Refusing the spoon - any good books/advice?

[swagstar]

My daughter is almost 10 months old and has spent the last 3 months happily being spoon fed a variety of different foods. In the last week she has started to turn away when offered the spoon and in the last two days now point blank refuses to eat anything from a spoon unless she can hold it herself (which means it goes on the floor, not in her mouth).

Whilst this is obviously maddening it also poses the question of what on earth can I get her to eat? I can give her the obvious finger food stuff, but I don't know how I am going to get a hugely varied diet down her if she refuses anything that requires cutlery! I can't really imagine what I can take for her to eat as a proper meal when we are out and about. Bread sticks won't really cut the mustard!

Does anyone have a good book they can recommend which will help with this? To add to the problem I have a tiny freezer so only really have one opportunity a week to cook for her and store it.

Thanks in advance

[mouseysarah]

My son - now 3 - was a spoon refuser from the beginning and so we had to do all self feeding and finger foods. I am on a phone so can't do links but have a Google for 'baby led weaning forum', there is a useful site with lots of ideas and recipes.

Yes you have to accept more mess, but you will be surprised how many foods your baby can self feed! Good starting finger foods are any sort of bread or toast fingers which can be spread with good things like hummus, mashed banana, mashed avocado, as well as used to dip into soups and runny foods; omelette, with or without fillings or toppings, cut or torn into pieces; meatballs; falafel; strips of chicken, either plain or dipped in flour, egg and breadcrumbs and fried; ditto fish pieces, or fishcakes broken into chunks; and obviously fruit and vegetables, cut into pieces about the size and shape of chunky chips. Once you get used to it you will feel more confident about almost anything being a finger food, my son used to eat spaghetti, fish pie etc with his hands and would also let me hand him loaded spoons of yoghurt, rice pudding etc to feed himself.

You will probably be nervous about choking, and your baby may well gag and splurged a fair bit to start with. Don't worry, the gagging is a normal part of learning how to manage food in the mouth and does not mean they are choking - there is a fair bit about this on the baby led weaning forum or in Gill Rapley's book Baby Led Weaning.

Easier said than done I know but relax, this stage is really normal and part of developing independent eating. Just invest in a lot of j cloths and some newspaper or a plastic sheet for the floor under the high chair!

[Fuschia]

Recommend baby bjorn

Plate/spoon and tommee tippee cheap cups with the lid off to serve stuff like yoghurt

[Saffron]

Second vote for the BLW book!

Also have you tried those specially curved toddler spoons? What are they called, something like orthopedic cutlery? I can't remember. They make it easier for Baby to self-feed with a spoon. At 10 months, its not surprising that Baby wants to feed herself. She is obviously growing in her independence! :)

Some foods which don't seem immediately like finger foods can be made into finger foods. Oatmeal porridge was my daughter's favourite for ages. Reduce the amount of liquid you use when making it. Let the mixture cool a bit, then make it into little balls, perfect for little fingers. If your LO likes barley porridge and has a good pincher grip then you can try this too. Add some oats to the barley mixture to help the barley stick together.

I agree with mouseysarah, you'll be surprised how many types of food your baby can eat w/out a spoon or fork. My daughter has always eaten what we eat. At 2 years old, she still rarely uses cutlery but has no trouble getting enough to eat w/out making too much mess. When it comes to liquidy foods, she's always preferred the dipping approach using veggies or rice cakes etc.

Good luck. xx

[Fuschia]

What time you save on spoon feeding goes into the clear up

after

The benefit is you can actually eat your own food while they do

[Knomester]

swagstar I can't imagine how you are coping with a tiny freezer...!

As Saffron said, your daughter is probably seeking some independence which is completely normal. Have you been having a spoon each during mealtimes so that she can practice using cutlery? She'll probably be a long way off using cutlery and (as others have said) it's really not strictly necessary - hands do the job pretty well - but with some practice she may be able to manage more than you think. Baby Knomester could feed himself yogurt fairly reliably (!) from about 10 months - we just pu it in a ver small dish (easier to catch) and gave him a long handled weaning spoon so that he could reach his mouth and there was less on the spoon in case it did go flying everywhere. Maybe one to try.

We also found that baby Knomester went through a stage of wanting to feed himself when he wasn't really capable so we let him and continued to feed him too, at the same time. If you've been used to your daughter eating lots from the spoon it is probably a bit daunting to think of her trying to feed herself enough food, especially as it sounds like she is (was) a good eater. Perhaps try a combination of more finger food, her own cutlery and maybe keep trying every so often to feed her too.

I think being able to use cutlery properly to feed themselves comes a little later. Baby Knomester is 16 months now and has been spoon feeding himself for about a month now I think (it's all a bit hazy, could be a bit longer!). He still loves to ear with his hands though which is fine by me!

There are some great ideas mentioned by mouseysarah above which goes to show that you can still get some variety in your daughter's diet. You mention breadsticks so presumably she has been having finger foods for a while now and use to eating normal lumpy food anyway so there really shouldn't be the risk of choking which there is when they are small. You could also try mini fritters (sweetcorn, topped with mashed avocado or cream cheese maybe), cheese scones, crudites with houmous (if your daughter isn't up to raw carrot, etc yet try lightly steaming them), pancakes rolled up with different savoury fillings (cream cheese, thick lentil daal, houmous or other bean pastes / purees), mini savoury muffins, polpette (you can really put anything into them - Baby Knomester likes aubergine ones or spinach and ricotta), fish goujons (strips of fish dipped in egg, flour, egg, breadcrumbs and fried or baked), chunky soups or daal which she can catch with a spoon or dip toast or pitta into, mini quiches (make them in bun tins and fill with whatever is to hand - tuna and sweetcorn is a good cupboard standby), pasta twirls are great for little hands and can be combined with any sauces.

Good luck!

[shaunag]

Loads of good ideas above - my lo is a year and still not a spoon fan, other than in her own hand. She is managing to get the odd bit in her mouth but obviously not enough. Other tips I can think of are making whatever you normally make and rolling it into little balls that your lo can pick up. You can also make fritters from fairly mushy food by crushing cornflakes, rolling them in it and frying them in olive oil (my lo has weight issues so told to use lots of oil), but no harm for any baby provided its not all the time. Fish fingers are great and very nutritious. Baked beans, peas and sweetcorn all a favourite for my lo. You can also make tuna (in spring water or oil), mayonnaise, sweetcorn and baby pasta - sticks together so easy enough to pick up. Also, sticky rices such as thai jasmine mixed with other things stick together quite well. Scrambled egg is also easy to pick up if you make it with oil. Also, any eating out where there are other babies being fed with spoons helps get the odd spoon in! The other thing my lo always took throughout was the godsend that is ellas pouches - she has always sucked them straight from the packet (from about 7 months) and feels in control so a good (non messy!) thing for out and about if your lo likes it. Its so frustrating for Mum and Dad though, just coming out the other side of it now. Good luck! ps for your sanity learn to accept the total carnage that is left after meal times. One wear per item of clothing tops!

[swagstar]

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate all the great advice and words of encouragement!

Of course this evening I decided to give her all finger foods and she refused to eat almost all of them too! Had a bit of broccoli and just flung everything else about. Hey ho. There is a glass of wine with my name on it in about 1.5 hours...

[hellosailor]

Swagstar there is some useful advice from others on the thread I started a few posts up about my 11 month old's food refusal, you're not alone!

[DaisyDoo]

I would/did sit with a bowl of food and spoon for the child to feed themselves with & one for you to feed them whenever opportunity arises. You can start to say 'mummy's turn' as they grow older & beging to understand that too. If you live with the mess now, you will have an active, proficient, confident, able self feeder sooner making your life easier in the long run. My daughter REFUSED spoon feeding at 9 months & just let her feed herself whilst I got spoonfuls in whilst chatting to her durign the meal. She's a GREAT eater at age 4 now. Think boys MAY be different as our little 10 month old boy is 70% more tolerant of being passively fed. Good luck :)