Jump to content

Recommended Posts

My 3rd child is not out of nappies and I am demented with it. She turned 3 early Feb and is just not interested. She is v. smart and 'with it' conversation, play and technology wise (iplayer and DVD etc) but does not give a stuff about the loo or potty. When I have her out of nappies we have endless accidents and she just stands there staring at what's going on and blames me for being too late. From time to time she will shout me in the middle of the night and say she needs the loo even though she has a night nappy on and but I take her to the loo and it is all v. successful. Often if we are out somewhere diff such as a cafe or shop she will ask if they have a loo and will go perfectly properly but at home she does not give a stuff. Probably because she knows I will clear it up. She will sit quite happily in a nappy that is busting at the seams and not tell me if she has done a poo in it either. I have tried days without nappies but I am cracking before her due to the number of accidents.


We did have a bit of a good phase recentlyish but then she was ill with a v. upset tum and we are back to square one. She doesn't care a hoot but I am bothered that she is 3+ and still in nappies. Do I just need to chill a little longer?


My two previous children were latish at approaching 3yrs but all very simple and over and done with in a couple of weeks. But this one is just not interested. She does go to pre-school in the mornings and is mixed between using the loo and her nappy.


I think I just need someone to say she is not the oldest child around still in nappies.

Link to comment
https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/23598-late-potty-training/
Share on other sites

Your daughter is exactly the same age as mine and we have exactly the same problem. She did it all fine at 23 months but wanted to stay in nappies so I let her as she was still young. It's driving me insane still buying the things, I shouldn't have to. Feel to just confiscate them, they are like her safety blanket. She has lovely new peppa pig knickers in the drawer, hardly worn. If they are worn she poos in them and then gets scared and won't dare put knickers on again for a while. I never, ever tell her off for accidents, I always tell her it's fine we all had to learn at some point and I won't ever be cross at her. I show her I'm wearing knickers, she watches me on the toilet. Everything I can do I do. I've never pushed her, Im one for self independence and feel when she is ready she will just do it herself but she starts preschool in September and I've told her repeatedly she must do it this time as they wont change her nappy when she's there. I tried with her the other day but she just runs into the nappy pile when my backs turned and slips one on. It's really frustrating. Buying a star chart this week (for other issues that also need addressed before preschool) and a toilet ladder. That best do the trick!!

My little boy was late-ish too, about 3 1/2 or just after when he seemed to just click and we haven't had many problems since then.

Funnily enough it was after a MAJOR accident where he was being looked after by a friend and kind of surrogate granny where he said he had had an accident (looked like wee) and my friend said to take off his trousers and pants and she would fetch the spares. It was also a poo accident and my little boy took off his clothes and put them on her cream sofa, spreading poo... Anyway my friend just went oh well let's put everything in the wash and get on with the day (i was at my wits end with the potty training so would have gotten over it but probably not been so calm) and I really think her reaction helped because after that he really has been so good.

So if you can, just chill. She'll get there and really, no one is a perfect parent so anyone commenting on her being still in nappies should really just shut it.

I always subscribed to the view that they used the toilet a few times then you junked the nappies and bingo after a week it was sorted.. Andthatworked for child no 1 and twin 2



But twin 1 just wasn't like that AT ALL and blew my previous theory out of the water. We sort of had the worst case scenario (started Heber nursery and pooed his pants 4 days out of the first 5!!) I couldn't think about anything else


They suggested he stay home till he got I sorted and as he is a twin we ended up sending them both back to magic moments for a week, and meeting with the head and nursery teacher to insist that they couldn't exclude him due to continence issues. honestly, I can't imagine a worst toilet training disaster.


For 2-3 weeks he went to nursery and I was called him to change him most days... And then bingo, he suddenly began to get it. Now it all seems a distant dream. Funny how something is an obsession and you trulybfearbit will never end, and then suddenly it's sorted.

One of my sisters was 5 when she finally got it! She was very verbal and would say to my Mum before she left to take her to school "By the way, I've done a poo, so you'll need to change my clothes I'm afraid". Mum was at her wits end, and it was our Nanny who got the results in the end.

Oh this is all v. supportive and encouraging - many thanks.


I really am trying to keep my anxiety away from her and have never moaned about any accidents but do keep saying she needs to start using the toilet and telling me when she needs to go, to which she responded 'but you keep buying more nappies'! She will do it once in a while just not consistently and sometimes looks so surprised when an accident happens.


I left my older two to what I considered to be late at just before their 3rd birthdays and we were all done and dusted within days and I could see they were ready.


I think I just need to chill a little longer and forget about it.

The school did say there is a continence advisor in the borough, but tbh I doubt they would concern themselves with a child much under 5


The ERIC website has good information


I think your approach, keep trying and don't let her know you are stressed, is the right one. Don't let 'peer pressure' get to you and know that prOfessional help will be available at a later stage if it is necessary

I read somewhere (or was told by someone) that pull up nappies are a bad idea because it sends out the wrong mixed message (you can have pants but it is OK to poo and wee in them), and to do either proper nappies or straight to cloth pants. I don't know if you are using pull ups, but if you are consider going back full time to one or the other and then start again from scratch so to say?

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Latest Discussions

    • Good advice Kipper!  The 1.0 early Ecoboost and 1.2 Puretech engines have wet cam belts that fail and failure with a cam belt invariably result in catastrophic  damage to valves and pistons. Later ones were changed to chains. Avoid at all costs!
    • Sorry. Link wasn't working on my phone, but it is now, and I couldn't delete the post.
    • I think there's a fair number of "participating" sub offices that do passports or, at least, play the "check and send" game (£16 for glancing at your form), so some degree of cherry-picking seems to be permitted. Though it does look as if Post Offices "Indentity Services" are where it things the future lies, and "Right to Rent" (though it's more an eligibility check) looks a bit of an earner, along with DBS checks and the Age Verification services that, if the government gets its way, we'll all need to subscribe to before we're allowed on mumsnet. Those services, incidentally, seem mostly outsourced to an outfit called "Yoti", a privately-owned, loss-making "identity platform" with debts of £150m, a tardy approach to filings, and a finger in a bunch of questionable pies ("Passive Facial Liveness Recognition" sounds gloriously sinister) so what the Post Office gets out of the arrangement isn't clear, but I'm sure they think it worthwhile. That said, they once thought the same of funeral plans which, for some peculiar reason, failed to set fire to the shuffling queues, even metaphorically. For most, it seems, Post Office work is mostly a dead loss, and even the parcel-juggling is more nuisance than blessing. As a nonchalant retailer of other people's services the organisation can only survive now on the back of subsidies, and we're not even sure what they are. The taxpayer-funded subsidies from government (a £136m hand-out to keep Horizon going, £1bn for its compensation scheme, around £50m for the network, and perhaps a loan or two) are clearish, but the cross-subsidies provided by other retail activities in branches are murkier. As are the "phantom shortfalls" created by the Horizon system, which secretly lined Post Office's coffers as postmasters balanced the books with contributions from their own pockets. Those never showed up in the accounts though - because Horizon *was* the accounting system - so we can't tell how much of a subsidy that was. We might get an idea of the scale, however, from Post Office's belated Horizon Shortfall Scheme, which is handing £75k to every branch that's complained, though it's anyone's guess if that's fair or not. Still, that's all supposed to be behind us now, and Post Office's CEO-of-the-week recently promised an "extra" £250m a year for the branches (roughly enough to cover a minimum wage worker in each), which might make it worth the candle for some. Though he didn't expect that would happen before 2030 (we can only wonder when his pension will mature) and then it'd be "subject to government funding", so it might have to be a very short candle as it doesn't look like a promise that he can make. Still, I wouldn't want to discourage anyone from applying for a franchise, and it's possible that, this time, Post Office will be telling the truth. And, you never know, we might all be back in the Post Office soon, and eagerly buying stamps, if only for existence permits, rather than for our letters.
Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...