What to expect from nursery care for a 2 year old?

[Timster]

Our nearly two year old has been at nursery two days a week for the last 10 months. I have no doubt she is properly cared for and looked after but I am concerned that, as she is developing language and social skills, the nursery continues to treat her like a baby. When I get her home from nursery she plays with her dinner in a way she does not on days when she is not at nursery. I only ever see her at the nursery with apparently younger children who do not engage with her the way I know she can engage with other children.

When I ask the nursery staff what she has done during the day, they look blank and tell me she has run around a lot and not eaten her lunch. And then talk to her in a baby voice. We know they are not keeping any written records of her development.

I want to write to the nursery to express my concerns - but am I being a pushy dad with unrealistic expectations? And what are nurseries expected to provide to under 2's above and beyond changing their nappies and feeding them? I had thought OFSTED required nurseries to help even toddlers learn and develop language and social skills.

Any thoughts welcome.

[Helen GV]

Can't comment on all of your concerns but any early years provision should certainly be observing children and keeping some sort of record. Regarding development, children under three learn primarily through play. So as long as there are a variety of activities covering all of the different areas of the EYFS your daughter should be fine. Also, at two years old, though they will no doubt engage with one another, children generally play alongside each other rather than with each other. I would imagine that as long as they are being spoken to and interacted with by adults their language will come when it's ready, it's just being stored up at the moment, and social skills come too. I think they normally start really playing and interacting, making up games etc, when they are three or four.

I think it's always worth communicating concerns when your child is concerned however so why not ask for an informal chat with her key person, or the nursery manager?

[Timster]

Thanks - her language and social skills are fine and developing well for her age. I have no concerns about her. It is just that the nursery does not seem to engage with her at all at the level of her development and seems to leave her with younger children so she ends up playing by herself. Having seen her with slightly older children I know what she is capable of and nursery seems to be holding her back.

[srisky]

Do they provide a contact book listing what she has eaten, hours slept, main activities of the day? Communicating with parents about their children's day is very important and staring blankly is not helpful! Also, do they have a parents' evening approx 3x per year to discuss development particularly in reference to EYFS? Finally, how do they divide the age groups i.e is your daughter about to move into an older room with staff who are used to children of that age and above and will challenge her development?

Sorry, lots of questions but not much advice!

[Timster]

No, in short. They are obsessed with what she has eaten but that is it. One parent's day in a year and they had no written records at all of her development or observations. Are nurseries obliged to monitor development by reference to EYFS?

[srisky]

Timster Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Thanks - her language and social skills are fine

> and developing well for her age. I have no

> concerns about her. It is just that the nursery

> does not seem to engage with her at all at the

> level of her development and seems to leave her

> with younger children so she ends up playing by

> herself. Having seen her with slightly older

> children I know what she is capable of and nursery

> seems to be holding her back.

Someone I know was in a similar situation -their 2y old had advance language skills but delayed walking and was kept in the baby room for that reason. The mother had to insist she was put with her peer group as their child was finding it difficult to engage with the younger babies. Anecdotally, I think it can make a difference the age group young children are exposed to, as they do learn a lot from each other by copying even if they don't play directly with each other.

[srisky]

Timster Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> No, in short. They are obsessed with what she has

> eaten but that is it. One parent's day in a year

> and they had no written records at all of her

> development or observations. Are nurseries

> obliged to monitor development by reference to

> EYFS?

I'm not sure if they are obliged. Just from personal experience, there appened to be a parents evening shortly after my daughter started nursery and they asked me to tick where I thought she was in terms if her development. They weren't able to comment on all of it as she had just started but they said they'd be making notes on her development to discuss at the next meeting.

It's difficult bringing up concerns with your child's care providers, as you don't want to inadvertently antagonise them. Perhaps suggest a meeting under the guise of discussing your daughter's development and use that as an opportunity to discuss their role?

[katgod]

How are the 'rooms' arranged? The various nurseries my children attended were divided up- non walkers or under 18 month olds in one room then 2-3 year olds then pre schoolers. I would think it unusual to have a really wide age range. Is your child big for her age? Maybe she is in the verge if moving up to the next room? Are you getting nice sticky paintings and other art work? All our nurseries has written observations available on the children. Is there a website or a printed prospectus? Perhaps use that as the basis for a discussion "I see it says x, has my child been able to do that?" most have a room leader who is a bit more versed in dealing with parents, or speak to the manager. Often staff are young and not that confident with parents, whereas the manager should be. It is your money and your child you have every right to ask questions and get answers. Oh and topics- we always had topics, nothing too sophisticated but seasons/animals/vehicles as something to base the play and artwork on.

[espelli]

In short, yes nurseries are obliged to make reference to the EYFS and should keep records of what they have seen of your daughter's development. It doesn't sound like you are being pushy and it might be worth doing what katgod suggests and try talking to the manager. She should be able to answer your concerns.

[minder]

Yes, all early years settings are obliged to keep records under the Early Years Foundation Stage, set by Ofsted for all 0-5 year olds.

This can include a daily diary, photos, artwork, observations, input from parents.

If you've not had any written feedback for 10 months then don't feel you are being a pushy dad at all. Nearly 2 year olds differ so much in their speech and language skills and so what one is doing now might be what another is doing in a few months time, if you see what I mean, but the nursery should be working in conjuction with you so speaking "baby talk" isn't on really and they should be picking up on this as far as your daughter is concerned i.e. A Unique Child.

This is all about to change though and the EYFS, as from this September is changing just a bit. The stuff I've just got from Ofsted (and this has been in the pipeline for a while) is that from this Sept. 12 any child that is aged between 24-36 months has to have a 'progress check' on the three prime areas e.g. PSED, PD and CL(Communication and Language)

"Parents/carers must be supplied with a short written summary of their child's development in the three prime learning and development areas ...."

There were more prime learning and development areas up until this Sept. 12 but they've all been gone down to a few now!

[Beany]

I'm surprised at the level of information (or lack of!!) that you seem to be getting from the nursery, and definitely recommend you ask to speak with the Manager.

The daycare we use is no where near perfect, but they are really committed to engaging with the parents around the child's development - we get a log of eating/ sleeping during the day, parents evening, reports, daily 'diary' for her group which is then copied and placed in her own progress book, along with photos. They also have lists of daily activities, and the intended learning outcomes from these - which can be different for each child. Actually..... sometimes it's a lot to take in!! I know everywhere is different, but hopefully this gives a sense of other things they could be looking at doing. We find it really useful because it means we can reinforce some of what they're doing when we're at home... (except painting - they can keep that one!)

Worth pushing and looking for a positive outcome if shes happy there, and the value of that can't be underestimated... good luck.

[Monkey]

Trust your instinct. Is she happy there? Does she seem to like the staff? Do they love her? Greet her enthusiastically when she gets in? At two, a loving and nurturing environment is what she needs. If you think she is bored, and as she is coming up to two, it could well be that she's "outgrown" her current room and is more than ready to move on to the next age group. A lot of nurseries have one single room for the 0 to 2 and it's one hell of a huge age gap. I would have a chat with the manager if I were you and see if they can speed things up a bit. You could also meet with the staff looking after the 2+ and ask them about their day-to-day activities. And hopefully they won't look at you blankly. Don't worry too much about the notes - mine has tonnes and I feel uncomfortable seeing how she is constantly watched amd assessed from such a young age. Let kids be kids!

[jennyh]

Just to echo the others really and say definitely worth raising it with the manager. I had a couple of concerns about my daughter's nursery once and wasnt looking forward to raising them but they listened and respected my opinion and actually it turned out that I hadn't understood the full story and just talking face to face broke down the communications barrier. I think that good communication is a real skill and it may be that they are following all the guidelines but just don't communicate it with you, it could just be that the parents haven't asked for it or raised a concern so they are carrying on as they are.

My daughter joined nursery when she was 8 months and so very little, by the time she turned 1 she was still being treated like a fragile little baby and I said that I wanted her to be encouraged to feed herself and not have pureed food etc as she was able to do that at home, that I wanted her to go to sleep by herself etc rather than be rocked and cuddled. Its really important to have a good relationship with the people who are looking after your child and there is no reason why it has to be a big deal, just a friendly and honest chat might be enough to settle your concerns.

And to echo the rest, at 18 months old my daughter has a daily report on the activities and focus for the day along with the other stuff on food/napping/nappy changes etc. Whilst there isnt always time to discuss much at the end of the day as there is a lot of activity in the nursery I do make sure I raise something if I think its important - such as my daughter starting to pinch/hit etc, or her newfound desire to shout 'mine' all the time and not share! In addition there are a number of parents meetings where you get shown their folder which has daily observations and goals, lots of artwork, photos etc.

Good luck, it sounds like you have fair comments and concerns and any good childcare provider will respect your thoughts and opinions and more importantly show lots of love and concern for your child.