Annette Curtain Posted July 28, 2012 Share Posted July 28, 2012 I cut the tip of my right index finger today, whilst trimming some Bamboo.Nette(more news to follow) Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/24761-utterly-inane-news-thread/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan Medic Posted July 28, 2012 Share Posted July 28, 2012 Left hand or right hand? Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/24761-utterly-inane-news-thread/#findComment-563932 Share on other sites More sharing options...
womanofdulwich Posted July 28, 2012 Share Posted July 28, 2012 oh dear- did you have to :a) go to hospital;b) go straight to your highly equiped first aid kit;c) search the house for a packet of plasters while swearing profusely; Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/24761-utterly-inane-news-thread/#findComment-563952 Share on other sites More sharing options...
giggirl Posted July 28, 2012 Share Posted July 28, 2012 I fell off a slide and hurt my arse. It's touch and go whether my dignity will survive CPR. Tragic. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/24761-utterly-inane-news-thread/#findComment-563954 Share on other sites More sharing options...
DulwichFox Posted July 28, 2012 Share Posted July 28, 2012 I can Never open a Plaster when I need one. They are Sealed and just impossible to open. Especially when you are dripping blood over your new Axeminster... Fox. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/24761-utterly-inane-news-thread/#findComment-563956 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annette Curtain Posted July 28, 2012 Author Share Posted July 28, 2012 womanofdulwich Wrote:-------------------------------------------------------> oh dear- did you have to :> a) go to hospital;> b) go straight to your highly equiped first aid> kit;> c) search the house for a packet of plasters while> swearing profusely;No, none of the aboveI was in Sydenham Woods at the time of the incidentSo I adopted the "in the field" technique of first aid. Mainly, I swore a bit and squeezed it, then I sucked it until the blood stopped & I got boredIt's changed my typing style (ha-style)I'm now drinking coffeeNette Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/24761-utterly-inane-news-thread/#findComment-563957 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan Medic Posted July 28, 2012 Share Posted July 28, 2012 East Dulwich resident complains about children making noise. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/24761-utterly-inane-news-thread/#findComment-563959 Share on other sites More sharing options...
ianr Posted July 28, 2012 Share Posted July 28, 2012 It may leave a disfiguring scar. Consider amputation. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/24761-utterly-inane-news-thread/#findComment-563960 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 28, 2012 Share Posted July 28, 2012 Today I have entered week 4 of the summer cold. Took about four hours to progress from bed to sofa to shower to clothes today. About to go out and look for cough mixture. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/24761-utterly-inane-news-thread/#findComment-563992 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annette Curtain Posted July 28, 2012 Author Share Posted July 28, 2012 Cold Ms B ?Sounds like heavy hay fever Anyway, i've just eaten some English Lambs liverNette Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/24761-utterly-inane-news-thread/#findComment-564000 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loz Posted July 28, 2012 Share Posted July 28, 2012 giggirl Wrote:-------------------------------------------------------> I fell off a slide and hurt my arse. It's touch> and go whether my dignity will survive CPR. > Tragic.I have this weird mental picture of someone performing CPR on your arse. I have to say, it's quite rude... Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/24761-utterly-inane-news-thread/#findComment-564001 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan Medic Posted July 28, 2012 Share Posted July 28, 2012 Ms B Wrote:-------------------------------------------------------> Today I have entered week 4 of the summer cold.> Took about four hours to progress from bed to sofa> to shower to clothes today. About to go out and> look for cough mixture.I blame the underwear Ms.B. It's the underwear. Proper underwear would have protected you from this type of thing I'm sure. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/24761-utterly-inane-news-thread/#findComment-564025 Share on other sites More sharing options...
reetpetite Posted July 28, 2012 Share Posted July 28, 2012 Those thongs can be leathal ! Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/24761-utterly-inane-news-thread/#findComment-564036 Share on other sites More sharing options...
reetpetite Posted July 28, 2012 Share Posted July 28, 2012 . Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/24761-utterly-inane-news-thread/#findComment-564045 Share on other sites More sharing options...
reetpetite Posted July 28, 2012 Share Posted July 28, 2012 . Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/24761-utterly-inane-news-thread/#findComment-564046 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annette Curtain Posted July 30, 2012 Author Share Posted July 30, 2012 Today is MondaySome idiot rode a scooter up & down my street a number of times in the early hours. Thankfully they fell off at the top of the street in the endScreaming never sounded so good, I hope they're suitable chastisedNette Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/24761-utterly-inane-news-thread/#findComment-564335 Share on other sites More sharing options...
RosieH Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 I've got yoghurt on my top. I have complained to M&S. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/24761-utterly-inane-news-thread/#findComment-564372 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Otta Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 I've got KFC gravy on my top, but I'm facing up to the responsibility myself. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/24761-utterly-inane-news-thread/#findComment-564378 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brendan Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 It was twelve thirty-sixish pm on Sunday. I was returning home after an unexceptional visit to Halfords. I parked the car on the paved-over font garden that we in the suburbs refer to as ?the drive? and made my way to the front door. Midway through the second step of the three it takes to do this my nostrils were assaulted by that instantly recognisable smell best described as, ?drains?. Further investigation, which involved the shifting of a manhole cover and the ejaculating of a few swear words, revealed a particularly unpleasant subterranean problem in the sewer. ?I?ll call the plumber about it tomorrow.? Said my wife, and long-suffering protagonist in my Saga Conditio Humana. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/24761-utterly-inane-news-thread/#findComment-564379 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 I'm pretty sure it's not as I don't go purple in the face coughing when I have hayfever, and anyway no normal pollen could make it through the torrents of snot. Plus several people I know had something similar that lasted a month or so. Only another few days to go then.Alan Medic, I've been coughing so hard I suspect it's only the sensible underwear preventing a prolapse and total incontinence.Annette Curtain Wrote:-------------------------------------------------------> Cold Ms B ?> > Sounds like heavy hay fever > > Anyway, i've just eaten some English Lambs liver> > > Nette Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/24761-utterly-inane-news-thread/#findComment-564383 Share on other sites More sharing options...
maxxi Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 The Gourmet Burger Co. had their delivery at 2.30am this morning. Wonder if this is an Olympic knock-on or just sheer idiocy? Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/24761-utterly-inane-news-thread/#findComment-564395 Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Pibe Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 I found a new grey hair today. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/24761-utterly-inane-news-thread/#findComment-564401 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brendan Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 That's why I wax. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/24761-utterly-inane-news-thread/#findComment-564402 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moos Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 I am sick in bed. Not best birthday ever. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/24761-utterly-inane-news-thread/#findComment-564439 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brendan Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 Next door are going on holiday. I don?t have to feed the cat this time. The cat is dead. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/24761-utterly-inane-news-thread/#findComment-564440 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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