it'll be easier and better that way. And yep, no more that 5 minutes either (my brother as groom went on 45!!! I think I got the ovation for just being short).

[nualacoll]

Hello Mlteenie,

I went to my friend's wedding, I was so pleased for her that she found her wonderful guy and on the day it was all about him so I said to myself I have to balance this out, then I did a Best Woman's speech, last minute, completely from the heart, She, Mary, has a lovely family so it was easy, actually it did not mattered what I said they were just happy that I said something loving. Look after the family, it is an emotional day for them,hopefully a happy day as well.

I'm pleased that I made the speech, it is on a video somewhere, I might see it on their 10th anniversary.

Good luck,

Nuala

[Oglandia]

I presented a 10 minute slideshow with overheads of my brother (the groom) in 70s knitwear, purple cords, dodgy facial hair etc which gained lots of easy laughs and seemed to jolly it along. My tuppence ha'penny is to learn your speech (cue cards work best for me) so you have a foundation to improvise a bit on the day if you want to

[mlteenie]

Thanks for all your suggestions - I have witnessed a very drunk best man being slow-clapped and booed by a rather rock n roll crowd because he was pissed and slow and boring, so I am definitely going to keep it short and snappy!

[andycam]

Start your speech with the word 'Fornication' to grab peoples attention. Like saying quiet please. Naturally everyone will be all ears then. Then say "I'm sorry, a bit nervous.... I actually mean't to say For this occasion.... " Guarateed a laugh.

[Rolo Tomasi]

Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen ? I'd like to start by saying that what a genuine honour it is to be Paul's best man today. I appreciate that I am just one of many equally suitable close friends that he could well have chosen. But I know he looks upon me as the older brother he never had, and I look on him as the younger brother I never wanted.

So here I am stood up here with this great opportunity to reveal to all, Paul?s past misdemeanours. So I could trot out the usual stories; like when he woke up in a football field wearing a red thong and swimming goggles. But instead, I?ve decided to use this time to talk of Paul?s achievements, so you needn?t worry, we?re almost at the end of the speech.

Without doubt his greatest achievement is marrying Linda, who looks absolutely stunning today. You?ve done extremely well Paul, you?ve found someone who?s beautiful, charming, intelligent? and works for the local council and that?s got to have its uses if you know what I mean. And Linda, you?ve found Paul Wilson. Whoever said marriages had to start out balanced!

Paul?s second greatest achievement also happened today, and that was keeping his suit jacket on throughout the ceremony and resisting what must have been an intense desire to turn up in shorts today. But despite the heat and discomfort, it?s been well worth the effort, amongst other things, he?s been boasting all afternoon that he now knows how Chewbacker felt filming those desert scenes.

As it was quite challenging coming up with a third achievement I thought of getting some visual help by asking his father Raymond if he had any cute pictures of Paul when he young. I got a puzzled look and this confused reply; ?Pictures yes, cute no!?

But he did tell me that as a child, Paul is fondly remembered for always asking question after question. And this morning, a little of that child returned to him, as when I passed the bathroom door I overheard him saying, 'Why me, Lord? Why me?'

I also new Paul when he was little and I lost count of the number of times a grown-up remarked, ?He?ll go far, that Paul.? Secretly jealous, I used to laugh to myself that the furthest place Paul would go was to the hairdressers round the corner ? even that proved unlikely for a while. But adolescent rivalry aside, I can see that the adults were right and Paul has indeed done very well for himself. There?s the great career, his success on the sports field, his world-beating collection of porno magazines, and now of course, his perfect wife.

On behalf of the bridesmaids and myself, I would like to thank Linda and Paul for giving us the opportunity to be involved in their unique and special day. I know they have both put a tremendous amount of effort in to the planning of this wedding, and can only hope that, apart from this speech, everything has exceeded their expectations.

Ladies and gentlemen, it now it gives me immense pleasure to invite you all to stand and raise your glasses in a toast to Paul and Linda - Mr and Mrs Wilson. We wish them well for the future and hope they enjoy a long, happy marriage.

[TillieTrotter]

Aah Rolo, that was lovely. Well done.

[Jah Lush]

I was best man to a mate a few years back when he married my sister and was nervous as hell but I kept it short and sweet and as humourous as I could, slagged off the groom with some rather embarrassing true stories from his past, which is the best man's right to do and tried to keep the gags going. Most people are half cut by the time the speeches start and you'll find because of that they are more receptive to a bit of humour.

I added heartfelt praise and thanks where it was due and it went down very well. I was overwhelmed by the compliments I received afterwards but felt relief once it was over. I've since written a couple for friends and if you want me to help you we can arrange a small fee or a huge donation to charity. Only kidding.

Don't worry and you'll sail through it.

[Cassius]

Keep it short and sweet as others have suggested and don't assume that everyone is interested in a long rambling stories of the past. Most people want you to hurry up so they can continue with the partying.

[Brendan]

Yeah the speeches are something that people just really want to ?get through? rather than something they are at all interested in. So keep it short.

[SteveT]

When you have written and polished the short sweet speach read it aloud in to a tape recorder

Then play it back to rid yourself of all the errrs and ummmms.

Do it every night before bedtime for two weeks if necessary, you will feel far more confident if you know your material inside out and that it sounds good to you.

Americans tend to polish their performance for this type of event, so match their professionalism by spending hours at it.

Good luck is all very well but time devoted to your task will serve you better.

[lozzyloz]

Don't mention the war!

[Brendan]

The war?

[lozzyloz]

What war?

[mlteenie]

I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it.

[mlteenie]

To all of you esp. Rolo, thanks for your help. I will probably pilfer some of your lines! SteveT - good point about the yanks being slick. Then again, we can play the Hugh Grant dithering Brit.... possibly.

I am very grateful. The funny thing is he is my half-brother and I don't know him that well, nor have I never met any of the family except his fiancee a couple of times.

I can foresee cold sweats in the middle of the night.....

[Keef]

I've only done this once and was nervous. I just wrote a few bullet points thinking they'd last me a good few minutes, but having spoken for about a minute I looked at my paper only to realise I'd covered everything.

After that though I just relaxed and talked about my friend. I did finish with a joke that I'd heard elsewhere that brought the house down... Tell bride to put her hand on the table, tell groom to put his hand on hers. Tell bride to remember this forever, and that he will always be there for her and that sort of shit. Tell groom to remember this forever as it's the last time he'll ever have the upper hand! >:D<

[Ant]

The best ones I've witnessed have all been short, funny and honest. The worse was when the bloke made a huge effort to try to be memorable, but really I don't think these speeches are meant to be. If you do decide to write the whole thing out, definitely read it out loud lots of times before the day. Not just to help you remember it, but because it'll help you to find any awkward, hard-to-say parts that might need rephrasing a bit until they trip off the tongue.

[Keef]

My best man did a half hour long "game show" doing 3 rounds including a "what happened next", "Photo captions" and "who's line is it anyway" round. He had 4 other good friends as the 2 teams.

He was great, but it was a lot of work, and he couldn't have done it without the others. It has gone down as one of the highlights of the day though, everyone remembers it!

[mockney piers]

Dems' game show was the exception that proves the rule. But it took balls, charisma and a good deal of organisation to pull it off, and I don't think it'd be right for every wedding.

It was blimmin' awesome though!!!

[Keef]

http://photos-d.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v127/169/111/642906952/n642906952_471243_2879.jpg

"balls, charisma" :-S