Newborn - only sleeps when held

[Strawbs]

Is this normal? Our little bundle arrived 2 days ago and unless held won't sleep (unless of course midwife puts him to bed then he settled right away).. Is this right? I'm assuming he is just new and Wa ts cuddles and I should be giving them? Beuond exhausted so would love ideally for him to at least sleep fr a couple hours in his bedside crib so I can get some sleep.. Thanks x

[Fuschia]

That does sound very normal

Human bsbies gave evolved to stsy close by where it's safe

Will he sleep on your partner? Would he doze in a sling if your partner took him

Out for a short walk?

Will he sleep beside you in/on the bed? You can sleep safely with him nuzzled beside you ... Can describe how if you'd like

Hope you can get some sleep!

[Wiffwaff]

Strawbs

Firstly - congratulations on the new arrival!!

Re the sleeping, don't worry, he is very new and the his world has suddenly become very big. He was used to the warmth, comfort and secure surroundings of your womb. He just wants lots of cuddles and to be near you, or your partner. My son was the same. When he was born (he is now two years old) I would swear he was asleep, put him down and he would wake up immediately, other times he would remain asleep - but there seemed no rhyme or reason. He is so new, each day will be different. Enjoy the time he sleeps on you but keep trying to put him down, when he's asleep. But really, don't rush things.

Plenty of time for sleep training in a few weeks, months or when you are ready. Just so you know, my two year old is now a great sleeper and could self-soothe by around four months (if I am remembering so far back!).

Just one other point, if you have a group like NCT, that will be useful support and they will be going through the same as you at around the same time. Only one caveat is don't measure yourself or your son too closely against others as all babies differ. Great example is that we had one baby in our NCT (out of 6) who slept ALL the time and it made the rest of us feel very inadequate at times but it was just him- he was just a sleeper, and still is.

Congrats again and relax and enjoy.

X

[Yak]

Congrats, strawbs!

Yes, very normal and nothing to worry about. It will pass!

Will the baby sleep on your partner? That way you night be able to get a little kip by yourself.

We had great success with swaddling (miracle blanket) and white noise from about day 3 - you can get it free from simplynoise.com. It recreated the noise and comfort of being held securely.

[Pickle]

Congratulations Strawbs & partner!

Yes, very normal, and one of the lovely things about a newborn (although not so lovely when you're knackered). Good advice from others, and it will pass - swaddling tightly will help in a day or so once he's adjusted a bit more to being in the world.

Try to enjoy the snuggles, before you know it they're walking, talking, and "too busy" for cuddles with Mum!

P x

[Strawbs]

Morning all.. Yep he will sleep on part er and thankfully I've now gotten 2 hours so it's my shift.. Thank you for replying, I feel I'm going mad with tiredness.. I think we are so paranoid about having him in the bed in case something happens to him.. Should we buy a bed nest? Fushia if you could describe the Sleeping position that would be fab please!

It's quite overwhelming ESP in the middle of the night so thank you for your support.. My milk isn't in yet so I'm hand expressing collostrum and topping him up with aptamil via a cup, he isn't hugely interested in feeding just mostly sleeping - again is this normal? Had inky one poo nappy yesterday (a very large one) but aren't they meant to be up feeding and pooing up to 12 times in a 24 hour period?

So many questions, so little caffeine!!

Morning!!

Xx

[StraferJack]

Ah just seen this - congrats Strawbs and Jaws

People do warn you about exhaustion before the birth but it's only when it happens you genuinely know what they meant

As everyone has aaid, your boy's behaviour is normal. I took my little one out for lots of walks in the first few weeks and that certainly aided sleep. But babies are different and no guarantees any single method works

But another thing you will hear a lot of is "it gets better" - and that's true too

[Fuschia]

? Don't quite follow about the milk

He should be latching on to get the colostrum and then will be able to cope once the milk arrives

It will be a help if he has got a bit of an

Idea about the technique before he has a couple of huge engorged melons to contend with

Will he latch on? Have you had much help with that? The first yellow poo is a reassuring sign

[Fuschia]

I would make sure he feeds every 2/3h

Being too sleepy isn't brilliant, if it is linked to big gaps between feeds

[Pickle]

Your milk will come in soon, generally day 2-4, so don't worry too much about topping up with a cup as colostrum is all he needs at this point. Newborns can be very sleepy - it is best to try and rouse him every couple of hours if you can in the first few days to get him feeding, this will help to avoid jaundice.

I always remember the first night at home with my son, who slept for 14 hours, and hubby and I wondering what all the fuss was about - as far as we could work out, newborns were "easy". Of course the midwife was horrified when she came to visit the next day and he ended up yellower than a cast member of the Simpsons :-$ If only they came with instruction manuals!

If he's done that first poo don't worry too much, some babies go lots in the first week, others not much at all. If he hasn't been feeding much so far there won't be anything really in there to poo out!

P x

[Fuschia]

To sleep beside bSby ... Needs to be by you rather than

Partner and you might feel safest if you are totally exhausted if you try it for a nap so dp can look in on you

Warm room

No covers

Just one square pillow /cushion

Lie on your side facing the baby

Bottom hand under pillow

Other arm across baby

Lift your top and pull the baby close to your boobs

[Fuschia]

Baby lies close to you

Should be reassured by your presence and smell

[Fuschia]

Bit like this

http://www.breastfeeding-problems.com/nursing-lying-down.html

[Fuschia]

And here

http://www.hobomama.com/2010/06/how-to-cosleep-safely-tutorial-in.html?m=1

A newborn won't feed lyIng down but positioning them

As if they were is safest/comfortable for you both

[Strawbs]

Morning again.. Thanks pickle for the advice and your story, very reassuring.. It was all a bit crazy last night, jaws is sleeping now..

I'm waking him every 3 or so hours and trying him at the breast to which he latches on, sucks twice and the. Either stares at me or goes ballistic.. I then give him in a syringe the collostrum I exressed before and then we do the cup and for example at 4 this morning he had just over 15 mls.. I am all out of collostrum now ie in a syringe so I'm cup feeding this morning and then exressing like mad today, can't wait til my milk comes in!!!

[Fuschia]

Strawbs, I think he would get more colostrum latched on then you can express

Have you got the midwife coming in? Hopefully they will sit with you and help him latch on

[Fuschia]

Though it's early days

My twin 2 didn't latch on till day 11! But she got it in the end

[Moos]

Congrats again lovely Strawbs!

Don't worry too much about breastfeeding-some lucky pairs just get it right away, with others it takes a while (with me and both of mine!) but if you keep on trying and get lots of help the two of you will get there.

Re: sleeping on you, a sling is a wonderful thing. My 2nd was a very touchy-feely baby and even at a few months old much preferred sleeping on my shoulder to anywhere else. But he grew out of it and now sleeps happily in his bed, though of course still loves to be held and carried around.

If you can make it work for you & Jaws, co-sleeping is a wonderful thing and a very good way for everyone to get more rest and baby T to get more noms.

Best of luck! Hang on in there, it's hard work like no other but it's worth it!

[hellosailor]

Congrats!

Strawbs do you have a miracle blanket? the stretchy swaddle? Our baby would only sleep on me during the day for the first 2 months and would only sleep in our bed for the first 2 months at night, we literally never got to use the moses basket we bought! But when I started using the miracle blanket it helped make the transition to the bednest for both daytime naps and night time.

You can buy the miracle blanket in Mothercare in Peckham I think if you don't have one? Or you could borrow ours for a few days until you get a chance to get one, if you're local I could pop it over? (would lend it to longer but have promised it to another friend about to have a baby!)

Let me know if you'd like to try it if you don't have one?

x

edited to say - realised that my saying my daughter wouldn't sleep except on me for first couple of months might alarm you! It isn't very usual for it to be for that long, and we weren't really making many attempts to change it, I kind of resigned myself to being a human mattress for a few weeks, but your little boy will prob be happily sleeping in his moses basket in a few days! I just meant that I wish I'd swaddled from the beginning as it helped so much, we actually only swaddled for daytime naps, not night time but I should think most people would do both.

[Ruth_Baldock]

Congratulations!

Both my babies were like this, with the first we just put up with it (didn't think to swaddle) but win my second, we started swaddling at around a week old and it has worked wonders. We've got a miracle blanket and she still loves it (she's 3mo old). Would really, really recommend swaddling.

But yes, wanting to be held is entirely normal and whilst in hindsight, lovely, is exhaustng and frustrating at the same time. It does definitely get better though.

[crystal7]

Congrats Srawbs!

My little one is 8 days old and wont contemplate sleeping in the basket at night (will sleep in it for a bit during the day although this only started happening a few days ago). My daughter was like this too. We are co sleeping in the way F describes. It's the only way of getting any sleep and it's not forever (older child was going into basket at 7ish from about 8 weeks and co sleeping from 1st wake).

Re the feeding I'm no expert but I would just keep putting him on the boob as much as possible and trying to keep him awake while there. My (quite big) boy was attatched to me all the time until the milk came in and not quite so much now thank goodness.

Hope this helps x

[Belle]

My older son did this - newbie started off loving basket, now much more clingy and doing what first son did, but 4 weeks on - gah! Also had similar issues re feeding with older son, so you have my sympathies. It's really hard because although all they need is colostrum in first few days if they're not staying on for long you do worry, and we did the whole cup thing which is such a hassle so I totally feel for you. Hope you get some support from your midwives. Sounds like you're taking the right approach re shifts with partner - things improved for us with first son once we did this.

With new baby and cosleeping, I'm not breastfeeding much anymore but tend to do another approach whre he is on top of covers, and i am on back next to him with one harm down one side of him (if that makes sense?) - helps that we have a big bed so husband can't really roll onto him. I only do it from 5ish on though in morning though as feel we're all more awake then...

[Saffron]

Have you thought about using a baby hammock instead of a basket/crib? We had an Amby brand 'Nature's Nest' hammock, and it was brilliant. I agree with Fuschia and others re the breastfeeding. Latch may not be great, but it will improve, and Baby will be better at getting the milk out than expressing. If you still feel like you're struggling after your milk comes in fully, go straight to a lactation consultant for advice. xx

[jollybaby]

Many congrats strawbs. Just really echoing what the others have said - entirely normal for a new baby to want to be held. It doesn't necessarily mean that they're going to be a particularly 'clingy' baby either. Miss Jb was like that initially and then from a couple of weeks seemed to prefer going to sleep in her crib, pram or rocker than in our arms.

On the feeding side - your milk will be in anytime soon. It's quite an experience/eyeful when it happens. Try not to stress about expressing too much until then - that can be more exhausting than feeding. Make sure you have a decent feeding pillow (I expect you have as I know you've done your research!) and do get help if things don't begin to come together soon. Hope tonight is better for you.

[Fuschia]

How's it going now, Strawbs?