Any advice from those who've come through the other side?!

[buggie]

Background - Bugglet (now 14mths) is in the midst of (what I'm guessing is) getting use to the new and exciting germs at nursery, she's had cold/cough/cold and for the last week has had daily temp = typically in the afternoon and only going up to 38-38.3C but utterly miserable when it happens... have seen GP and ended up getting her seen at work by Paeds after having to cut my shift short due to her having a fever at nursery - all looks very viral, and to be fair, she does seem to be improving.

BUT, her appetite has become utterly atrocious. In the last week, the only things she is consistantly eating are yogurts and Ella's/innocent fruit smoothies. Even bananas which could always be relied upon are on the whole being rejected. We're lucky to get more than 4 spoons of breakfast (typically weetabix & banana), lunch and dinner we're lucky to get more than a few spoons/generally nose gets turned up at everything and anything that would usually be a big hit :(

Feeling bit stressed as she's tiny anyway, and when weighed on Tues she'd lost 400g since I last weighed her a month beforehand :-S I'm also wondering if her night wakings (typically x2 a night when had been sleeping through) could be related to hunger rather than (as I'd thought) the cold or teething (soothing on it's own or +/- calpol/brufen/teething powder seems to get her back to sleep within 20 mins).

My gut instinct is that now isn't the time to start trying to introduce new foods/routines, but am feeling really stressed trying to suss out what I can do to try and resolve the situation (guessing that's the nurse in me!), feel really daft given that on the whole she seems ok/getting better.

So, Mum's (and Dad's) of EDF - can any of you reassure me that she will come through/anything I can do to help her come out the other side? Worry about things I've seen about children/adults with poor diets/weird eating habits that all seem to start with a history of them being ok until they were ill when a toddler...!

[Otta]

We were worried about T's weight when she was about that age, but doctors always said she would eat what she needed to eat, and not worry. Take her tp the GP, and I'm sure they'll reassure you that she's fine.

[Saffron]

Agreed, I wouldn't try to introduce new routines when your LO is very uwell. But there's no reason not to try new foods. (If there is a family history of allergy to certain foods, you'd probably be steering clear of these already, no?) Interesting and easily digestible foods might be just the thing to perk her appetite. You can also try offering familiar foods in new combinations. For example, my daughter liked almond butter and honey on toast for ages, then went off it when she had a tummy bug. I recently tried offering her almond butter and honey on apples, and she loved it.

Your child will get what she needs caloriewise, it's the micronurients like vitamins and minerals that might be of concern. Although if she generally eats a variety of food when she's well, then going off her meals for a few weeks while she's ill won't be an issue. Some the toddler formula type milk drinks have added micronutrients. You could try coaxing her to have a few sips of these. She probably doesn't need it, but it might put your mind at rest. xx

[buggie]

Problem is I'm really not sure she's getting anywhere near enough :'(

Today she's had about 8 spoons of weetabix, < 1/4 a slice of toast mid morning (my breakfast) totally refused lunch (pasta, mixed veg & cheese sauce) but had a yogurt. has eaten a couple of small slices of apple & has now completely refused cheese on toast & beans and put a carrot stick in her mouth but didnt chew it, well under 1/2 what we'd normally expect.

Fluid wise she's had <100ml toddler milk, <100ml water, an innocent smoothie.

She gets in a stink of a mood & won't stay in her highchair & it's making us all dread her mealtimes :-(

Don't feel I can rely on HV's for advice, am sure while triggered by illness there isn't a medical reason, unsure what my next step for help could be (am really hoping I can look back & laugh at how stressed this has made me soon).

[Saffron]

Ok, probably going to be crucified for this suggestion, but here goes... when my little girl is unwell, she eats more if we let her eat on her own terms. For Little Saff this means she eats more while watching her favourite video (currently Finding Nemo) or CBeeebies, while sitting on the floor with her own little plate. It takes the focus off the food. It won't work for everyone, but it's worth a try. xx

[Saffron]

Just rereading your post (got interrupted by Little Saff doing a faceplant onto the floorboards after tripping on her own feet!)... it looks like your LO might be getting more than you think. Indeed if she's very slight of frame, she doesn't need a lot of calories to run her body. But could you maximise the calories she does get by offering foods with a higher calorie content, and also possibly more foods with a higher protein content?

What are your and Hubby's fav comfort foods when you're ill? Maybe your LO has inherited your taste buds. Try making and offering all of your favourite things, even if they seem a little unusual for a baby. And if the highchair is causing stress, just put it away for a while. This is def a power struggle and not nec related to illness. Let your LO eat on a regular chair with a cushion. Or put her plate on a chair and let her come and go to it while everyone else eats. Anything she doesn't eat, set aside. Offer it again in perhaps 45min, in a different room, in a different context (eg on a different plate, or with some yogurt for dipping)

Finally, see a dietitian if you're really worried. A dietition might have some clever ideas about what and how to change your LO's diet (or maybe make no suggestion at all, b/c actually everything is going to be just fine!).

xx

[Fuschia]

Buggie, all oft children have gone through phases where they eat hardly at all...and there hadn't even necessarily been a good reason like illness .. Latest baby has been

Off his food for a couple if weeks (almost 1y) though admittedly he is teething

I think weeks on end of colds, intermittent fever, a few days of sickness, couple of brighter days, then a horrid runny nose .... It's really common and hard not to fear some underlying problem (though she has been checked over so at least you don't need to worry)

It's particularly if you have a small child or a history of low birth weight or slow gaining that a period of illness followed by weight stalling or actual loss is a big worry. I have always worried more about my middle boy (who was the little twin, 5lb 5 at birth) than I ever have about the other two boys ... One was always big and the latest was small at birth but is chunky now.

I know how it feels to have children in clothes that are small for their age. When my twins, at about 14m, we're only just in 9-12m clothes, I used to want to punch mums sometimes who seemed to equate big with healthy and used to go on and on about how big their children were!

Since my twins hit about aged 3, they also Reached the 50th centile and I don't feel sensitive now about their size. They are definitely 'average' now

And they eat really well, most of the time

So try not to worry.

The time between aged 18m-2.5 isn't a great time for adventurous eating, be warned.

I think all you can do is to offer small, healthy meals, as calorific as possible.

[Fuschia]

Just read your post again

She actually sounds like she is in the throes of illness right now

So its not the time to be expecting very much

I agree with saffron

Try to tempt her taste buds... Give it a few weeks

Would she try rice pudding?

Banana porridge?

Nothing wrong with going back a stage with the feeding to some previous favourites (mine have all gone back to existing mostly on breast milk after illness, for eg)

[nunheadmum]

When mine are ill I do tend to break the rules if it helps (and when little that often meant going back a stage food-wise) but try not to worry too much about how much they are getting. From what you've said, it sounds like your LO is doing not too badly if she's not feeling great. I think it seems to be the case that the more you worry, the worse it seems but it doesn't help them to eat more.

Give it a little time and try to relax. When they're better you'll be in a better position to judge....and move back to the more normal rules of food. Somehow mine always seem to get back on track after being ill without too much of a fight. I think if you stress, you pass on messages to your LO's that there is a problem with food and then the bigger problems develop.

Easier to say with hindsight, I know.

[intexasatthe moment]

Poor you ,you must be exhausted .

Semolina was always a fall back in our house .

[buggie]

Thank you all for the advice which is hugely appreciated & taken on board - relaxing & remembering that tomorrow is another day! Weirdly feeling relaxed that we're going out for lunch with friends... Find new surroundings bit less stressful, plus she can have bits of our food so wider variety & will def try spoiling with food + tv!

Fuschia - Bugglet's exactly the same... Just into 9-12mths stuff although the trousers hang off her waist! My pet hate is people who say that being petite it's lucky she's a girl... A petite boy'd be just as good :-)

[crystal7]

Buggie you have my sympathy. Had this with my daughter from around 11-15 months. Bugglet's diet sounds very familiar. E survived on bread sticks, soft cheese, Ella's pouches and yoghurt mostly. Her weight dropped from 25th centile to 0.4th. HV's solution was fortnightly weigh ins which didn't achieve much other than show she wasn't gaining weight! Looking back it was probably affected by teething, my going back to work and colds. I too got v stressed at meal times and worried all the time. I tried offering food away from the table which worked sometimes, especially in front of the tv or in the buggy. I tried to make sure what she did eat was calorific- peanut butter sandwiches were successful. Saw GP who said she was fine and clearly getting what she needed. In the end she just started eating more. Could have been related to learning to walk, me stopping breast feeding break from teething who knows!? She still doesn't eat much and is tiny at nearly 3 but generally healthy. Rubbish advice i know but I spent so much time worrying about E's weight gain when really she was fine and wouldn't have starved herself...Try to stay calm, offer high cal foods as if it's all normal. Good luck!

[mrs f]

Baby f is a lot younger but had a phase a few weeks ago at the end of an illness where he refused food for a week or so... No spoon food at all some days & perhaps an angry bite on his finger food... Before total meltdown. I also found offering food whilst he was playing etc a good strategy for relaxed eating.

I got very stressed as he is usually a v good eater but in the end when he was feeling better he started eating more again, from one day to the next so they do get over it.

It's very hard not to get stressed at the time tho, I sympathise :-(

[DaisyDoo]

My sympathies wih you, its natural to be stressed as you want to be able to nourish your child as a parent. My daughter spent about 4 months from the age of 8 months or so just eating one soft boiled (!!) egg & a piece of chicken liver each day & a bit of wheatabix for breakfast. I was worried sick. She is the best eater I know now at the age of almost 4 & everyone remarks at the range of food she eats. I agree with others, going back a stage not armful in my experience so if just puree, just wheatabix or easy porridge work, so be it, my daughter ate wheatabix for breakfast, lunch, dinner for many many weeks (I would always try more stage and tiem appropriate food first of course). I offered that as was calorific. I also agree with others that try to make what she does have calorific not so fruity as she is taking in little at the moment.

I did, in my desperation (not to say this is the right way), try lots of new foods - I just left them on her tray, tried them myself but NEVER put them to her mouth as she was always very independent & very upset if I tried to feed her. I just took all the food offered & not tried calmly & with a smile as i didn't want her to know of my anxiety.

I also used TV but more than that, musical hard plastic books that could get messy & be cleaned. I agree it take stheir mind off.

I sang LOTS during meal time & I found that it distracted me from being anxious infront of my daughter as well as relaxing her.

I also taught her the sign for finished so before she could talk, she signed 'finished' to me & I always respected her wish to finish & as others advised, just try a little later.

Wishing you the best. My experience showed me it was very important to stay calm and not be anxious or upset especially infront of my daughter.

I have no doubt this phase will pass for your daughter as soon as she is well & as long as she did not experience negative experiences associated with food during her unwell phase, she will slot back into a good eating routine.

[The Nappy Lady]

Hi B,

I can't offer much further advice, but can say that O turned into a TERRIBLE eater at about this age, meal times were a real battle but these days she eats like a horse... Even asks me for food which still amazes me.

I remember C was really off colour after having the flu jab (if you recall they were giving it to babies 2 years ago), she won't back to breast feeding only for about 3 days, even though she was about 13 months old.

I can totally understand how worrying it is, especially given how dinky little buglet is, but I'd say just keep a close eye on things & keep her hydrated & offering treats - little & often, when distracted - TV etc if need be, or meals with other children....or let her think she's being 'cheeky' & stealing your food when she isn't meant to.....it might work, at least once or twice. Fingers crossed she will get better soon, thinking of you.

Xxx

[Gussy]

Just wanted to add that our household have just got over a strange bug that made us all feel nauseous, not in the least bit hungry and off colour/very tired, which lasted about 10 days. Could be something like that?

[louloulabelle]

hi

nothing new to add but just wanted to say both my munchkins are small for their age and I worry on the days when they dont each much i.e when unwell etc but i try to offer more snacks (as healthy as poss) than big meals and i do let them eat while watching a bit of TV etc if it helps them to have something!!! they also tend to eat if they think they are having something they shouldnt ie if I have it on my plate or friends come over and have a snack they dont usually so they will try something new but dont worry too much. look at their consumption over a week rather than a day and all in all over a year old they rarely go hungry so just go with the off days and just make sure you are offering food regularly in case they do want it!

x