11 month old becomes hysterical when you change nappy - any tricks??

[hellosailor]

My 11.5 month old has been increasingly unhappy about having her nappy changed (grizzling, turning over, trying to crawl off) in the last few weeks and the last few days have been in a league of their own - it just took me 45 MINUTES to change her nappy because she arched, planked, flipped over hundreds of times and screamed and sobbed. I started on the changing table and ended up on the floor but neither made any difference - she was in a frenzy because she now hates being changed so much.

I actually thought after 30 mins wrestling , I would actually have to give up and not put a nappy on her but as she has diarrhea I cracked on in spite of having to hold her down while her hysteria reached fever pitch...!

I really don't want to have to forcefully pin her down several times a day while she screams - and to be honest, she is so strong that even if I felt happy doing that she can still wrestle herself away so it's not even a solution - but what on earth do you do?? A bit of grizzling and resistance I'm used to but a full on kicking screaming tantrum every time? gah!

Is this a phase many babies go through? does it make it any easier if you use pull ups? (can you get pulls ups in size 4?)

[Fuschia]

Try pulleys, yes, And do it standing

Pull ups pricey though

[hellosailor]

Thanks Fuchsia - money no object in this scenario - I would clothe her bottom in freshly minted tenners if it meant not going through that again..

[Fuschia]

Is her bottom very sore? Worth considering that, if she has been very upset

Tiniest f is teething and has awful bottom ATM!

[crystal7]

We went through this so I sympathize! The nappy lady has a great tip for holding them down which we used a lot, hopefully she'll come on and explain as I'm not sure I can! You sit on the floor with baby between yr legs and sort of put your leg over their waist??

[Lochie]

yes i always remember the nappy lady tip as it helped us though the stage you are describing

I think you put the changing mat on the floor, baby on changing mat, then (with you sitting down on floor) put one leg over the stomach of the baby who is lying flat - this prevents them arching their back etc whilst you wipe their bum. From doing it myself I remember it literally renders them powerless to crawl away (also makes you very unpopular but at least you have a clean bum!)

[bumpy]

Let her play with a book, set of keys, anything that she's interested in as it'll divert her attention. Could also trying singing songs, pulling faces, blowing raspberries - again anything that could be used as a distraction. Good luck..!

[Spooner]

Oh I hope it passes soon, remembering all well how stressful it is, especially when poo is flying everywhere. It is probably just a phase but if our experience is anything to go by, if they are usually fine about having their nappies changed, the change is because something hurts. Even if the bottom doesn't look too sore, it seems it can be very. Once we hit a certain level of nappy rash - when the screaming starts as you begin to vaguely approach the changing table - we find the best option is a shower down each time. It is time consuming but it seems to be the least painful way to get all wee or poo off. Wet wipes even fragrance free seem to be very painful. The shower is then followed by lashings of Metanium. All this is done with singing and even food or milk bribery if really bad. I try and avoid it escalating into too much of a fear for them as then that can be the issue after the sore bottom goes away. The nappy lady sounds intriguing although I think holding mine down in that position would stress them out further!

[hellosailor]

Thanks all! She doesn't appear to have a sore bottom but I used a lot of metanium tonight just in case she is sore but it isn't very visible..she does get very distressed even as I put her down on the table but my instinct is that it's not wipes hurting as actually when I do manage to wipe her it doesn't seem to pain her - it's also come at a time when she is increasingly upset about being dressed, putting coat on, being strapped in buggy, er...eating, basically anything which involves losing her independence for a few seconds! So think probably a developmental phase not nappy rash but will definitely keep an eye out for sore bits.

Crsytal7 and Lochie thanks for that tip - I guess you mean putting your shin across the tummy rather than your thigh? Am trying to visualise as definitely worth a try!

She is actually poorly at the moment so am hoping that the new heights of distress she reached today during nappy changes were partly due to that, but it has been getting worse daily so perhaps it's just a coincidence that she's poorly..

Bumpy I have exhausted my use of toys / mobiles / keys / iPhone / silly songs / as distraction - they make no difference now sadly, thought the iPhone to put in her mouth would be bribery enough but even that seems to have lost it's appeal!

Spooner, you are not wrong about it being hard work when poo is flying everywhere! Found myself crawling around the room behind her as she raced around, swiping at her bottom with a wipe like a demented matador earlier..

[minder]

Wow, 45 minutes to change a nappy!

I wouldn't resort to using pull-ups on an 11 month old - they're even harder to get on than a nappy!

Don't prompt to baby that your going to change nappy, just lie her down, no eye contact, sing away, any nursery rhymes/songs she likes. Make up a silly nappy changing song and just go for it. When you've finished, just say "all clean" and carry on doing what you were doing before.

[Norfolkvillas]

Another vote for the nappy lady's technique as described above. My son hated it as much as our usual nappy changing scenario, but the difference is that you are in complete control and can get it done in minutes without crap going everywhere and you ending up in tears as well as them! It was just a phase and now my 26 month old is happy to be on the changing table. From memory, the phase lasted a couple of months....

[The Nappy Lady]

Hurrah that so many of you have used the technique & are passing on the 'knowledge'

Ok - here's the thing - 45 minutes to change a nappy is awful & stressful for you & your child. You need to deal with this by changing them fast & in a way that quickly teaches them resistance is futile. ;-). Once you do this they quickly stop the whole trying to escape thing & usually become compliant so you no longer have to actually pin them down.

Sit on floor with your legs open to make a V.

Depending if you are left or right handed, put baby on floor so their bum will be between your legs, head outside your leg on either side & your thigh (yes your thigh) gently across their chest.

This leaves you with 2 hands free to quickly remove, clean & put fresh nappy on in under 3 minutes!!

Forget all the nanby pamby stuff, trust me this will change your life & you will both be much happier!

You can actually make it fun - sing, pretend you are going to tickle them etc I honestly found my two stopped getting cross very quickly using this method though I know some babies are more tenacious than others.

With no2 I worked out I could use the same technique with a change mat on a bed if getting down to floor level is very uncomfortable for you.

Xxx

[hellosailor]

Hi Molly,

thanks for posting! I'm afraid I'm being very thick and after playing around with her on the floor still can't work out the position you mean (I always failed those visual tests in IQ tests at school...)

do you mean I sit with my legs outstretched flat in a V, and then do you mean that she lies flat on the floor between my legs with her feet pointing towards me as if she were on a changing table? I don't think that's what you mean as then my thigh can't really lie across her, Or do you mean that my legs would be bent and her head would be level with my feet?

sorry for being stoooopid - feel free to clarify anyone else reading this!

[The Nappy Lady]

Hi

No lie her at right angles - so you have tO lift a leg up, her bum between your legs, feet towards thigh, other thigh over her chest & so her head is outside your legs to either your left or right.....OK?

I thought earlier my namby pamby comment probably made me sound like a right old harridon! I'm really not - just a 42 year old with a 7 & 3 year old & knowledge passed on by other nappy ladies!

In my experience this escaping trick has nothing to do with sore bottoms (though that happens too). This is about learning they can have free will & how exciting it is - the world is much too exciting to lie still for a nappy change! In a while she will be toddling up to you with her mat & wipes & taking her own nappy off to help - hang in there & be firm!!

Xx

[hellosailor]

Oh nowwwww I get it! That sounds genius

Ok, will try that at the next change, thanks!

I long for the day she comes up to me with wipes and starts taking her own nappy off to be helpful, that sounds glorious!

[snowboarder]

As a note - I find this position works but causes extreme anger from the changee - benefit is at least you can do it quick. And humph re toddling up with the mat - my big boy who shouldn't still be in nappies still does a runner when he needs a change.

[hellosailor]

these are worrying tidings indeed sb..!

Basically between the food refusal and the nappy refusal my little one has pretty much got the day sewn up as a string of stressful interludes at the moment, joy!

Good jobs she's just learnt to kiss me

x

[The Nappy Lady]

Snowboarder - it does depend on the child - Yes most get angry at first when they realise their new game has been thwarted but man quickly adapt & accept nappy changes without a battle any more. I have a friend with 3 wilful boys - taught her this trick with her first, cured him & the other two never really developed the bad habit because she new to look out for it starting & nipped it in the bud.

Some children are just more wilful, determined etc etc - I think given your past sleep battles etc we already know that young SB is pretty tenacious.

However, better an angry baby for 2 minutes than a stressed out Mum & baby for 30 minutes plus, poo everywhere etc etc. or resorting to pull up disposables which tend to be more expensive, smaller packs etc etc.

The longer I've been a Mum the more I have realised how fast our babies start testing our boundaries & working out how to press our buttons, they are soooo much cleverer than most of us realise when we dream of parenthood! LOL

[esme]

my almost 2 yr old tries to crawl off before nappy is changed too, so you're not alone! i usually distract him with a book/toy/nappy cream pot (lid firmly on!!)... sing, tickle, generally amuse and you'll be fine :) good luck

[amydown]

Our little man went through a phase of this too. Still not a fan of nappy changes but after a short period of using Nappy Lady's technique (may only have taken 2/ 3 times?) he got the idea and he's made peace with it now. Don't despair!

[cuppa tea]

I have to say I read about 'the technique' on here from Molly and it is GENIUS! I wish I'd know about it with my first child who used to have a huge, screaming, blazing tantrum every time I changed his nappy...and he wasn't potty trained until he was 3.5, so it felt like forever! It just got worse and worse - actual hell. No fun for anyone and I used to become soooo cross. He was distraction immune, because I tried absolutely everything and it's very hard to sing a happy tune when a 3 yr old is trying to kick you in the stomach!! With the second child, the moment the twisting started I pinned him down under my leg. He does get cross, but it's over so quickly that it's much, much better. Now, at 2, I rarely have to use it and he doesn't seem to mind being changed at all...so no psychological scaring as far as I can tell! ;) He is a calmer character for sure, but it has helped. Just having the confidence to know that I can change a nappy without everyone completely losing control and being covered in poo is fab. Would recommend. THanks Molly!

[The Nappy Lady]

Cuppa tea, I'm so glad...anything that makes our lives easier is good. As I said I'm only passing the knowledge on, I can't take the credit for inventing it, but I agree it is genius!

Xx

[mima08]

Hiya - the technique will be put to the test straight off tomorrow! My 1year old is a nightmare, wriggling like mad with hysteric screaming. I try the book, toys etc. I do always do the special "change your nappy" song, beforehand he thinks is hilarious, giggling away. But then when it come to the actual deed - SCREEEEEAAAAMMM! Plus mad wriggle. It's worse when we are out & about, using a changing facility - any ideas why that could be? And there is no sore bottom in sight...

[hellosailor]

Thank you this has been so helpful! Using this technique now and going a lot better! She still resists but I think knows it is futile and is perhaps slightly less resistant today than the last two days of using it! In any case, poo isn't flying everywhere anymore so that's a major improvement!