What gift can I buy for a 14 year old girl??

[Ann]

You cannot separate a teenager from Top Shop! I've tried for five years with zero success; not because I have considered their clothes inappropriate but ( old M&S me ) very expensive for what you get. However you can sometimes get good deals in the sales.

Slightly off topic but I do think their marketing strategy is good as they change their lines so often and I must say their designs do appeal to the younger woman/teen. Other popular shops will turn out similar lines but without quite the finesse.

Back on topic I second Fuchia'a i tunes voucher. Jewellery but with caution, young teenagers are very much at the stage where they are getting selective with their tastes and why shouldn't they? They are on their road to womanhood!

[zeban]

I suppose that's what i meant really Ann. yes you can find decent separates in there that are fine for a 14 year old but they're too epensive for your average 14 year old and the price is indicative of their main demographic that they're aiming at.

I third Fuschia's i tunes voucher.

[hanstands]

Thanks everyone for all your wonderful ideas...I feel I've had an education on what its like to be a 14 year old today. I'm WAY past that age now and a bit clueless about teen life these days. The local part of my question was literal. I've not the time or energy to go beyond East Dulwich [i've two wee ones and am moving house in two days] so I think I'll try ED on Northcross Road for vouchers. Or does anyone think a voucher from the shoe shop Stella b would be interesting to a 14 year old girl? I'll not see her parents before her birthday to ask them unfort....THANKS again all.H

[Convex]

I'm sure you can buy vouchers online for most chains?

[Fuschia]

Indeed

iTunes and topshop cards etc from sainsburys even!

[hanstands]

Fuschia Wrote:

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> Indeed

> iTunes and topshop cards etc from sainsburys even!

Ah this is a handy tip...I may branch out a little further then--except I do like shopping local and at small inde shops...hmmm

[Ann]

Handstands, Stella B is not a bad idea the only problem being that it's not cheap and how much would her parents have to top up?

My daughter would love it.

Oliver Bonus definitely worth a visit as you have a good price range there and I'm sure they have vouchers too.

[minder]

Good idea Fuschia - I get all my giftcards for every shop from Sainsburys!

Handstands, you don't sound way past the age of a 14 year old if you've got two wee ones. I must be ancient then, yes I am according to my 3 teenagers!

Just my thought, but I don't think the Stella B voucher would be a good idea.

While I was shopping in Croydon with my two girls, I had to get something in Debenhams (Red Herring). They had a good look and was interested in some of the stuff. I didn't feel too bad after that.

My brother-in-law brought mine some Debenhams vouchers and they went down a bit iffy at first but soon got spent.

[zeban]

Don't think stella B would be a good idea either. Oliver Bonus definitely a good idea. Or vouchers from sains.

[sillywoman]

zeban Wrote:

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> Just because your

> daughter lusts after something doesn't mean you

> have to give in. I wouldn't particularly want to

> be having battles with my daughter over what she

> wears but that doesn't mean I'd give into all she

> wants just for the sake of not arguing with her.

> I'd encourage her to not just copy what her peers

> were doing and realise that all the people in the

> magazines she sees are alot older than her. I'd

> also encourage her into realising there's more to

> life than fashion and image. Then once she's old

> enough to have a job and buy her on clothes then

> she can wear what she wants. I don't see how

> that's daft.

OK, I've tried to rise above it but I can't. I can't just ignore that mammoth insult.

Zeban what you've said to me is rude, unfounded and very personal. you have chosen to infer from my post that I am giving in to my daughter "for the sake of not arguing". That's a serious challenge to my parenting. You couldn't be more wrong.

So in the spirit of your challenge; and an attempt again to explain why I disagree with your attitude to young teens in 'Top Shop'; and to defend both myself and my daughter - no I don't appreciate how you've chosen to describe her in 'spoilt princess' terms, you couldn't be more wrong - here it is.

My daughter shops/ has shopped at Top-shop because;

a)she likes it.

b)I don't often have strong feelings about her choice of clothes, and if I do, then she doesn't have it/wear it.

c)I trust her to be sensible.

d)She has to buy clothes from somewhere (though I agree that TS is very expensive and by no means does the bulk of her wardrobe come from there. It's more like the odd item with birthday or Christmas vouchers.)

e)The clothes are aimed at her and her peer group, and frankly they look flipping fantastic in them.

You don't know me, you don't know my fantastic, funny, fashionable, intelligent and articulate daughter - so don't be representing me, or her as something neither of us is. You sound very smug in your views of what you'd do with your teenage daughter and I wish you good luck with that if you're lucky enough to have one in the future. I'm sure your daughter will comply, but in case she doesn't I hope that by then you'll have learned that teenagers are people with their own views and thoughts and opinions on how to dress and what they want to wear, not robots to be moulded into your ideal of a little mini-me.

I'll thanks you not to post anything again that casts unfounded aspersions on the way I parent, or suggests anything about the kind of person you think my daughter might be.

Hanstands: For the reasons stated by others above I wouldn't be so sure about StellaB either.

[zeban]

sillywoman I wasn't in any way rubbishing your parenting or your daughter. I was merely stating that Topshop isn't really aimed at 14 year olds which it isn't! My friends still shop there, I shopped there whilst at uni in my 20s and up until 26- that is their demographic. 14 year olds may aspire to shop there but most 14 year olds can't afford to shop there and not all of their clothes are age appropriate for a 14 year old. I'm not smug in any way. Everyone is entitled to their opinions but you called me daft because mine don't match with yours which I found quite condescending. I've recently stopped shopping at topshop which is why I know their demographic well. Get over yourself!

[zeban]

And just for the record when I said 'you' in the above statement I was using a generic 'you', not you personally. I thought you would realise that as, like you said, I don't know you or your daughter. Please don't insult my intelligence, your condescending tone leaves me positively seething!

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

My daughter is 17. She and her friends love Threads in Bellenden Rd. I've bought her a gift token from there before (hand written - nothing fancy).

It seems secondhand/vintage is really cool.

[sillywoman]

zeban Wrote:

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> you can 'pah' it all you like sillywoman but those are

> the stats- talk to the PR department of Topshop

> they'll tell you the same. Just because your

> daughter lusts after something doesn't mean you

> have to give in. I wouldn't particularly want to

> be having battles with my daughter over what she

> wears but that doesn't mean I'd give into all she

> wants just for the sake of not arguing with her.

>

You addressed your comments to me Zeban.

[Otta]

Amazon Voucher. Job done.

[tiddles]

top shop voucher gets my vote. Yes loads of stuff far too expensive for a 14 year old, but plenty of perfect t-shirts, accessories, jazzy socks, tights stationery etc etc. I am frequently schlepping round there with my 14 year old, surrounded by other exhausted mothers. I well remember the joy of carrying a top-shop bag (or chelsea girl for you that remember) with my precious purchase of the latest tat in my early teens in the 70's. Yes of course discuss peer pressure but they actually all want to look the same (I remember that too - much to my mother's disgust).

Zeban - I understand where you are coming from but when you are actually dealing with the here and now, compromise on both sides kicks in. I have found that my attitudes about child rearing has changed dramatically when different ages/situations have arisen.

[hellosailor]

tiddles Wrote:

>

> Zeban - I understand where you are coming from but

> when you are actually dealing with the here and

> now, compromise on both sides kicks in. I have

> found that my attitudes about child rearing has

> changed dramatically when different

> ages/situations have arisen.

and, indeed, I imagine, from actually having children...

[zeban]

Thanks for that condescending post hellosailor!!! please don't treat me like an idiot, my Mum had 4 girls so I know the battle parents go through with girls. I guess I have a heightened awareness over issues of body image given my sister has had an eating disorder for half her life- starting at 15 and still going on into her 30s, and so maybe I am a little over reactionary when it comes to issues of image and fashion with young girls- maybe conflating unfairly the two issues and thinking too much about it. But I think I'd rather still think too much about it than not enough.

Tiddles, I appreciate your post :). Of course in real life situations compromise comes into it- it always does in pretty much all life situations whether you have children or not!!! Yes I have noticed all teenagers seem to want to look the same and it's something they grow out of so it's not eactly the worse thing in the world and has probably always been like that. I'd still ask my friends though if I was to buy them a clothes shop voucher for their 14 year old children just to check here they think is ok and appropriate for them.

[hanstands]

Incase anyone is interested I took the Oliver Bonas voucher option. Thanks again everyone, I don't know what I'd have done without you!:)-D

[zeban]

Yay! good choice hanstands, hope she enjoys it :)-D

p.s. sorry your thread went a bit off topic!

[minder]

Wish they had vouchers when I was 14. Would have had a field day in Woolworths, WH Smith or Dolcis. Got most of my clothes from East Street market so no voucher situation there!