Hilarious thread on "East Dulwich Borders" Forum

[Dulwich Born And Bred]

Ohh for goodness sake! This thread about is about someone on the West Dulwich Site Mocking us on the East Dulwich Site, So I returned the favour by mocking the West Dulwich lot! Hence being Crass! After all us East Dulwich lot are working class people wandering about with buggies and pretending to be so far up our backsides.

Also you are not reading my post properly as I never said I didn't check their feet! nor did I say EVERY SINGLE kid there has it! I said the AMOUNT of kids in the village with said ailments is shocking! and it is TRUE!

And if THAT makes me a SNOB then I am not going to apologise for that.

Regarding kids and teenagers getting these types of ailments is correct, hence why I stated tongue in cheek that they were too 'posh' to do anything about it! Like making their kids wear protective socks, or ensuring they wash their hands after toilets and before handling food. I have been a nanny in quite a few households in the village, and have nanny friends in the village and it is a battle to instil simple things like hand washing when their parents do not enforce it or do it themselves (well they can't if the kids are looking at us blankly and asking 'why'? when we tell them to wash their hands)

Nor it is good when a nanny is stating that the kids cannot partake in their swimming lessons because of said kid having a verruca and the parents of said kid/kids states whilst waving their hand in the air " Oh it doesnt matter" yes it does! I remember in my school days we could not ENTER the swimming pool if we had any signs of infections on our feet.

Do you live in the Village??

[Dulwich Born And Bred]

For the record I got headlices when I was at school also and we are very clean, ( I am not dumb, I do know nits are not about how clean or dirty you are!) I never had worms but then my mother has always taught me to wash my hands after the going to the ladies, before handling food, to wipe down the toilet flush and so on.

BUT a few of my nanny friends have been popping quite a few worming tablets simply because their charges and their employers are not cleaning the loo seats, washing their hands after the loo, or before touching food and work surfaces so naturally it just keeps doing the rounds all the time.

There is actually a book about the rise and fall of a Yummy Mummy who actually echoes my sentiments about the rich not feeling they have to be terribly clean and living as if they are poor ( wearing ripped grubby clothes etc) but again, we all based things on our experiences, what we are exposed to and what we see.

You and I obviously move in completely different circles despite living in the same area. C'est la vie!

[dulwichmum]

My munchkins are at a private school in Dulwich and since September they have both come home with notes warning of scabies, impetigo, head lice, diarrhoea, mumps, chicken pox, verrucas and worms. I have a good mind to wrap my poppets in cling film and forcing them to wear surgical masks before dropping them off each morning. I would love to disagree with HeidiHi about the rampant prevalence of these infections but I can't.

I blame the au pairs. They are clearly bringing these infestations into the country from lesser developed countries, and should be boiled in oil, scrubbed with nail brushes, and have their luggage set on fire as soon as they touch down in Luton Airport.

[Dulwich Born And Bred]

Excellent!!>:D My munchkins are at a private school in Dulwich

> and since September they have both come home with

> notes warning of scabies, impetigo, head lice,

> diarrhoea, mumps, chicken pox, verrucas and worms.

> I have a good mind to wrap my poppets in cling

> film and forcing them to wear surgical masks

> before dropping them off each morning. I would

> love to disagree with HeidiHi about the rampant

> prevalence of these infections but I can't.

>

> I blame the au pairs. They are clearly bringing

> these infestations into the country from lesser

> developed countries, and should be boiled in oil,

> scrubbed with nail brushes, and have their luggage

> set on fire as soon as they touch down in Luton

> Airport.

[dulwichmum]

Darling HeidiHi,

If you only knew the hardship I endure. Each time I pick up one of these girls at Herne Hill Station (well, they didn't honestly expect me to drive to Luton now did they?), they present me with an obscure home made sausage from their father, a lump of vacuum pack sheeps cheese from their mother and a large acrylic hand knit bed jacket from their grandma (which can look rather Missoni-esque in a certain light). Each time they leave my sobbing children in the gravel drive, the only thing they leave behind in their room over the garage is a miriad of Primark shopping bags and (no doubt) an infestation of thread worms in one of the better schools in SE21. I despair. Since the introduction of the minimum wage - it has become impossible to find good home grown help in this country...

[MadWorld74]

dear oh dear what has happened to this thread??? tanget anyone?

I do feel West Dulwich is boring and posh.....and East Dulwich is a melting pot of all classes. Yes, including middle class...why doesnt one of the EDF log on and post something on their site like they have on ours. Keeps it colourful.

[macroban]

We are already at war with Camberwell. Opening a second front with West Dulwich may not be a good idea.

Hitler found war on two fronts difficult; as did Harold Godwine.

[Dulwich Born And Bred]

Ahh DulwichMum,

Have you considered a good old home grown British Nanny? we can be quite good you know! We don't get homesick, and we can cook good old British grubs and there is no need for broken down English.

Plus the kids don't take the mick out of our accents.

We do require more than ?70 a week sadly! Only because this country is so bloody expensive and we quite like shopping in white stuff and going to EDT for lunch and a glass of wine! The kids rather enjoy it too! The lunch...not the wine (gulp)

[dulwichmum]

I tried stirring it up that but they almost swallowed their teeth. I don't know who posts on that forum, but they all claim to shop in Lidl and adore being shot at in Norwood and mugged in Gipsy Hill. I don't get the impression they are representative of West Dulwich at all...(sigh). We really are extremely posh you know.

[Dulwich Born And Bred]

Ahhh Those West Dulwich Lot are just haters!!;-)

[MadWorld74]

macroban Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> We are already at war with Camberwell. Opening a

> second front with West Dulwich may not be a good

> idea.

>

> Hitler found war on two fronts difficult; as did

> Harold Godwine.

I really must keep in touch,I know its off thread, but why are 'we' at war with Camberwell?

[Dulwich Born And Bred]

I was actually gobsmacked to read some of them shop at ASDA!!! ASDA!!! I mean how cheap are they?

Only Ocado/Waitrose for me and Sainsbury's if I am desperate these days!

As for Camberwell? oh gosh....I avoid that area at all cost....Peckham and Camberwell are the Bronx of South East London.

dulwichmum Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I tried stirring it up that but they almost

> swallowed their teeth. I don't know who posts on

> that forum, but they all claim to shop in Lidl and

> adore being shot at in Norwood and mugged in Gipsy

> Hill. I don't get the impression they are

> representative of West Dulwich at all...(sigh).

> We really are extremely posh you know.

[SeanMacGabhann]

methinks HeidiHi might be starting a competition with you (gorgeous/fragrant/delectable/delet-as-approriate) DulwichMum

I got the playful teasing early on, and I don't think it's a fall back excuse... c;mon Asset, join us.. the water is cheekily warm

[dulwichmum]

Darling HeidiHi,

The WDF are all from Norwood, I know it, suffering from post code shame the lot of them. I would love a British nanny in principle, but in the past (when I had nannies) I have ended up spending more time on the naughty step than the children. Ever since Jo Frost swept into town on her damn broom stick it is all routine, star charts and calm indoor voices. I love to kick up my heels of an evening at a cocktail bar in town, bribing the children with a new play frame or T shirt from the Boden catalogue. I really am quite the party girl you know (...hic).

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Macroban said: "Hitler found war on two fronts difficult"

But it's not snowing - we should be ok.

Am busily knitting warm, khaki socks just in case and making parcels of tobacco, rum and cod liver oil as we speak (post).

[macroban]

> But it's not snowing - we should be ok.

It wasn't snowing in October 1066.

[dulwichmum]

OHMYGOD! How romantic. I see myself behind enemy lines, wearing a Burberry trench coat, red lipstick, a beret and cycling a double decker bicycle (covered in baby carrying appliances). I will say this only once...

[Dulwich Born And Bred]

Ah Seany Seany Sean!!

I would never go into competition with Dulwichmum, there is no contest, She is DULWICHMUM and I am a mere Mary Poppins.

Oh that naughty step, well, sometimes the parents are in need of a firm hand more so than the kids, and the naughty step does need to be enforced. Especially when parents do not practise what they preach ( i.e 'please do not give Alexander any chocolate or his dummy' and you catch said parent bribing their kids with chocolates and their dummy after spending all day dealing with their tantrums whilst weaning them off chocolates/dummy)

As for Jo Brand, she is most delightful! She was awfully good on Junior Jackanory! Now come on, an au pair doesn't compare and I bet the au pair kept the TV on and let the kids watch 'in the night garden' and other mind numbing programmes on cbeebies whilst she phones Poland and weeps down the phone about how she has to iron her bosses underpants which is not what she is paid for!

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

But who could resist the alluring French (ooh aah Cantona)? I feel confident we can rebuff the westdulwichian charm.

[macroban]

> westdulwichian charm.

They have witchcraft too?

[MadWorld74]

I am repairing to the lounge to watch the Antiques Roadshow, with a glass of red. Maybe the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies, will appear amongst the shows many finds?......

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Absolutely Macroban. Did you not hear that the gude folk of E.Dulwich re. the roundabout at end of L.Lane, voted to reinstall a stake?

[Keef]

Hey hey, the lass is more than entitled to her opinion, and if she thinks ED is full of tossers, then good for her. Clapham gets slated on here, and there are probably loads of lovely people in Clapham who would see this forum and rip it to shreds too.

I feel a bit as if this thread and lots of the responses is/are almost proving her points!

And another thing, she is not the first person who misunderstood DM's blog. The first time I saw it, I was having discussions with Mockney Piers and Fear n' boozin as to whether it was for real, and I even commented on it saying that it was either very well observed satire, or she was a sick moron (or words to that effect, it was, looking back, a particularly good one about sealing a deal on a house on Court Lane).

I may well be one of he people she finds distasteful, but if she was made to feel unwelcome on this forum (and she wouldn't be the first) then she has a right to xpress that.

[mamafeelgood]

nnnooooooooooooooooooo the 3 wheeler attacked again. do i need to repeat they sell because they are a dream on your back and your bank balance (osteopaths bills saved etc...) and they are not as expensive as many 4 wheelers out there. i love maclarens, indeed started with one but you try pushing 2 x 15 kilos up horniman gardens...blah blah blah zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

i'm loving the attack, bring it on. i grew up in an area which like dulwich had an east/north name share and this fighting never happened, how exciting. should we deploy the scarey kids by the train station/estate as the infantry? i'm with dulwich mum (and kate adie) here: lipstick on the frontline. oh, but i don't wear lipstick...so red 3 wheeler on the frontline.

[macroban]

Beware!

West Dulwich has 007 buggy versions.