Worst New Year's Eves Ever

[Brendan]

Note to self: Stop going to the GP with my clothes on backwards and drooling on myself.

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Brendan, you are more than an amoeba to me.

[mockney piers]

A big hear hear to the NHS posters. I too am very proud of the whinging liberalism or even social-ism behind free for all at point of contact, and it's a shame that mutual respect in this country has fallen so low that we don't even respect our health providers (though I'm sure the horribly drunk have been thus since time immemorial).

It was all that 'I want your name and number mate, do you know who I am' type stuff that finally caused my uncle, a respected Consultant and AIDS special-ist to take early retirement, totally, as mentioned earlier, demoralised. Sad as he loved what he did.

I have had issues with a couple of GPs in the past attempting to prescribe/prescribing me tonsilitis antibiotics when I had no tonsils and rubella antibiotics when I had a much much more serious ailment, from GPs for whom patients were an unsightly part of the job they'd clearly rather not have to deal with.

But that's all walks of life I guess, good'uns and bad'uns. My current one is a super star, good manner, good advice, no-nonsense. Thanks Doc.

Oh and Annaj I also happen to think you're a long way from that description, but really that's neither here nor there, that sort of behaviour surely should be absolutely unacceptable. I hate the phrase zero-tolerance, but for once...

[Keef]

Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. I never had a go at the NHS, it is a great thing, and I am proud of it. The staff work bloody hard and all that, but I still bet Hugunot's experience in Singapore was less unpleasant!

I have said on a totally unrelated thread about education, that as far as I'm concerned, the NHS, the Education system, and the social care sector are all up against it because of the P.I's set by the government, and that due to the pressure to meet these, the patient / pupil / client basically gets a bit of a bum deal. I do know a thing or 2 about this.

So please all you NHS people, don't think I'm having a go at you, I know how hard you all work, and you all deseve medals and pay rises and all that, but that still doesn't make the NHS anywhere near as good as it should be.

With regards to the urgent care bit, I'm sure things have changed, but I will never forget being left sellotaped to a table with a fractured skull bleeding everywhere for f**king ages, and finally being seen to at 3am, having come in at midday the day before. Good old Chelsea.

[mockney piers]

I wasn't having a go at you keef, just backing up the NHS people. I know you meant no harm and certainly would never behave like the aforementioned.

In this case I think you were the visible drip of the water torture of throw-away implied criticism that got the brunt of some clearly frustrated people. My teacher friends tell me similar things (and I know your missus is one so you understand) and it gets to one in the end.

[Keef]

Wasn't just whoa-ing you mate :)

[Brendan]

I have seen NHS GPs twice in my life and this is how the encounters went:

ME: Doctor I have a chronic cough. It started about 3 months ago and hasn?t shifted. I do not have any other associated symptoms.

DOCTOR: It seems you have an upper respiratory tract infection. They are common this time of year (you know coughs and colds). It should clear up in a week or so.

ME: No doctor I do not have a cold I have painful cough that comes from deep in my chest. As I said I have no other associated symptoms. It started 3 months ago and has not gone away. I am rather worried about it.

DOCTOR: Oh a cough you say. Hmmmmm?.. Would you like me to examine you?

ME: I don?t know. You are the doctor.

(Makes a halfhearted gesture of absentmindedly listening to my lungs with a stethoscope)

DOCTOR: Well I would say you have a viral infection in your lungs.

ME: Oh. Can it be treated?

DOCTOR: Yes. I am prescribing you antibiotics.

ME: But doctor, antibiotics kill bacteria not viruses.

DOCTOR: Yes. Very good. That is correct.

ME: So what is this script for?

DOCTOR: Antibiotics of course.

ME: What for?

DOCTOR: To treat your cough.

(This one is verbatim)

ME: Doctor I have terrible back pain. I can?t sleep or sit at my desk to work. I had a bad back injury a couple of years ago that was treated with physiotherapy. I had a bump recently that seems to have brought it back.

DOCTOR: Have you taken ibuprofen?

ME: Yes. But it offers very little relief.

DOCTOR: Well what would you like me to do about it? (He actually said this)

ME: Well can you treat it or refer me to someone?

DOCTOR: I would advise that you take ibuprofen.

[spadetownboy]

" well what would you like me to do about it."

its called empowering the patient, brendan.

[Brendan]

Yeah if you make clear what options are available and what the pros and cons of said options are.

[mockney piers]

I've definitely had conversation a) before.

Regards b) I went in to my funky new doctor with bad back, and I had a similar conversation, but I actually thought she was just being frank with me, though as I said, she had a better manner, more...

Me: I've chronic lumber pain that comes and goes

Doc: Hmmm [prod] you suffer from a long back

Me: Oh, err, that's not going away is it

Doc: Nope

Me: Soooo?

Doc: [takes me through long list of exercises I need to do for the rest of my life to keep back strong and pain at bay]

Me: Damn [goes to pub, doesn't do exercises, continues to suffer from occasional bouts of excruciating pain that I'm failing to prevent by not acting upon good advice]

[georgia]

My friend's dad was a GP. He had a patient who spent around 20 mins telling him all of his many problems - wife had left him, kids had disowned him, he had lost his job recently etc etc.

GP: ' Do you drink?'

Patient: 'No'

GP: 'Do you smoke?'

Patient: 'No'

GP: 'Well maybe you should start!'

[Jah Lush]

Mockney, I'm not a doctor but have you considered going to see a chiropractor for your "chronic bad back?"

[mockney piers]

I've heard scary tales of chiropractors, not sure I fancy it.

I think I'm going to have to face up to the fact that it can't be fixed, I just need to do the damn exercises :-(

[Brendan]

Chiropractor, osteopath or a physiotherapist are all options.

Take up yoga. That will sort it long term.

[Jah Lush]

My sister had chronic back pains for years, saw a chiropractor and it was sorted in a minute or two with a little manipulation. I think if I'm remembering correctly she had some trapped nerves or something like but she's been fine ever since.

[mockney piers]

Ooh, had a scary experience in an ashram outside montreal (my friends wife was training there, we had to take part when we came to visit). I loved yoga when I was a young'un so was looking forward to my unsupple limbs having another crack at it.

But the philosophies of the 'guru's were profoundly disturbing.

I know you don't have to go for it heart and soul, and it can just be exercise, but it put me off for life.

Still I roomed up with Anthony Seldon, Blair's biographer, which was very interesting...poor man bwah hah hah hah!!

[Brendan]

Stuff the spiritual side. You can always do pilates.

[mockney piers]

So people keep telling me. Something about the covers of pilates books I find unsettling though.

Or maybe it's because it looks like 'pirates' that they scare me ::o

[Brendan]

I know what you mean. I have been advised by the physio and the osteopath to take it up for my back and my other half keeps on badgering me about it. I just can?t bring myself to do it.

[mockney piers]

Men, we're just not cut out for worrying about ourselves except in a general 'woe is me low' level hypochondria that we never act upon.

No wonder we don't live as long as women!!

[Brendan]

Yeah I know (and I realise I brought it up) but Pilates is only one step away from pink leg warmers.

..surely.

[mockney piers]

I think that's my main issue with it too!!

[Ant]

Perhaps some appropriate rebranding is needed. And then just sit back and make a packet by franchising it out.

Powerlates? Manlates? SuperManlyerciseGrawr! Pilates Homme...

[Brendan]

Perhaps if you could somehow incorporate punching things into it.

[Huguenot]

I have the utmost sympathy with the guys working at the NHS, my own family were teachers and encountered a similar attitude there. Horrifying.

However, I reckon that a 'from each according their abilities , to each according to their needs' system is bound to attract disproportionate attention from the freeloading dregs of society.

Hence there's something of a paradox in an 'inclusive' NHS insisting that it's society that's got it wrong, not their utopian ideal. To compound this by shrugging off accountability against performance targets is verging on denial.

The Singaporean system, incorporating both subsidised healthcare for all, and exclusive offerings for the egotistical manages to wag a comedy two fingers at the UK in terms of quality of healthcare and efficiency of cost. The like-for-like total healthcare expenditure (private and governmental) per capita in Singapore is half of that of the UK, when the gross national income per capita is only two thirds.

Hence more disposable income for me to spend on panty-liners.

At some point we've got to say the NHS just doesn't work, and it's probably the underpinning ideals that contribute most heavily. They create utter confusion and employee distress due to an entirely unworkable corporate vision. Letting go of this utopia doesn't mean we don't care, it just means we're pragmatic and rational.

Mind you, that isn't to say that the UK should copy the US, which falls far behind in nearly all major healthcare quality metrics. A vast proportion of the yanks have no healthcare at all!

Worrying... worrying... there'll be yank tanks on the streets before we know it! :)