Idle cricket musing

[Floating Onion]

He's a cop actually. I quite like this catch. That was a fun day in the pub!

No idea about his dancing abilities though.

[Keef]

I'm with you RE: India Vs Oz! I was so chuffed they stopped them getting the record, just wish they'd stopped them one test earlier so they couldn't even claim to have matched it!

[mockney piers]

Brilliant, an open fridge that flew like a gazelle and the earth shook!!

Only sports commentary!

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Now children, how do you reconcile the above vitriol with Brendan's original statement:

"Sitting in the sun all day drinking beer and applauding good sportsmanship no matter which side is winning?"

Nah, it's Australians - as you were. [mine's a gin and tonic]

[Brendan]

I even applaud Australians. One of the things that annoys me so much about them is that they are actually good enough to back up their arrogance. You can?t help but respect them.

The bastards!

[Brendan]

Floating Onion Wrote:

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> He's a cop actually.

I stand corrected. That's the last time I trust anything Tony Grieg says.

[Keef]

They are great and no one would deny that. But I hate arrogance, and bad sportsmanship, and they show that in abundance!

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

That's South Africans for you, Brendan!

[Brendan]

Bloody South Africans!

[Brendan]

Ok this is odd. I had a dream last night that the Indian openers each made 526 runs in their first innings and then declared, which is clearly an impossible score. I checked the score this morning though and India had made 526 all out, which is still a massive total and a very good start.

Been looking at the pictures as well and the weather looks beautiful over there.

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

What are tomorrow's lottery numbers please?

[Brendan]

18 000 000

[MelbourneGr]

Looks like this will be a tied test. Hayden back and all. Was nice to see Pontings humble face again after the last test, haven't seen that since the 05 Ashes ha! He looked like he wanted to explode!

[mockney piers]

Should he become a real boy, or is he happier made of wood?

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Shouldn't have got too excited at 20:20 results. Back to normal.

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Can't take the name seriously, but well done Mr Sidebottom

[citizenED]

What do you expect, Arnie is his Dad......oh, right, not that Arnie

[Brendan]

Cor well will you look at that. Arnie may be his dad but given a bit of swing in the right conditions and Bob most certainly is his uncle.

[Incitatus]

Peckhamgatecrasher Wrote:

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> Can't take the name seriously, but well done Mr

> Sidebottom

Well he didn't do much better with his nickname 'Sexual Chocolate', courtesy of Darren Gough.

http://dirtymartini.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/sexual-chocolate.jpg

edit - 'Randy Watson' (Eddie Murphy) lead singer of 'Sexual Chocolate' from the film 'Coming To America'.

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Captain Cook would be turning in his grave.

[Brendan]

Now this is a day two scorecard the likes of which one does not see very often.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/shared/fds/hi/statistics/cricket/scorecards/2008/3/14961/html/scorecard.stm

[Keef]

Got this as an email, don't know if they're all true, but funny anyway.

Cricket is a gentleman?s game, but Sledging (from the wiki with examples) makes you think otherwise.

Here are a few examples. [Via] The Lankan

1. Rod Marsh & Ian Botham: When Botham took guard in an Ashes match, Marsh welcomed him to the wicket with the immortal words: ?So how?s your wife & my kids??

2. Daryll Cullinan & Shane Warne: As Cullinan was on his way to the wicket, Warne told him he had Been waiting 2 years for another chance to humiliate him. ?Looks like you spent it eating,? Cullinan retorted.

3. Glenn McGrath (bowling to portly Zimbabwean chicken farmer Eddo Brandes): ?Hey Eddo, why are you so F**ing Fat?? Eddo Brandes:?Because everytime I F*** your mother, she throws me a biscuit?

4. Robin Smith & Merv Hughes:During 1989 Lords Test Hughes said to Smith after he played & missed:?You can?t f**king bat?. Smith to Hughes after he smacked him to the boundary: ?Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can?t f**king bat & you can?t f**king bowl.?

5. Merv Hughes & Javed Miandad:During 1991 Adelaide Test, Javed called Merv a fat bus conductor. A few balls later Merv dismissed Javed: ?Tickets please?, Merv called out as he ran past the departing batsman.

6. Merv Hughes & Viv Richards:During a test match in the West Indies, Hughes didn?t say a word to Viv, but continued to stare at him after deliveries. ?This is my island, my culture. Don?t you be staring at me. In my culture we just bowl.? Merv didn?t reply, but after he dismissed him he announced to the batsman: ?In my culture we just say f**k off.?

7. And of course you can?t forget Ian Healy?s legendary comment that was picked up by the Channel 9 microphones when Arjuna Ranatunga called for a runner on a particularly hot night during a one dayer in Sydney? ?You don?t get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat c**t!!!?

8. James Ormond had just come out to bat on an ashes tour and was greeted by Mark Waugh??.. MW : ?F*ck me, look who it is. Mate, what are you doing out here, there?s no way you?re good enough to play for England?

JO : ?Maybe not, but at least i?m the best player in my family?

9. McGrath to Ramnaresh Sarwan: ?So what does Brian Lara?s d*ck taste like??

Sarwan: ?I don?t know. Ask your wife.?

McGrath (losing it): ?If you ever F*&king mention my wife again, I?ll F*ing rip your F*fing throat out.?

10. Mark Waugh standing at second slip, the new player (Adam Parore) comes to the crease playing & missing the first ball. Mark - ?Ohh, I remember you from a couple years ago in Australia. You were sh*t then, you?re fu*king useless now?.Parore- (Turning around) ?Yeah, that?s me & when I was there you were going out with that old ugly sl*t & now I hear you?ve married her. You dumb c*nt?.

11. Yet another Australian witticism with this time porky Sri Lankan batsman Arjuna Ranatunga the victim. Shane Warne, trying to tempt the batsman out of his crease mused what it took to get the plump character to get out of his crease and drive.Wicketkeeper Ian Healy piped up, ?Put a Mars Bar on a good length. That should do it.?

12. Ravi shastri v/s the aussie 12th man (don?t remember who, and don?t want to slander anyone) shastri hits it to this guy and looks for a single?this guy gets the ball in and says ?if you leave the crease i?ll break your f***ing head? Shastri: ?if you could bat as well as you can talk you wouldn?t be the f***ing 12th man?

13. Malcolm Marshall was bowling to David Boon who had played and missed a couple of times. Marshall: ?Now David, Are you going to get out now or am I going to have to bowl around the wicket and kill you??

14. Fred Trueman bowling. The batsman edges and the ball goes to first slip,and right between Raman Subba Row?s legs. Fred doesn?t say a word. At the end of the over, Row ambles past Trueman and apologises sheepishly. ?I should?ve kept my legs together, Fred?. ?So should your mother? he replied

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Good for a chuckle Keef. I met Ramon Subba Row at the Oval last summer. An absolute gentleman.

[Brendan]

Anyone else following what is transpiring in the world a cricket at the moment? The game hasn?t seen this kind of thing since Kerry Packer?s World Series.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/cricket/england/7335193.stm

The Daily Mash as always has an insightful take on the matter.

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/sport-headlines/english-cricket-board-orders-india-back-to-the-fields-20080409858/

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

So who will be the first to do a Tony Greig?