Advice from parents of LGBTQ children/teens

[Mother97]

Hello forum,

I am asking for advice from parents that may have a child/young teen that is LGBTQ. My daughter just about to start secondary school has recently come out to me and I wanted to know of any recommendations for books (for me and her) or local support groups/clubs from other parents. Any advice would be great.

Thank you

[Curmudgeon]

My daughter identifies as Queer. Although this generation are fluid, labels mean little. It?s rather awe inspiring tbh

This is not advice, just another mum?s experience to consider:

She knows we only care if she is happy and that we don?t want her sexuality to define her, nor for her to feel the need to either announce it or hide it.

It just is, like her parents heterosexuality and may change over time or may not,

So all in all we took the ?that?s nice dear? approach

Which seems to have worked, she?s 15 and has asked I?d if I want to go on the Pride March with her and her lovely friends, who have so many sexualities between them that we don?t need to talk about either.

I think we risk making mountains of molehills sometimes.

Both schools and our children are very different with far less tolerance for bigotry than in previous days.

Sorry no book advice there just a shared experience

[Mother97]

Thank you Curmudgeon that's all great to hear. Yes I took a similar approach to you. Though I occasionally think we live in a bubble and wonder if I should explain to her that she may face prejudice, on the other hand I don't want her to feel that it is something to hide either! There does seems to be a lack of LGBTQ late child/early teen fiction (at least I'm struggling to find some), she loves to read and I want her to have characters she can identify with.

[redjam]

Fully three-quarters of my teenage daughter's friendship group are 'going out' with other girls or identify as queer/bisexual/whatever. I'll probably be shot down in flames for saying it but I expect most of them will grow out of it in a year or so. Or not - fine either way of course! But it definitely seems to be a trend among that year group.

I too have taken the 'that's nice dear' approach (completely agree with your post, Curmudgeon) and we'll see where it all ends up. It's great that it doesn't seem to be a big deal at school any more - among girls at least, might be different for boys, I suppose. I'm sure you're right that we live in a bubble in London, OP, but certainly things have changed to an astonishing degree since I was at school (where literally nobody dared to come out) so I do think the younger generation are way ahead of us on this.

[Mother97]

Thank you Redjam,

Very interesting, I remember knowing who I fancied as a child so I assume my daughter does too. But, I suppose sexuality is a spectrum with fluidity over a lifetime so who knows who she will end up with.

I'm glad to hear that it is not a big deal at school now. At my London Secondary school in the 90's homophobic language was so common and used as a constant form of bullying.