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ianr: Oh no no no. Spinach wouldn't have done me any good at all, I can't stomach it, it gives me indigestion, always has done. I could've taken a packet of Rennies with me to neutralise the stomach acids, but what with that and the tins of veg it would get to the stage where I need an entire crime-fighting backpack.


I spoke to the homeowner this afternoon to inquire about the type of milk stolen, and would you believe the impudent churl had the audacity to accuse me of being the one who purloined his milk. Well I reacted as you might expect in order to defend my honour as an upstanding pillar of the community, and after a heated exchange in which both parties said things they later regretted, I learned that the milk was semi-skimmed and of the organic variety. I've included this information in a formal written report of the event which I have submitted to the local PCSO officer. I'll let you know if he contacts me with any further information.

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