Why are teen pregnancies so high?

[gerry]

I wonder if the system encourages/discourages teen pregnancies.....does anyone have first hand experience of what they went through as a pregnant teen? I am a counsellor, NOT DOING RESEARCH, just need a different perspective in my work with parents. Thank you.

[KalamityKel]

There are many different factors to consider with teenagers...

Firstly dealing with sex -

peer pressure (everyone thinks everyone else is having sex even when they're no, and so think they should be).

Parents, if you're too strict with teens then the first thing do is rebel the whole "I ban/forbid you from seeing that person" never works. Parents who don't set a particularly good example (those having many relationships in a short period of time) give off the impression it is perfectly acceptable to go the whole hog when you're not really into a "serious" relationship. I should probably stress that I'm not meaning ALL parents just those that often fall into the the teenage child pregnancy thing.

Boys Don't think it's their responsibilty to carry condoms as it's not the "in thing" even tho it actually makes them look "bigger" to carry the things around. Similarly girls feel the same way. Also, embarrassment and lack of easy access to condoms causes an issue. How many teens feel confident going to the docs or family planning clinic? This all requires planning ahead. I doubt many teens plan when they are actually going together to have sex.

Secondly dealing with the pregnancy itself - Often teens are too scared to approach their parents about it. Whether it's for fear of the reaction from their parents, a feeling they've let everyone down or that theyre too embarrassed. Some teenagers also, sadly, get pregnant deliberately either to spite their parents or to nab the guy. Then there's the decision of what to do wiv the pregnancy... keep it or abort? <-- there's much debate on that topic. Many avoid the options available by ignoring the "problem" and by the time theyve plucked up the courage to talk to anyone about it it's too late.

I don't think it's lack of education as children are taught from an early age these days, whether at school or by television wot sex is. I think, as mentioned before it's embarrassment creates the problem.

My comments are based on experiences with many friends, whilst growing up, who have landed in this situation and of course I'm not applying my views as the general rule or stereotype. Just thought it may help in understanding wot goes thru a teens mind :)

[gerry]

Thanks Kel. I think you are very accurate in your opinion. But what actualy makes a teen go ahead with the pregnancy rather than give the baby up for adoption or have an abortion?

[mightyroar]

I agree with Kel, especially

"Many avoid the options available by ignoring the "problem" and by the time theyve plucked up the courage to talk to anyone about it it's too late."

1n 1 case i know very well she did the test, told friends, sisters, but not parents.

Basically by the time she was talking to her parents she had already discussed it at length with friends and decided to keep it. so really whatever the parents said she just wasnt taking it in.

friends and sisters of same age really dont have any idea that 'having a baby' means 'having a child and spending the next 20 years putting their needs first'

as a teenager it's very difficult to visualise the future. teenagers live in the moment,

and whatever you teach them about sex, which I don't think we do adequately, they also have to try and understand responsibility, and action= consequence.

some people never understand that properly though!

[KalamityKel]

Abortion is always a difficult subject and one can never really know what they'd do until put in that situation even if they are strongly for or against it. I can only assume that maybe it is fear of the unknown and the thought of "is it really the right thing to do?" and having to live with that for the rest of they're lives. At such a young age when there is so much yet to experience I guess it's the level of maturity.

Where adoption is concerned, surely for any woman regardless of age, it is against natural instincts to give up your child. For a teenager I can imagine having a baby being something they can actually say is THEIRs and no one elses and so are protective of their babies and wouldn't dream of giving it up even if they are the kind do pass the baby on to friends and family so they can go out every other night.

I could be wrong but who knows.

[RosieH]

I think ignoring the problem til it's too late is spot on - sounds facile but I found myself empathising with Hollyoaks recently when one of the teenage characters just kept putting off finding out whether she was pregnant until it was too late.

I became pregnant when I was 16 and thought I had loads of time to sort it out - but to be honest I never really wanted to know. Of course I knew about contraception: I was well-educated, I was on the pill, but I'd probably missed taking a few and didn't give it much thought (assuming of course that it would never happen to me). But it did, and with putting things off for so long, when I did go and see the doctor I was nearly 12 weeks and he told me it was too late for an abortion - waiting lists being as they are on the NHS. Still no idea if this was true, or if he was, in his way, trying to make me keep the baby. But I went privately and had a termination - was expensive for a 16 year old (didn't tell my parents at the time, came clean to my mum a couple of years ago) - but they treated me with huge kindness and I was fine. Learned a lesson the hard way.

[gerry]

Rose

I really appreciate your honesty, it must have been very difficult for you to come to that decision. Were you afraid of telling your parents? What did you think would be their response? Other girls in your situation may have handled it differently and considered the pregnancy something to be proud of. That is the dilemma for girls and parents. How should the parents deal with the situation? If the pregnancy goes ahead, will the teen be given a flat? Is there any age limit whereby they have to stay at home if under a certain age?

[KalamityKel]

I do remember a very close friend of mine was kicked out of home at the age of 15. She came to stay with us. When she was 16 she went to the council to see if she could get a flat or even put on the house list and was literally told she wouldn't stand a chance unless she was pregnant. She thought that was a bit odd and confronted the woman who told her this and pointed out that her attitdude was very irresponsible but she didn't seem to care.

[gerry]

HI Kal

Is that the normal course of action? If a teen is pregnant, she gets a council flat? What if she is only 16?

[KalamityKel]

It's not an automatic thing but it certainly places you higher up on the waiting list... apparently.

[gerry]

Do you think that's an incentive for teens to get pregnant? As a parent, do you have any rights up to a certain age? Sorry, I was not aware that teens were given council housing.....below a certain age...does anyone what that age is?

[KalamityKel]

Well if you can legally leave home at 16...

[char1ie]

Society has a duty of care towards the vulnerable and it places women with young children at the top of the list of the needy. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Charlie

[KalamityKel]

Good thing too when you think where women in desperate need may end up...

[RosieH]

To be honest, my decision wasn't difficult in the least. I feel like I ought to feel bad about saying that, but I've never had a moment's doubt or regret. There have been a few tears and a little sadness in the years since, but the decision was utterly straightforward.

At the time I thought my parents would throw me out. My dad had on a number of occasions intimated that should my sister or I ever find ourselves in that situation, that would be our fate. In hindsight, I don't know that would have been the case, but I did feel I couldn't tell them.

Also, and I'm not particularly proud of this, but for me there would have a huge stigma attached to having a child so young, no pride whatsoever. I wasn't that type of girl: I was clever and had a bright future and university to look forward to - a child was beyond anything I could countenance. Hope that doesn't sound too hard.

[gerry]

Rose, that doesn't sound hard...it sounds like a sensible decision for you given your age and circumstances. The stigma is no longer there in our society, which is why girls and their parents have such a tough decision to make. I agree, you did the right thing for you.

Charlie, I also agree with you that vulnerable moms and children deserve our help, but are there some also using the system? Can you honestly say that everyone in this situation is vulnerable and needy? Some may be encouraged by their parents to get pregnant so that they can leave home. Is that too much of a shock to consider? Is the system, well meaning as it is, actually meeting the needs of the children or simply the young mums?

[char1ie]

> Charlie, I also agree with you that vulnerable

> moms and children deserve our help, but are there

> some also using the system?

I don't really believe that any sane individual would think "I want a free house" and go out to find unprotected sex to get it. But it may be a contributing factor.

If there are a few people using the system, so what? It's better that they are housed and safe rather than out on the streets.

From what I have seen it is very very difficult for single mothers with young children to work full time or to be in full time education. Later in life when kids are in school life gets easier.

Charlie

[barrymarshall]

The using/abusing the system argument doesn't wash - if it were the case the teenage girls were using the welfare state to get a house, we would naturally expect countries with more generous welfare systems than ours - eg, Germany, the Netherlands, Sweden, Switzerland, etc. - to have higher instances of teenage pregnancy. Alas the reverse is true. It's down to education and social circumstances, not about climbing the welfare ladder.

In fact, if you look at societies with a less of a welfare state system than in Western Europe, you see the incidents of teen pregnancy get higher and higher. The US has a far higher rate than Britain, for example.

[ChavWivaLawDegree]

Why the f*&k should a teen who is pregnant feel that she should have to give it up for adoption or have a termination?

Pregnant women get no more priority for council places than non-pregnant women and when you are counting the number of people in your family babies under 1 are counted as 0, while babies from 1-5 are a half a person so it does not mean you are more likely to get a place if you are pregnant, and you have to wait a long time and have many kids before they consider you overcrowded, especially as you now have to include your sitting room as a bedroom before they concede you need more space.

My daugher was with her now husband from the age of 15. She had no interest in school and bunked off for most of year 11. Her and her partner tried for a baby (against my wishes) for a year before she managed to get pregnant aged 18 and married a few months later. She has loads of family support from her brother, sisters and me, despite the fact that I have had 4 kids and am champing at the bit myself and she has turned out to be a brilliant mum. The baby is just over a year old and she has just finished evening classes in bookkeeping and accounts and has decided to swap places with her husband. She is now working full-time while he does the stay at home stuff. She is as stubborn as me, and when the totally natural urge to settle down and become a mum hit her in her teens, she had no interest in anything else. Now she has done that, she is interested in doing other stuff.

My daughter was a teen mum but what is wrong with that?

[KalamityKel]

I think the term "teen mum" is really applying to younger than 18 here.

[ChavWivaLawDegree]

she was trying to be a mum at 17 and eveb 19 is still a teen, so I would like a breakdown of ages in any statistics about teen pregnancies.

[Maximay]

Sorry, I have to disagree with you, I worked for Southwark housing for 6 years, and teenagers who were pregnant definitely did go to the top of the housing list, which is why there is the current trend for teenage girls to get pregnant just in order to get a flat/home of their own, their positions moved up even higher if they managed to get their parents to give them a letter saying they were kicking them out onto the streets, although they did have to spend a period of time in a hostel, how is a few months in a hostel with a council flat at the end of it going to deter the more unresponsible of the teens? I am not for one moment suggesting your daughter did this in order to gain a home.

[Brendan]

There are 2 reasons. The first (whether this is a problem or just a phenomenon depends on your outlook on life) lies with society?s values. In our current value system the wants of the individual are increasingly valued as more important than the individual?s responsibilities towards those around them. So therefore the physiological urge to reproduce is seen as a right of the mother rather than a responsibility upon both parents for the welfare of the child.

You have to remember that this only applies to modern western culture and specifically to the social conditions in the UK at the moment. There are many places in the world where it is perfectly normal to be pregnant at 15 and always has been or where traditionally there are different care structures within families.

The second is that women of all ages who are unhappy can sometimes feel that having a baby will somehow change their situation. This is a bloody stupid reason for having a child but then all of us had some bloody stupid ideas about life when we were teenagers. It?s what being a teenager is all about.

[ChavWivaLawDegree]

My daughter wanted to leave home at 16 because I'd kicked her older brother out when he decided to challange my authority and he had a hostel place. He got a flat about 10 weeks later because he was 17 when he moved out and therefore classed as vulnerable but had to wait until he was 18 he was allowed a tenancy of his own flat. My daughter was in a hostel from the age of 16 until she was 18 but got her flat before she got pregnant and friends of hers who already had a baby ended up having to rent privately, so being pregnant or having a baby doesn't make as much difference as you have stated but age does.

If the council had not had it's hands tied by central government re: building or purchasing new council stock and then being statutorily obliged to house the vulnerable, no one would have to jump through these hoops to get what is a fundamental human right, somewhere to call home.

[david_carnell]

I don't think there is anything with teenage pregnancy/motherhood per se but it is routinely used as a measure of a civilised society. CWALD, your daughter is clearly a mature person in a stable relationship who made the choice to have a child at a young age and is now raising that child in a loving environment with full support from her family whilst studying hard and furthering her career. Excellent - you should be proud.

However, this is a long way from the experiences of many. Teenage pregnancies more often occur in lower socio-economic groups. They are often from broken families and not in stable relationships with the child's father. Lack of academic qualifications can lead to aggravated social problems in the future.. Relying on the welfare state to raise a child is neither easy nor sensible. I cannot conceive anyone arguing that having children should be encouraged if you have no financial means of raising that child. Teen pregnancy should not be condemned but neither should it be encouraged by a society that wishes to alleviate social ills. Whilst over a million children still live in poverty the prospects for new-borns raised on sink estates by inexperienced mothers lacking family support networks and the academic ability to raise themselves out of poverty, the situation is bleak.