Help: new born misery!

[Saffron]

bee74 Wrote:

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> I have an Amby but I have not started using it

> because the baby needs so much feeding at night, I

> find it's too much effort event to just lean over

> and take her from the side of the bed, I prefer

> her in bed with me. But I will try if - when!- she

> starts less at night. However i will def keep up

> with the upright feeding and settling.

> And will ask the breastfeeding clinic about

> (silent) reflux.

I had some trouble getting my daughter in/out of our Amby Hammock too, esp'y b/c she has always been big for her age, and my back is not in great shape. She would sleep in the Amby ok the first part of the night, then cry a lot and want to clusterfeed at increasing intervals the rest of the night. Around 3 months old, we managed to master b/fing while both of us were on our sides, and it made things much easier. We both got more sleep then. Have you tried different positions for b/fing in bed at night? Maybe on her side would suit her better too? xx

[bee74]

Saffron, I breastfeed her in bed both on the side, while holding her head up or not and laying back so that the quick let down doesn't overwhelm her. I've tried everything...

Bad night again... But at least the sun is shining now!

Simone, I guessed you didn't but I also wanted to make sure that people didn't think I was advising them to breastfeed only on one side!

[littlemoo]

Bee, I'm sorry you had another bad night. I found that I couldn't feed W lying down as it made everything worse. I was advised to sit upright and then keep him upright for 20 mins after a feed before lying him down. I know it's not what you want to hear as its exhausting, but you sound like its exhausting anyway do may be worth a try?

Good luck with it all.

[bee74]

littlemoo: i tried that last night and there was almost no crying, but then she fell asleep on me and every time i tried to put her down, she would first complain then cry so i put her back on me (upright), and it becomes a vicious circle!

[littlemoo]

Hmm, I'm obv not a medic, but it does sound like my ds reflux. I know what you mean about a vivacious circle. He ended up on medication in then end as all the things I'm suggesting worked for a bit, but then he got worse. I hope you have a better night tonight. I remember it all well and am praying the one due to arrive on Friday is more of a sleeper!

[Ernie&Kopka]

Hi Bee,

I thought I'd join in ;) what you described sounds just like my little one in the first few weeks...I am sorry to hear ;)

The only thing that helped calm her down was my birthing ball. I would sit on it and bounce...feeding or not it was a life saver! After all i did spend my entire pregnancy sitting on it...

I would also use the same breast but change positions and switch her round, which usually worked long enough for her to feed

I am sure you already tried all that but in case not...

I hope it'll get better very soon

[Sunlover00]

I Read somewhere that 'snackers' tend to get more gassy because of too much fore milk. Are her poo's frothy? If so, this is an indication of the imbalance and as fore milk is not filling babies get hungry faster so it's a vicious circle

[bee74]

sunlover, yes, you are right, so i have started expressing at the beginning of each feed so that she does get more nutricious milk

went to the doc yesterday who did diagnose reflux. good to know that it is that, but doc was also quite in favour of letting nature just take its course. he explained that it is her stomach and digestive system getting used to milk/food and the outside world and if i put anything into the equations (probiotic, dentinox, fennel tea, gaviscon...) i am only upsetting the natural system which is trying to find its way and its balance. the best i can do for her, he said is to be patient and calm...so i have accepted this explanation as the cosmos trying to teach me a lesson! i need to be more calm and patient - despite being a psychotherapist and a yoga teacher i often struggle with both, so i am now seeing my new daughter as my ultimate zen master! fingers crossed!

[Saffron]

bee74 Wrote:

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> sunlover, yes, you are right, so i have started

> expressing at the beginning of each feed so that

> she does get more nutricious milk

> went to the doc yesterday who did diagnose reflux.

> good to know that it is that, but doc was also

> quite in favour of letting nature just take its

> course. he explained that it is her stomach and

> digestive system getting used to milk/food and the

> outside world and if i put anything into the

> equations (probiotic, dentinox, fennel tea,

> gaviscon...) i am only upsetting the natural

> system which is trying to find its way and its

> balance. the best i can do for her, he said is to

> be patient and calm...so i have accepted this

> explanation as the cosmos trying to teach me a

> lesson! i need to be more calm and patient -

> despite being a psychotherapist and a yoga teacher

> i often struggle with both, so i am now seeing my

> new daughter as my ultimate zen master! fingers

> crossed!

I agree with your GP, esp'y antacid meds. Use of antacids can cause rebound reflux when you stop taking them. I've experienced this as an adult, really unpleasant. But at least with the diagnosis, you know what is happening and it's not your fault. Hope things get better soon. xx

[Strawbs]

Hi bee.. My son has reflux and also a cows milk protein allergy.. He used to scream a lot so they said it was colic but once the gp switched him to dairy free milk and he came off the colief he stopped screaming.. He still obv has reflux which causes its own issues but I feel I have 1 less.. I tested the theory and for various reasons gave him normal formula for two days andbthenscreaming came back instantly.. Maybe chat to your doc ans get them to prescribe you some neocate to see how your little one goes on it? Can't hurt to try.. Not sure which surgery you are at but I'm at the gardens and have found them fantastic dealing with Toby's reflux.. Omeprazole tablets and dairy free milk have made a big difference after a couple of weeks..

Let me know if you want to meet up for a coffee to talk it over x

[Jacks50]

Hi Bee,

So sorry to hear you are having a nightmare. The first weeks are so hard!!

I just wondered if you were swaddling your baby? All 3 of mine didn't like being put down and if they fell asleep on me and I tried to put them down they always woke up, but if they were in a tight swaddle it really helped their sleeping.

Just a thought!

Good luck, hope things improve soon.

[bee74]

hello yes, she is swaddled at night, which helps slightly.

strawbs, if i get so desperate to think of meds again, i will certainly be up for a meeting to hear all about them! thank you

last night we tried white noise and it helped a bit, but it gave me a cracking headache! oh dear.

still hanging in here tho.

[bee74]

just went to doc for the second time as i thought she was choking to death during the night and things have not improved at all, on the contrary.

very disappointing. he only prescibed calpol and insisted that i do regular thu visits to the health visitor before pressing on with a peadiatrician...

in the meanwhile i had this thought: how would he like to spend 3 months in such pain that he screams in agony for 6/8 hours a day making him unable to eat, sleep or go to work? i think he would take some strong medication!

and i not an advocate for drugs (i had 2 home birth with no painkillers and the last time i took something was a paracetamol about 6 months ago for a cracking headache), but spending the first few weeks (months?) of your life in pain is not a good welcome to the world!

sorry for the rant.

[Fuschia]

Take him to a and e.

If you go during he normal day and he is crying in pain while you are there, you will surely get to see a paediatrician

Good luck

[Belle]

I totally sympathise. I went to my GP and insisted on a referral and explained about the choking at night - don't worry too much as may well be symptomatic of reflux (was for us - not diagnosing just wanted to reassure you taht cd be a range of things). Agree with Fuschia re a&e if your gp is being slow. I was fobbed off with infacol etc at first by the gp. Felt v vindicated when I saw specialist who ruled out colic straight away.

I'm actually pretty pro drugs but only when necessary, and in my opinion (as you say too), if there's a way to avoid a newborn being in constant pain, it should be given.

[bee74]

thank you fuschia and belle

just a question for everyone - were your little ones putting on weight while having reflux? the midwives just came to discharge me and told me she is putting on enough.

thank you

[Belle]

Yes, most definitely - he's pretty chunky! but that's because he eats LOADS to compensate. Last week he had a barium test as he's still v sick (but much happier now that the meds are sorted) and that meant we got to see the reflux in action, but the specialist commented that he must be a 'greedy feeder' to be maintaining his weight. In reflux babies of course if they're not putting on weight that's the biggest cause for concern, but just because your baby is, the fact that she's in pain is a good enough reason to be seen by a specialist. I really feel for you - sounds like you're having a similar experience to mine 2/3 months ago - and he is so so much better now. perhaps down to the meds, the special formula or just getting bigger - who knows. but personally I felt the medication and milk made the most striking difference - not overnight but still fairly obvious.

[Strawbs]

Bee - my son like belle's has reflux and has tried various medications and is now on dairy free food.. He was still putting on weir but it was hell and we had the choking also so much so he had to sleep upright on us for 10 weeks!!!

If your gp is not taking you seriously try to see someone else or switch gps.. I'm at the gardens and they have been fantastic regarding his reflux.. It was trial and error with meds but we have. Racked it.. They said it will only get worse the bigger he gets until he can sit up unaided so my advice is to push to get it sorted..

If you fancy catching up let me know, belle and I have caught up for coffee and swapped war stories and am happy to do the same for you, sometimes it helps to not feel so alone xxx

[littlemoo]

Bee, definitely go to A&E. You will see a pead immediately and it was the way we got a proper diagnosis and started on the meds.

Hope the book of help.

Xx

[susyp]

hi Bebe, I've been watching your posts with interest as your experience is so similar to what happened with me - i echo straws - check if its cows milk - causes major colic and pain. my daughter screamed all night unless i was stroaking her tummy - had awful first 6 months - she is now on neocate. It is very common. Also my daughter was always a healthy weight despite a serious allergy. Most children grow out of it by a year - she still has it however and is 3 1/2 but it's not a big deal now really x

susypx

[bee74]

Belle - what special milk was he having? and how old is he now?

Stawbs - happy to meet for coffee, my older is sick at home (joy all round here) so prob not for a couple of days, but maybe fri?

GP called me this eve (!) and said that if i have a word with the hv tomorrow morning he will refer me to pead either at kings or sunshine house... he probably felt guilty all day. if it takes too long to get referred tho, i will certainly go to a&e. i m getting so exhausted and sadly my compassion goes at times...

[Belle]

that's interesting re gp - ovbiously played on his mind, as you say.

My little boy is 17 weeks tomo, and on nutramigen AA. Don't know if it's def a cows milk protein allergy but frankly if it's working (and it's definitely not doing him any harm) am happy to try. Think he has been on it since he was 6/8 weeks but can check. People warned me he wouldn't like the taste but starting that early meant it was not a problem (though he was largely formula fed already by then - do n't know if wd be different switching from bf).

[Strawbs]

Bee - Toby has woken up with a cold today so if it's gone by Friday I can meet you on Friday for an hour (have lunch guests so can't stay longer sorry)...I'll message you..

Belle - fancy coming along?

Toby is on neocate, it took him a couple of weeks to get used to it but now he drinks it like normal and a trick is to make it warmer than you normally would..

X

[lupav5]

Dear Bee, reading your posts has brought it all flooding back; feeling so useless and isolated in the middle of the night that seems to stretch for ever and that sense of dread when the light began to creep round the curtains and you still have not slept! YOU ARE NOT ALONE, helped me to try and remember that and i used to try and picture other tired mummies all over the world jiging, singing and rocking and going slowly mad! I ended up going to the library and getting a load of books on cd so that at least i had something to do while i was awake and even if she was wailing it helped me not get dragged into the crying and remain calm which helped me sooth her.

I never really discovered what it was that kept my baby from settling and what made her such hard work and I tried everything and in the end during one long night I gave in and gave her a dummy, even though i always thought i was against them. She was soothed temporarily & sometimes but i was thankful of any respite.

I really hope your little on settles soon and don't feel bad about doing what ever you need to do to get some sleep. I'll be thinking of you and sending sleepy vibes ( mine still wakes me 2 or 3 times a night yawn) x

[bee74]

lupav5 thank you. I do try to 'connect' with other sleep deprived mothers out there who are trying to console a wailing baby in the middle of the night. i know that this is just a phase - that's my mantra- and it will pass soon.

the good news it this: my mother has bought both renitidine and domperidone in italy and has sent them to me. they will be here on monday. so i don't have to wait god knows how many weeks to see a pead at kings!

i hope one of them works.

to all of you: which one was best for your child?