Advice please: finding a babysitter you trust

[claire101]

I'm after some advice on finding a babysitter you trust if anyone can help. My husband and I don't have any family living nearby and most of our friends have children or half decent social lives. We are happy to pay for a babysitter to sit for our nearly two year old on the occasions we need a sitter (occasional weekend eve, sometimes weekend daytime), but feel uneasy about leaving our son with someone we don't know personally (even if done reference checks, CRB etc).

Which means we're a bit limited to the occasions when family visit. We could really do with someone to help out at times.

Anyone got any advice about how to go about finding a babysitter you trust?

Thanks

Claire

[simonethebeaver]

Have you thought about a babysitting circle with friends? So you sit for each other?

[claire101]

Yes, we do that amongst a group of parents which is great for week nights, not so much for weekends though as naturally enough, the weekend time is a bit more precious! Thanks though - it's a great idea for those who haven't tried it.

[srisky]

Do either of your children go to nursery? If so, maybe one of the nursery staff would be interested in the role. If they don't go to nursery, maybe one of your friends could recommend a childminder or nursery worker they know through their childcare arrangements. I know it's not the same as knowing them personally but may be the next best option.

Good luck, I know it's very difficult to put your trust in someone for something that is so important.

[Pickle]

Do you know anyone with an au pair? They are often keen to earn a bit of extra money, and if you know the people they live with it's a good option. We have been lucky and used a babysitter off the forum for the first time around 5 years ago, and have used her ever since, I trust her completely. Ask around your friends to find out whether they use someone regularly? Personal recommendations from friends are the best way to approach it.

[dulwichgirl2]

Building the trust is the hard bit I know I know...

How old is your son?

Nursery contacts are a good idea...

The only other thing would be to get someone you see as a possible (someone else's nanny for example) and effectively interview her by getting her to look after the ch while you are there doing some work. You could just carefully observe what is going on. Start by going out for dinner round the corner, once the ch are in bed, and work up to other events leaving before bedtime.

I wldnt have an agency or someone from an advert personally, even with the above process.

I know - it is a bit of a gulp factor...

[pebbles]

Do you have a cleaning lady that you and the children like? We've had the same cleaning lady throughout the kids lives so they know her well and so it was very easy that she became our babysitting choice for day and night times.

[mrgardner]

Hi. Im a live in Nanny in West Norwood/Peckham and for the past 3 years I've been recommended lots.

I normally meet for coffee if I don't know the family then babysit from then on. I've been invited 3 years in a row to babysit on a weekend long children's birthday party (camping) about 20 boys!

If you would like PM me. I am available most weekends. Depending on my current families' schedule.

Aaron

[reneet]

I think you just have to take a leap of faith. Its hard leaving your family with some one you do not know, and however much information you gather about them, they are not your friends ot family and you don't really know them. I always ask friends to recommend someone. You can also use neighbours children (old enough ofcourse and if you are just going out for early dinner). My best babysitters are 2 tennage girls, but my daughter is 4 so they have lot of fun together, I leave when her night routine is done, they play with her and put her to bed, they used to wear her out and they had a better time than I did putting her to bed.

[Pugwash]

We also used teenage daughters of friends - their parents knew us well enough to know that we would not abuse their friendship by staying out very late. Always give a lift home to the baby sitter, or walk them home to their front door if within walking distance ( for their own safety and ease of mind for parents) Make sure that the child knows the babysitter i.e meeting several times with the family. I had a friend who used a teenage boy - he was the eldest of a largish family and was brilliant with her little boy. Check out which local colleges are doing child care courses - they may have students who would be willing to earn some extra money.

Finally - long shot - Students undertaking Social Work degrees have to do so many hours of child observation especially of the under 5s. It is very difficult to find placements but if you could combine some 'awake activity' with your child ( you talk about daytime at weekend) and were willing to consider this, I suggest you contact either Goldsmith College or South Bank University Social Work Section.

As a SW student ( many years ago) - I did my child observation study in a Camberwell Day Nursery 3 hours a week for 6 weeks. Also

some teaching degrees - especially nursery/early years and primary years also require their students to do some child observation before starting their course. On the College route - all students of social work and teaching are CRB checked before they can start their studies due to being involved with children and vulnerable adults.

[claire101]

Thanks for all your useful comments and tips. The main piece of advice I'll take away is to follow personal recommendations from other parents you know, if you can't find a babysitter you know personally. As my son is only (nearly) 2, it will probably be a while before we can use younger sitters, but I'm going to ask parent friends and see how we get on with that.

It's also nice to know we're not the only parents in the same position, so thanks for your posts and messages.