Before I panic and go find a job...

[sarahew]

Are there any working mums in East Dulwich (and nearby) who work from home since having children and wish they still had the company of work colleagues?

I have a 4m baby and a 2.5yr old, and I'm beginning to feel that when I start work again I would prefer not to spend so many hours on my own. I love my work, but can feel quite isolated at home. I'm even contemplating looking for a job in town again, just for the company and support of other professional working women (and men!).

It's quite hard going from being at home with small children, to being at home working alone - I gain in lots of ways that I don't really want to give up, such as flexible hours around the children, no commute and always being here in emergencies etc, but I miss the stimulating chat and other people to bounce ideas off. I also miss learning from how other people do things - I'd love to know how other mums run their businesses for example.

Is it just me? Does anyone else feel like that? I'm wondering if it might be possible to get a little network together. I've also thought of local desk share, or something, with other freelancers / self-employed mums (and dads).

Anyway, it might just be me!

[jennyh]

Hey

It's not just you. I was made redundant after my return to work and set about going freelance and working from home but it has been the most miserable experience and I am now desperately trying to find some other options. I feel so isolated at home, I feel like I am going out of my mind sometimes as I just sit starting at the microwave. I am totally uninspired and as a result my work is suffering and my confidence.

A few of my friends are self-employed and they have taken a shared studio space in the arches on Bellenden Road. A space came up that I looked at but I think it hit home that even if I moved there I would still need work colleagues, I need other people to bounce ideas off and share with. Plus the studio was quite depressing and I think I would have found it more uncomfortable than my home.

It never occured to me before that I would dislike self-employment so much, I never considered myself a real team player or loved my job or my office but when you don't have it and you are at home with a baby and then doing the cleaning and spending 24/7 there ist becomes something of a prison!

I am now looking for work and not sure what my next step is but I am slightly terrified about it! If you would like to meet up to talk about it ever then let me know!

[Norfolkvillas]

I'm not in the same situation as I have a murderous commute to my office 4 days a week (but I do really enjoy it once I'm there) but isn't there some kind of workspace somewhere near Clapham / Wandsworth which is specifically for freelance mums and dads who are trying to achieve a work-life balance but don't want to isolate themselves at home. And they have an on-site creche or something?

Oh, here we are, I've found it - http://www.third-door.com/index.html Putney, so not quite as close as I had thought, but perhaps could be worth considering....

[Monkey]

Be careful - very few companies are flexible. By flexible, I mean letting you leave at 5.00pm to be on time for nursery for example. My company lets me do that but only because I offered to come in at 7.30am which means leaving the house at 6.30am. If you are happy with the money you are making freelancing, I would consider the options people mentioned above .

Of course if I was working from home, I might tell you to go and get a job in town!

[EDmummy]

I think you'd be surprised about the amount of flexibility but of course it depends on the sector and your salary expectations. I work in the IT sector but for a charity. Salary is a bit below market but I work 24 hrs in three days in the office and 6hours at home between school run one day a week. I've been working part time for 10 years now so have great time management. It takes a lot of planning and I've worked my schedule into implementation etc. There are a hell of of a lot part time, high level professionals in the charity sector and as we are all committed to the cause, flexibility alongside achieving goals is actually well respected.

[usel1999]

Wandsworth which is specifically for freelance mums and dads who are trying to achieve a work-life balance but don't want to isolate themselves at home.

http://www.interbankforex.info/kv.gif

[Jessie]

Hi Sarah

I went freelance in April and have found it a bit of a mixed experience. At first it was brilliant, but then I experienced a definite feeling of loneliness and isolation. I do go into an office two days a week, so that is abated somewhat, but there's still that feeling of not being in a team which I miss. But! The dust is settling now and I'm getting much more used to it, and appreciate the other side of freelancing (this week starting work at 7 so getting a head start on the bonkers world of publishing). My job though - publicist - is very people-orientated so I guess that helps with the feelings of isolation etc. I'd say don't panic yet, give yourself some time to adjust. There's no perfect scenario and being around at home more when you have kids is such a massive bonus. Hope that helps.

Jess

[lucyA1308]

i used to work from home, and loved it. I wouldn't worry about the state of the house, I would just get straight down to work, without any of the distractions of an office. Since having children though, it feels like a wonderful thing to get out of the house on my own, talk to other people, read a book on the tube etc. I think if I was at home, I would be much more conscious of how the house looked, and the need to do housework now than I was before.

I still do run a business though, and I have to do that once the kids are asleep, that is tough. I think any mum who can work from home must have more calm and peaceful children than I do!

[Coach Beth]

I've been self-employed for 7 years and could never again work for an organisation. I am also an extrovert and very sociable and yes, the only downside for me has been that I really do enjoy the team experience. I think that when you are self-employed you have to make more effort to create opportunities to get out and socialise whereas at work you have a ready made social experience. What I do is:

- schedule in daytime lunch/coffee sessions with other people who are also self-employed/free in the daytime. I now know alot of people who are self-employed and we all welcome the chance to socialise with each other.

- go out for coffee with mums who are free just after the school drop off. I have two mum friends who work from home on particular days and I try to make sure every week I go for a coffee with one of them just after drop off.

- do some regular volunteering at my son's school for an hour or two a week (when I have time that is) plus I'm involved in my local Quaker meeting and am part of a couple of committee's.

- when I need to do admin or writing work, I take my laptop and work in a local cafe. It is nice to be out of the house and I tend to often get more done away from distractions.

[Smiler]

Isn't there a thread somewhere else on the forum with people who work from home?

I work in a big team and after a bad week reckon colleagues are over-rated!

[minder]

Netmums and Mumsnet often have threads about this.

I didn't miss the workplace at all when I had my children and would have loved to be able to work at home. Unfortunately, this wasn't an option for me or my work and I chose to give up my job when my eldest (now 19) was a baby.

There's so many choices now so if you do feel isolated, then maybe just pop to Sainsburys or wherever to break up your day!

[Mathilda]

I've been a freelancer since Feb and although it did take some adjustment, I enjoy it. It can be dull sitting at home sometimes but for me the positives (flexibility, no commute, not having to deal with difficult colleagues/office politics) outweigh any negatives. Although I am not in the house all the time as have meetings and site visits and sometimes work in larger companies' offices for a day or two.

There are lots of local networking groups around here - Portfolio Parents (Forest Hill), Mums in Business (ED) and Ladies Who Latte (Dulwich Village) are the ones I know about, though haven't tried them all yet. Also I'm getting back into attending training/networking events for my industry, which can be easy not to bother with as a freelancer but does make me feel more connected.

So I think, don't apply for a job just yet, give it some time.

[mima08]

Hiya,

I have recently started working for myself and so far am enjoying the experience of doing things my way - including being in my pj's if I want to. However, I do have days where I miss the company of others, like someone said: being able to bounce ideas of someone, etc. I have been to the Portfolio Parent's group in Forest Hill a few times: it is a lovely group and they are trying to figure out the way to go (at the moment they hold lunches with kids at the Forester Pub in Forest Hill, every Wed from 11.00-13.00). Mums in Business is also great - really inspiring ladies there.

I have also gone to some "Jellys" (organised co-working events) by an organisation called KindredHQ (http://www.kindredhq.com/) - this is an organisation especially set up to support freelancers (parents or not) and they are great - check them out!

PM me if you ever fancy meeting up for a coffee, we could always create our own version of a Jelly :)

mx

[sarahew]

Thank you everyone who has taken the time to reply to my post. I've loved hearing how it is for you all. I can see that there are a few common feelings, and generally it seems the at home benefits beat the office working, at least for this group.

I think I agree, and know that I am afforded quite a few luxuries working from home. I should say that I have my own small business, so I also have the worry of trying to find work again after being out of it, and losing pretty much all of my clients.

Really interested to hear about the groups that are already set up for working parents / freelancers. I think I'll definitely try one or two. And thanks to the three mums who have invited me out for coffee, either here or on private message. That would be lovely. Maybe we should all meet??

I have to break now (dinner has arrived), but will keep checking in on this thread. Thanks again everyone. I'm not sure I've really nailed the best way forward yet, but hopefully I'll get to meet some of you as I work it out...

[mima08]

Hello all

I just spoke to the lovely Lily from cafe Viva and she is quite happy to provide space and free wifi for a little freelancer group on a semi regular basis (on the understanding that the odd tea/coffee or other food & beverages will be purchased). Cafe Viva is on Bellenden Road, near Ryelane. It is a really cute little place, not too big and I find the mornings after 8.30 are quite enough to get some work done but lively enough to provide a bit of stimulation.

Would people be interested in setting up a regular co-working event (jelly style http://www.uk-jelly.org.uk/what-is-jelly/)?

Added bonus: there is chreche at the Adult learning centre across from cafe viva, where you can leave LO for an hour of play while you get some work done....

Let me know your thoughts

Mx

[Mathilda]

Hi Mima - this is a great idea, would love to join in depending on what day you organise, I work Mon/Tues/Thurs.

[mima08]

Hiya, checking with a few others, I am thinking Tues mornings? Say 9 to 11 (of course people can stay as long /short as they like). I'll be at cafe viva next Tues, let's see how it goes!

mx

[sarahew]

Hi mima. It does sound like a good idea. Thanks for suggesting it. I'm not back at work until September, but I'll definitely be keen to see how it goes, and maybe I can join in come the time. Perhaps leave another post when you've all tried it out??

[Mathilda]

Tues mornings works for me, its in the diary for next week!

[bee74]

Hi

I work from home as well but sadly can't be in my pjs as I see clients.

I find it quite isolating, but also extremely convenient. Except that if the kids are in the other room crying or playing it can be very distracting!

How about meeting up?!

Bee

[RachelM]

Hi everyone,

I organise the Portfolio Parents group in Forest Hill and you are all very welcome to come along and meet other mums in a similar situation (we are still looking for our first dad!) We meet from 11am every Wednesday at the Foresters Bar, it's very child-friendly. We also have a night out once a month without the kids. Just PM me if you would like to know more. I work from home part time around my daughter (18 months) and have struggled with the isolation and lack of networking - hence starting the group a few months ago.

Hope to meet some of you soon.

Rachel

[Sunlover00]

Sorry for diverting from the original post but thought there's so many freelance mums here That I'd ask the question that I'm struggling with - how do you all manage freelancing with reliable but flexible childcare??

We don't have family network to rely on and don't want to burden friends (all have jobs/lives/kids of their own). I'm going to be back working for part of week and altho I'll be wfh, in someways that's irrelevant because gone are the days when wfh would involve checking emails now and again. So I need to plan that I'll be working for full days but there might be occasional need to go into office and work late, or take calls on the other days - all of which I can't see me being able to do and look after my daughter.

I'm looking at nannies but it's starting to get me down because I'm just coming to terms of leaving her with someone and feeling pressure with a new job - so already feel I need to compensate part time hrs by working all week anyway. Not sure if this makes sense - hardly stopped this weekend so I'm tired mentally from having all this swimming around my head! Anyone have any suggestions / experience on how to achieve a balance of flexible childcare and freelancing?

[supergolden88]

The flexible childcare issue is a hard one. When I first went freelance 6 years ago I first put my daughter in nursery 3 days a week and then looked for work. Once I had enough she went to nursery full time.

With my son I did not take a 'maternity' break so I kept on freelancing. At first it was when he napped and in the evenings and once he was a little older I employed a couple of nannies on an ad hoc basis just for 3-4 hours. I found a lovely nanny through this forum who worked school hours (so she was available only 10am-2pm) and she helped me out a few times. A friend's nanny who was in between jobs also did an occasional few hours. But this was a very stressful arrangement for me as I was working from home and the nanny/my son was also at home (and I was still breastfeeding). I breathed a sigh of relief when he eventually went to a childminder 3 days a week (at 10 months). The childminder lived 2 minutes from my house so I could pick up early if I did not have much work on etc.

Not sure if this was helpful! If you can find a local childminder/nanny who does not mind being flexible then that is a good option. Depends on the age of your daughter as well.

[Shazia_thirddoor]

Hello,

I've just come across this discussion thread through our website's google analytics where we had several referrals from this site.

My name is Shazia and I am the co-founder of Third Door which was mentioned earlier on in this thread by Norfolkvillas. Thanks you Norfolkvillas for the mention.:-D

I'm mum to a 4.5 yo, 2.5yo and a very new 4 week old baby girl. I totally understand the challenges and angst many of you are going through as mentioned above. I'm currently holding my baby as i type with one hand ;-)

Third Door provides both a flexible nursery (we really do!) and flexible Workhub. YOu can upgrade or downgrade your package to fit in with your work demand on a monthly basis or even use Third Door on an ad-hoc basis. Many parents are freelance and several work for companies where they can work from home or even those who just want to use our Nursery on a flexible basis. Our Workhub is set up to enable a productive days work and is very professional in its set up.

We've set up a lovely community where members are referring business to each other.

As far as we know, there is no other Nursery that provides the flexibility we do and we understand why. Fixed costs in terms of staff, equipment, rent and consumables make operating a Nursery very expensive.

However, as a parent who wanted to work around her eldest yet be close to her, I do believe what we provide is very much needed.

We have now been running Third Door for just over two years and looking to expand into new locations now that we know what works and doesn't work in terms of what we provide.

Dulwich is a possible location for us - all depends on what the next 6 months bring in terms of interest and investment.

PLease do like our facebook page for all our latest news..mainly events and coworking news - our new website is due to launch in the next few weeks. http://www.facebook.com/ThirdDoor

Warmest wishes

Shazia