Utterly inane news thread

[Otta]

That sucks Moos. Happy birthday anyway!

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

I've just bought five packs of Rizzla from the indoor market.

Commiserations and felicitations Moos.

[Brendan]

Hope you've got lots of biscuits in.

[Annette Curtain]

I'm not keen on Vegemite

But I like a read of The National Enquirer

Specially when it "blows the lid" of something

Tomorrow is the Olympics

[Salsaboy]

It's raining. Again.

[jumpinjackflash]

Last night I succesfully tinted my own eyelashes thus saving me around ?170 per year

[Otta]

We seem to have run out of marmite, so the kids will have honey on their toast.

[RosieH]

Marks and Spencer will not compensate me for yoghurt on my top.

I will be taking this higher.

[Brendan]

You going to spill it on your scarf?

[Fabricio the Guido]

Two kids on bikes wearing hoodies LOOKED at me as I walked along the road. I found this very suspicious.

[KidKruger]

The letter box clattered, but upon checking it was merely a leaflet.

[El Pibe]

There is no milk in the 4th floor east kitchen.

I am having to drink builders' tea black. Bleagh!

I am too lazy to go to the 4th floor west kitchen.

[jumpinjackflash]

Pret a Manger have removed the anchovies from their Caesar salad and I am fuming. On my way now to get a second lunch as it didn't even touch the sides.

[Otta]

Just discovered a little West Indian food van near my office. This makes me happy.

[RosieH]

That sounds delicious. I'm dukanning before my holiday and scrambled egg with smoked ham is considerably less good than anticipated.

Dukan saps the lifeblood from you.

Then M&S covers you in low fat yoghurt.

[maxxi]

The rain today was smaller, drop-for-drop, than it was last week. This is okay as it means I get more in the water butt.

[Frankito]

I think I am the first pregnant man - test results due tomorrow to A- confirm I am indeed a man and B- to confirm the sex of the new bubba.

Check me out..!

[Annette Curtain]

I'm in room 19 at The George Hotel

In Dorchester-on-Thames

Check me out if you're in the area

The Fish & Chips were great !

[Huguenot]

Got a really annoying bit of sticky out fingernail on my thumb. It'll be an hour or so before I can get some clippers.

[Help-Ma-Boab]

Momentarily forgot the word for toes. Settled for foot-fingers till it came back to me.

[RosieH]

Marks and Spencer seem to have discontinued my favourite salad.

First yoghurt, now this.

[Michael Palaeologus]

There is only one train an hour from Braintree to London Liverpool Street. It goes on the hour, every hour.

[Atticus]

Saw someone who (I think) is a regular poster on the EDF this am.

[Guest]

Tried to superglue bike bell back onto bike after the mounting broke.

Three fingers temporarily stuck together and nail varnish ruined.

Bike and bell still separate.

[LondonLogCo]

I saw three young men wearing checked shirts, khaki chinos and white pumps

They all had blonde hair